There's a vast amount of difference between a want and a need.

POJA never, ever involves one spouse saying 'I want this and you must give it to me' - that is a demand. Indeed POJA prohibits you from sacrificing yourself on the alter of your H's sexual demands.

Dr Harley warns against women doing sexual acts they find distasteful because it causes full tilt sexual aversions. If that happens you won't want to have sex at all.

He often prescribes complete sexual and visual exclusivity (so the wife does not need to compete with porn stars, strippers etc), and 15 hours a week UA time. If you are doing the UA time right you will be deeply in love. If you are deeply in love the sex will be so marvellous and natural there will be no need for cheap gimmicks (don�t use this phrase to your h about his predilections, though it's a DJ!).

I suggest that you explain to your H that YOUR need for SF is not being met. Dr H says SF for a woman cannot be met unless the woman a) has a close emotional bond with the H and b) has the prospect of enjoyment. Ask him if he is willing to be persuaded to 'try' it your way and review in x months time how SF is for you both.

Tell him you have it on good authority (Dr Harley) that he will start to enjoy sex once you do. Call the radio show if you want back up.

So
1) More romance, more UA time, to create more chemistry.
2) POJA'd sex which is equally enjoyable for you both. No arm twisting allowed.

If he still says no, you might want to try a short term Plan A regarding SF.

Oh and snoop for porn use!