I have the boys this weekend, but next weekend I am going to a pottery class on Friday night and going out of town to visit a old college girlfriend on Saturday and Sunday.

Good.

So no breaks in Plan B?

I would say only two minor breaks, if you could even call them that.

He picked up some stuff from the garage after dropping the boys off one evening. I didn't know he was still there (and had asked him to pick it up when i wasnt there) and I caught a glimpse of him through the kitchen window. I thought about bringing it up to our IM but decided not to. I doubt he saw me.

I also had a friend who was FB friends with OW and my friend informed me of a FB post by the OW happily explaining her and her husbands divorce and how they were gonna be awesome coparents. And how awesome her friends and family have been to support her through all of this. My friend made a comment about her being with another woman's husband and ripping two families apart. My friend was swiftly blocked by OW. I spoke with my friend to not inform me of any other info about my husband or POSOW.

He still has not attempted to contact IM. I guess he hasn't had the need.

Sorry for the Plan B cracks, but it sounds like you handled them excellent.

Are you saying he hasn't contacted the IM about anything or that he wants to meet your conditions for recovery?

As far as I know he hasn't contacted/communicated with the IM at all. He has picked up and dropped off the boys as I explained in my plan B addendum.

I've only had the need to send him one message through our IM regarding kid pickups.

It sounds like you're getting stronger.

So today is two weeks in Plan B. I am feeling good. I have plans for the weekend for self care, since my WH has the boys.

The details of our legal separation are not completed, so I stress a bit about money, but other than that I am in a good place emotionally. I do still feel like it is one day at a time.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:34

I had a good weekend with self care. WH brought the boys home last night. I had a few issues with things they said about the weekend (no baths or changing clothes for three days), but ultimately they are okay so I won't bring it up.

WH asked my IM today if we (WH and I) could chat. The IM didn't know about what WH wanted to talk about. I told the IM that unless it was about repairing our marriage, that BH and I didn't need to talk. Any info about the kids or finances could go through the IM. We will see what response I get from IM.

I must admit the butterflies I got with seeing WH wanted to talk were immense. Grrrrr. I know this just reiterates why I need Plan B. talking to him would be so painful.

Good job on informing your IM what they need to do.

Have you sent your IM the IM training link?

Thanks BH.

I did send my IM the link to the training. I think he doing well so far, but to be fair he has only had to pass about two or three messages. This is the first time my WH has expressed any interest in communicating more than my PBL spelled out.

Butterflies! We all understand you feeling them
and
your message to the IM to convey was 'spot on'.

Good job.

Good.

How is your self-care going?

BH,
Good, I think. I have all ways been rather good at diet and clothes/hair. I have upped my working out a little, lost a few pounds.

My biggest change is that I have started reading the bible and listening to christian radio. I have started painting again. Oh and doing more girls nights.

Good.

Try new things.

Have you found a church?

I do have a church. I am attending every Sunday, though I haven't yet become any more involved than just attending. I hope to find a small group that fits me and my schedule soon.

I also have a session with Steve on Thursday. Just to kind of touch base on how I am doing.

I think I may need a new IM.

My current IM is a friend of my WH. When we spoke last night he talked about how both he and my WH thinks this Plan B stuff is silly, but if it helped me and the potential repair of my marriage then he was willing to be a neutral party.

I was trying to explain to him that the reason for Plan B, is not to punish my WH. And that even if my husband was being nice on the surface, basically every action or communication that wasn't my WH giving up his AP and working on our marriage was painful. Even if WH said you can have every dime and 100% custody and what he (WH) was doing was horrible, if he still is having an affair, the interaction between the two of us is excruciating.

I don't think he understands. I told him I don't want to know if my WH husband wants to "chat", unless it is about repairing our marriage. My IM's response was that he would still tell me if my WH wanted to chat and he would again let me decide my response.


He also has invited my husband camping (which is good, but I worry about what info he may give my WH about me).

Thoughts?? Do I need a new IM??

Yes. You need a new IM.
One option is to use an IM for communication and this man as a pick up/ drop off point for the kids.

YES...please get a new IM. The current IM is a friend of your WH? I won't ask why you chose him, but please get a new IM.

I will work on a new IM. I am having trouble finding someone who will be impartial towards him. That is why I chose his friend originally. His friend is against his affair and who wants our marriage to succeed. He has told my husband his opinion on my husbands decisions. He does not approve of my WH decisions but wants to remain neutral between us. I think he sees himself as more of a mediator???

Anyway, you guys are correct. I will get a new IM.

Good.