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How's the exposure going?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Aug 2013
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I exposed today and I can already see the side effects. I have not exposed to WS father yet as he told me he could not talk until after he was off work. I exposed to WS family and friends. I also exposed to OM family and friends.
I got one response from OM brother it was just a (?) I am not sure how I can respond to that.
My WW has also text me three times asking me to stop and please stop and if one more person texts her about it she is moving away.
What is my next step I have not responded to either yet.
L&S
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LostScared,
My WW has also text me three times asking me to stop and please stop and if one more person texts her about it she is moving away.
You've hit pay dirt and the medicine is working.
So her secret is not so secret anymore, sucks to have to face your adultery as "adultery" and not get the chance to redefine it as "meeting my soul mate", "we had just grow apart", "it was the best thing for my betrayed spouse".
Along with moving away, she is going to stamp her feet and hold her breath until she turns blue.
God Bless
Gamma
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Joined: Nov 2010
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I exposed today and I can already see the side effects. I have not exposed to WS father yet as he told me he could not talk until after he was off work. I exposed to WS family and friends. I also exposed to OM family and friends.
I got one response from OM brother it was just a (?) I am not sure how I can respond to that.
My WW has also text me three times asking me to stop and please stop and if one more person texts her about it she is moving away.
What is my next step I have not responded to either yet.
L&S  that means exposure hit the target. Next step is to Plan A your WW. Can you invite her out to meet for coffee and show her you the fantastic you? Didn't you two have an appointment last night?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 88
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Yes we did. She said in the counseling she was completely done. It is too far gone to try and fix it. Told me all the things I have done wrong in the past.
I am getting more texts.
She is claiming she didn't refuse to stop the affair. Just text "My sister too Oh my god
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Lost_Scared,
There are consequences to your WWs adultery and loss of reputation is one of them.
What normally happens is the betrayed spouse does nothing but take it on the chin and then loses their mind, you've broken the mold by fighting back and reestablishing yourself as a man.
It was WWs choice to cheat on you remind her of that, the conditions in your marriage belong to both of you, but the affair was WWs alone.
God Bless
Gamma
Last edited by Gamma; 08/09/13 03:07 PM.
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Thank you for putting that into perspective. What are some good ways to cope with the anger? I am ignoring her for now but eventually we are going to have to talk. What are good ways to tell her that without pushing her away or coming off like it was for revenge.
It was about trying to stop the affair and trying to protect our marriage.
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"My sister too Oh my god.."
Are you armed with a recorder for her face-to-face screaming-meemie portrayal on her arrival home?
Stay cool, stay calm, and walk away if you must. I did not, and it cost me.
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Thank you for putting that into perspective. What are some good ways to cope with the anger? I am ignoring her for now but eventually we are going to have to talk. What are good ways to tell her that without pushing her away or coming off like it was for revenge.
It was about trying to stop the affair and trying to protect our marriage. Depending on the ammount of exposure don't expect to be able to diffuse much of her anger. Just hold tight and you must remain calm. Just reiterate the fact that you want to save and recover your marriage with her. And that you have a plan. Keep a VAR or cell with you that records audio if she meets you face to face. That is very important. It is not out of the realm for a WW to claim abuse etc. Keep exposing, you are doing good.
WW Are Fun
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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4
Member
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4 |
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 88
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OP
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Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 88 |
I have two VAR one that I plan to carry with me everywhere. Ws has not text me since 3 o clock. I was supposed to meee with WS father this afternoon to expose to him. When I contacted hin WS was there.
I asked if we could still talk after she left and he said yes. I asked him to let me know when it was ok to come over and talk and he never responded. Should I contact him tomorrow and ask to talk? WS posted on twitter wow with a sad face a few hours later.
I have not heard anything from OM, his family or friends. I did go to the store and saw WS sitting in her parents front window crying. This made me feel horrible. Then when I came back home she saw me and turned and walked away from the window. I feel bad but I know this has to be done so I can fight for our marriage.
If and when I do contact her should I ask to sit down and talk?
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BrainHurts,
I have read carrot and stick of plan A. From our meeting with the counselor I know where I went wrong in the past and plan to use it. It is going to be hard because WS is not living at home. The only time she is here is during the week when she comes home on her lunch break to let the dog out. Any links to Plan A when WS in not living in the home?
Thank you L&S
Last edited by lost_scared; 08/09/13 09:56 PM.
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...I know this has to be done so I can fight for our marriage.
Per-zack-ly!
Don't give up on OM's contacts, although too often the "boys will be boys" mentality prevents excessive condemnation landing upon their heads.
Here are your responses to WW and her family:
I did what I did as it was necessary to stop her affair.
I did what I did to give us a chance to find the love we once had.
I did what I did. Now is the time to rebuild, and that is what I desire.
Over, and over, and over......
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Thank you NeverGuessed.
I will definitely use that. I got a few books I am going to read this weekend. They are surviving an affair and his needs her needs. Hopefully they help me so I can not make too many mistakes.
L&S
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4
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Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4 |
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4
Member
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Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4 |
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 88
Member
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OP
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Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 88 |
BrainHurts,
These will be very helpful. I really appreciate all your help. At this point I need all the help and support I can get.
L&S
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4
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Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4 |
BrainHurts,
These will be very helpful. I really appreciate all your help. At this point I need all the help and support I can get.
L&S No problem, friend we understand. Another good show of a H Plan A'ing from afar, but keep in mind they don't think she's still involved with OM. Tell us what you think. Radio clip of Plan A'ing from afar Segment #2 Segment #3
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 88
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OP
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Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 88 |
BrainHurts,
I just exposed today so I am sure that is not my case. Any help is appreciated and needed. Thank you very much. MB is a great help and support group for me.
L&S
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