|
|
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179 |
Yes, still text her the joke. Feel free to leave the letter (I still think your pillow would be better), but clearly you should only put out letters that you feel are expendable.  If those candles are important to you, there's nothing wrong with fishing them out, either. You could even tape that letter back together and put it under the pillow, lol. Use large pieces of packing tape so it can't be easily ripped up.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 88
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 88 |
Is this the right thing to do? I am questioning if she will think I am being clingy or weak. I don't want to chase her further away. At this point I am trying to bring her back in and show WS we were once happy. Should I just leave her alone for a few days or keep up with the plan? Its too late to recover those items. I have already took the trash to the dump.
L&S
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352 |
...WS ripped up the love letter she wrote me and tried to hide it in the bottom of the trash can.Wait! She didn't give you the dog ![[Linked Image from planetsmilies.com]](http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/party/party0042.gif) did she?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 200
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 200 |
Lost-
�
�
She threw it away so you wouldn't find it.�
It could mean she read it, or she just tossed it.� Doesn't matter right now.
�
That alone is not going to make or break this.� Next step.
�
Don't panic, still contact her tonight.� Just understand no amount of reasoning with her, or showing her " how it use be " is going to snap her out.
�
It takes time.
�
Follow the plan.�
�
Post up exactly what she has to say when you send the text.
WW Are Fun
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 88
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 88 |
WS has not taken the dog nor has she said I could have him. We have not spoken so we haven't talked about anything. The text I am going to send is a joke. That was the advice I was given to kind of ease the mood. Let her know the door is open and not talk about relationship or the A.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179 |
What you were doing a day or three ago was clingy and weak. What you're about to begin doing is to show with your actions, "I want you, I'll fight for you, but I'll be ok without you."
That's a powerful position to be in. The strongest position when the negotiations finally begin is the one that would like what the other party can offer, but doesn't need it.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 88
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 88 |
Do I send the joke and wait for a possible response or do I send the joke and punch line all at once? I know WS will probably not respond.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 200
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 200 |
However you want to do it Lost
WW Are Fun
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 88
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 88 |
Sent, I am not expecting a repose so no expectations. Should I still text her in the morning with a text that says "Good Morning beautiful, I hope you have a good day. I don't want to do too much too fast. If I do send a text in the morning should I leave another love letter she wrote me.
Last edited by lost_scared; 08/13/13 09:09 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 200
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 200 |
You know your WW better than anyone else, and you two haven't talked in a few days so go ahead.
Honestly I'm looking for her responses and I would be surprised if she didn't respond in some manner.
WW Are Fun
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179 |
When you send jokes, send the punch line with it, or immediately after, so it's clear you're not waiting for a response. Whatever you do, it's giving without expectation of a return.(And remember that an unpleasant response from her is just as good as a pleasant one. When she moved from not responding to responding, whether good or bad, that's a good step.)
I don't think 2 texts a day is excessive. I think it's a good starting point, from which you can gradually increase your interactions with WW. No contact at all will send her the message that you don't care, and that she's free to pursue her adultery without additional consequences.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123 Likes: 1 |
I would be careful taking advice from an obviously unrepentant wayward in other venues...
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 88
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 88 |
I sent the text/joke last night and no response. But I was not expecting one. I also left another love letter she wrote me hidden under my pillow but noticeable so she will see it. I was thinking about sending another joke tonight or texting her this evening. What would be acceptable to say if I text her this evening? Keep in mind we have not talked in 6 days.
HoldHerHand- who are your referring to?
L&S
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 200
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 200 |
Holdherhand is referring to�specific advice�you received on your�WW's anger from another source.
�
You can def. send another text, but again don't expect anything.� Just keep it light, whatever it is.
�
�
�
�
�
�
WW Are Fun
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179 |
Another joke, a funny news headline, whatever is humorous and catches your eye.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 88
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 88 |
I came home today to find that a few things were missing. WS took a bottle of hair gel and her recipes. WS did not read the letter I wrote. I put it in a specific spot and noticed it had not been touched. I was kind of thinking about texting her in the morning instead of tonight.
I was thinking about saying something like "Good morning beautiful, I hope you have a good day." I am anxious to see if WS paycheck gets deposited in our joint account tomorrow or if she has opened another one.
I have opened my own checking account and want to wait to see what she does before I switch my direct deposit. I have not texted WS since last night and have not gotten a response.
L&S
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 200
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 200 |
You should secure your finances asap.
�
Is there still a computer in the house?�
�
I'm not real keen on the idea that she can just come and go as she pleases
�
�
�
�
WW Are Fun
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 88
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 88 |
No WS has taken the computer. I am working from my other laptop which comes with me to work. I don't think changing the locks to keep her out will solve anything. If anything it will just make her even more mad. Idk what to do.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,708
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,708 |
Changing the locks will make it so she can't enter into your home and sneak stuff away. She will need to ask you directly for items.
1. You will know they are gone when you give them
2. She will need to talk to you instead of avoiding you.
If she gets mad about it, just tell her you need to not have your privacy violated by her secret visits when you are gone.
Say it nicely (matter of fact, not love busting)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6 |
Did you ever write Dr. Harley?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
1 members (Gregory Robinson),
942
guests, and
42
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,035
| |
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
