What is most important about the soccer games? Do you just sit and watch your girls? Is it ALSO the social aspect...interacting with the other soccer players, moms and dads???

Could you sit on the visitors sideline and get just as much (or enough) out of it?

If not, can you sit as far away from him and those around him that you barely see him at all? Maybe another mom will support you and sit with you way over to the opposite side and she will run interference if and when she sees xWH trying to approach you.

Are there any options you can think of?

How long is this season? Is it just soccer or every event you feel this way about? You've got several children, surely some of these other events can be divided up?

Could you do that for one year?


We aren't asking you for a lifetime decision. One year of space may be enough to get you to a place where you'll decide you want to keep doing this or you'll be ok going to games and sitting wherever...etc.

Even looking at your xWH is enough to give you a dose of contact. Enough so that your withdrawal may be prolonged or even compromised.

Your kids will be OK if YOU are ok. It's not a permanent situation.

Mr. W

p.s. - still need to work on the letter.

MrWondering: Soccer has been part of our lives since all my girls were 5. They play competitively, and the oldest now plays for high school team also. I go to watch. Yes, there is some socializing, but I am a parent who loves the game and loves watching my girls play.

At Select level, the parents sit on opposite sides of their teams, they don't "mix" at this level. However, I can see about sitting as far away as possible. And yes, overlapping event happen enough that one goes to another game, and I go to the other. Just not always. Having other mom surround me is an idea, since he tends to assume we will sit together. I know what you mean by "just seeing him" being a trigger. *Sigh* - no easy solutions.

I will work on that letter---work and the girls have me running ragged! Going out of town this weekend too.

Good news- going out of town in another two weeks to see a friend I used to date. I am crossing my fingers on what may happen.

: )

Hello again....my life lately has been a true whirlwind these last few weeks. I have missing this supportive board.

I am gonna work on the final editing of this letter. I can't help but wonder what he's gonna think...."what a crazy ex...why would she do this when things have been going well and we have the girls."

Ho hum.

.....indeed......he'll most likely think it BUT......this is about you.

I know! : )

Almosthealed - do you have an update? Have you had interactions at soccer with the gf?

I think I am in a similar situation as you. I have been divorced for about 2 years and my ex and his gf who he left me for have started coming to our daughter's sporting events together. It's awkward at best, so I was searching the boards looking for something (I don't know what, really) to help.