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Dr. Harley's long awaited revision to Surviving an Affair is out, and you can get it on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Affair-Willard-Jr-Harley/dp/0800719549You can even get it in Kindle format: http://www.amazon.com/Surviving-an-Affair-ebook/dp/B00B85M2AMSo, why don't we read through the book together and discuss it here? Everybody can benefit from studying this book. When Prisca and I attended Marriage Builders weekend, SAA (1st edition) was in the package, with the statement that it was "a book Dr. Harley would like you to read even if you are not faced with the tragedy of an affair." This is a good suggestion for everyone. Learning about what it takes to recover a marriage from the tragedy of an affair helps you learn what it takes to recover romantic love in any marriage. And it will help improve everyone's ability to help the many posters in trouble who come through this forum. We can take a chapter a week and post our thoughts here on this thread and help keep each other motivated to go all the way through the book as we learn and discuss together. I've set up a schedule and I'm hoping many people will join me. We will do chapter one week, the week of July 14th. Chapter one is very short and you can actually read the whole thing on Amazon by clicking "look inside." We probably won't have a lot to say, but this will give people time to get ahold of the book. Buy it from Amazon, buy it from Marriage Builders, finagle your way onto Marriage Builders Radio as a caller and get it free, but get it somehow. If you buy the Kindle version, you can have it instantly. (You don't even have to have a Kindle; you can read it on your computer.) Chapter two will be the week of July 21st, so try to have it by then. Post here if you are interested! 07-14: 1 You Can Survive This Affair 07-21: 2 It Could Never Happen to Me! 07-28: 3 How Do Affairs Usually Begin? 08-04: 4 How Do Affairs Usually End? 08-11: 5 How Should Affairs End? 08-18: 6 What to Do if the Unfaithful Spouse Continues to Contact the Lover 08-25: 7 The First Steps on the Road to Marital Recovery 09-01: 8 Avoid Withdrawals, Part I: Overcome Love Busters 09-08: 9 Avoid Withdrawals, Part II: Overcome Dishonesty 09-15: 10 Avoid Withdrawals, Part III: Overcome Independent Behavior 09-22: 11 Make Deposits, Part I: Meet the Most Important Emotional Needs 09-29: 12 Make Deposits, Part II: Take Time for Undivided Attention 10-06: 13 Make Deposits, Part III: Protect Your Love Bank from Outside Threats 10-13: 14 Managing Resentment and Restoring Trust 10-20: 15 Sustaining Romantic Love
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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It is a coincidence that you posted this, markos. I just got out my SAA book again. a few days ago. I started at chapter 7, but I can review with the rest of you.
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Great idea Markos!!
I have just started reading the revised version on my computer, not sure I managed to finish the whole book the first time, and look forward to participate here. (Although I am in Plan B, not even close to recovery.)
Last edited by FooledMeTwice; 07/11/13 11:22 AM.
D-Day 1 - May 4, 2012
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Count me in. I'd like to take a look at what's in the revised edition.
Me (42)
Her (43) - feuillecouleur
DS(11)
DD(7)
Married: June 24, 2000
Recovered
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I would like to participate, too. Is that okay as a FWW or are you wanting BS's only?
xFWW(me)-48
Married-14 years
D-Day~23-May-11
NC- 14-Apr-11
1 DS 15
Online course July '11 to July '12
17 sessions with S. Harley Feb '12 to Sep '12
Divorced Jan 21, 2013
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I will be participating, too, Lifetime. Of course you're more than welcome to join  BTW, your contributions on the board have been fantastic. Thank you!
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I would like to participate, too. Is that okay as a FWW or are you wanting BS's only? Please join in. Everybody is welcome to read and discuss. Married, unmarried, betrayed, wayward, or neither.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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BTW, your contributions on the board have been fantastic. Thank you! Agree.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Great to have you, Brain. I count 8 so far. This should be good.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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I' like to join the discussion too.
Bikerwife
Me (BW) 63
FWH 59
Married 30 years
FWH EA 2007 - 2011
FWH PA July, 2011 - November, 2011
False Recovery Dec, 2012 - July 14, 2016
3 adult children, 4 granddaughters and 1 grandson
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It is a coincidence that you posted this, markos. I just got out my SAA book again. I think markos might be talking about the new edition. I haven't compared it to the old edition yet, but I imagine the differences are significant.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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It is a coincidence that you posted this, markos. I just got out my SAA book again. I think markos might be talking about the new edition. I haven't compared it to the old edition yet, but I imagine the differences are significant. Yeah, I don't have the new edition. But I'll keep an eye on this thread and discuss if possible
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It is a coincidence that you posted this, markos. I just got out my SAA book again. I think markos might be talking about the new edition. I haven't compared it to the old edition yet, but I imagine the differences are significant. Yeah, I don't have the new edition. But I'll keep an eye on this thread and discuss if possible (Tricky tip: go on the radio show again and get one. )
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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So far we've got: markos Prisca Rocketqueen FooledMeTwice FightTheFight LifetimeLearner TranquilDark BrainHurts SugarCane Bikerwife mrs_cen RNR2013 I'm excited!
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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So far we've got: markos Prisca Rocketqueen FooledMeTwice FightTheFight LifetimeLearner TranquilDark BrainHurts SugarCane Bikerwife mrs_cen RNR2013 I'm excited! Me too. Did you see my request/suggestion on the SAA thread? Do you know if we can do that?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Thank you Markos and Prisca, what you said means a lot to me.
My other question is: do we start first chapter discussion on the 14th or read for a week and discuss 7 days after the 14th?
xFWW(me)-48
Married-14 years
D-Day~23-May-11
NC- 14-Apr-11
1 DS 15
Online course July '11 to July '12
17 sessions with S. Harley Feb '12 to Sep '12
Divorced Jan 21, 2013
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Great to have you, Brain. I count 8 so far. This should be good. Great idea, Markos! I'm in I am doing family time on vacation right now and my posting time is limited, but I am reading along for now!
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Thank you Markos and Prisca, what you said means a lot to me.
My other question is: do we start first chapter discussion on the 14th or read for a week and discuss 7 days after the 14th? Good question. We start discussing chapter one on the 14th and can discuss it for the whole week. Then chapter two the next week on the 21st through the 28th. I doubt we'll be able to fill up the whole week with discussion on chapter one, but some of the later chapters hopefully we will. My intent is to try to read the whole chapter at the beginning of the week and reread at least once during the week, and to try to have at least a little something to say about it each day.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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