No she moved out of state. They have been just texting and video chatting. I will email it to her.

Just wanted to post a radio clip about this.
Radio Clip on Separating

Good job.

I wish I could emotionally have handled Plan A longer, WH was great today. I wished he had treated me like crap today but he was actually kind, and noticed my new perfume, said I looked stunning, said he loves me, said he missed me etc...

Well here we go, let's see where Plan B takes me.

That's exactly what you want when you enter Plan B. You want to leave a really good impression and then close the door.

I would have to agree. Leave a good impression so he has something to miss while you go into a very dark plan b.

I understand that, I guess it is the fact that I am having to move on without him because he is choosing this. I'm sure I'll be fine, just wish I could say the same about him. Thanks for letting me vent, my family is glad I am no longer allowing him to contact me because they hate him, so I don't feel comfortable expressing myself to them.

You are doing great! At this point, logic will be your better guide than your emotions. That's the great benefit of an IM - they won't let anything but a statement of agreement to conditions of Plan B letter to get to you. That helps to keep you protected.

Brainhurts thanks for that clip it made sense and i could relate to it. Hopefully WH does come around and we learn to meet our ENs before moving back in together.

So typically when do you start feeling better in Plan B? Like when do you stop wondering what they thought of the letter. Or if they've decided no? I know it has only been a day and I know it will be easier later.

Plan A is hard. Plan B is hard. I wish you could have held on longer too. You were really getting the hang of it. There is a reason Dr. Harley recommended a full 3 weeks to you. He needed to see real changes in you. But don't forget how reckless he has become.

However, since you have committed to Plan B you have to stick with it! If you bend now, he won't take you serious.


As you know, in Plan B, you focus totally on yourself and your son. This is not a plan in which you wait for your H to reconcile with you. It is to close your LB account and protect yourself emotionally from him. If he does decide to accept your terms, then great! You have a chance to R your M. If not, you will be in the process of gaining your own personal strength. Divorce is a real possibility. You have to come to grips with this.

I would guess in 3-4 weeks you should start feeling better. There is no magic button that will instantly make you feel better either in Plan A or B. I hope you didn't go into Plan B thinking that today you would feel like a million bucks.

The only thing that has changed today is that you have cut communications with him and delivered your terms. He now knows how serious you are about this.

The past is the past but I would have loved to see you hang on another week like Dr Harley said before pulling the trigger on this.

20YH, I understand and wish I could have held on, but I could not keep my food down anymore and throwing up every morning. It was all I was thinking about, it was consuming my thoughts. I do agree I was starting to. See from his pov but it was getting hard to keep a smile and talk to him without my voice breaking. Thank you for the advice.

Protecting a BS's health is one of the reasons why Dr. Harley developed Plan B. You entering into it at this point makes a lot of sense for sure. Your son needs his mommy to be in good health. He is counting on you.

Hang in there. I know you are strong and can do this!

jm, it is not only external communication with WH that is terminated via Plan B; it is also internal consideration (contemplation?) about him, his actions, his situation. The sooner WH becomes a non-person in your consciousness, the sooner your nerves will moderate, your food will stay down, and you will be better able to concentrate on the only two persons important in your life going forward - yourself, and your son.

Do NOT be reticent about telling family and friends that they are not to mention WH to you in any way or context. You will likely have some addled aunt or somesuch, who will give you a WH-update, "because she thought you should know". Be stern and rigorous in explaining that she is doing you an ill-service by her misguided interference. (I wish Scotland were still posting here, as she served as the Plan B "Ice Queen" - she's Canadian - for many BWs starting out.)

This "exclusion" will not be immediate, nor simple. The sooner you make it your new environment, the easier on you it will be.

Is it too late to expose to OW father? OW cousin who supported the exposure sent me his email and said I really should have told him also. Im in Plan B, does it matter anymore?

Is it too late to expose to OW father?

I'd do it, most assuredly!

(Of course, I have never found a grenade I did not want to throw, so maybe you should await some additional advice!)

In plan B you shut everything off. Everything.

I really want to as a last resort since it is him supporting her while she is living here. He pays the phone etc. I would even give him my WH info lol, but if it is not recommended for me to do it, could one of my family members do it?

Yes, expose to him

What should I write? Is there a sample or could you guys give me ideas? Should i include WH contact info?

Dear OW Father,

It is great sadness I write to inform you that your daughter has been having an affair with my husband.
We have been married 3 years and have a son and this affair has devastated our family.
Despite promises to end the affair they remain in contact with each other.
Can you please use any influence you may have to encourage your daughter to stop speaking to and having sex with my husband?

I love my family and would very much like to save our marriage.
Please feel free to contact me with any questions.

Sincerely