Thanks Jedi, so I should not include WH contact info?

I don't know If there's any benefit to include your husbands contact info.
Oh but include your husbands name "my husband Bill and I have been married...."

You should provide your contact info.

Is the father Japanese?

No, mother is.

Why are you doing this? Every time you make a move, initiate conversations about him, further expose, you are going to set yourself back.

You have just lost 1 whole day to move forward. You can easily justify just about any rationale but it is you that you are hurting.

You decided to go into Plan B. So you expose, then what? Wait for his response and then ponder that? What next? Someone else you forgot ?

Cut ALL ties with this situation. That is what Plan B is. Ok?

You have to let go. Let go of everything about this.

That is exactly what Plan B is. Letting go.

Your letter outlined your conditions. If you keep exposing, poking the situation and making moves you are going to look psycho. You have to follow through on this plan!

What you are doing is not a good start. I hate to tell you that but it is true.

I don't know how she missed exposing to the OW father but I believe Dr Harley would encourage her to expose to him.

Exposure is what kills affairs. Exposing will not make her look psycho. The letter clearly portrays her as a woman desperately trying to save her marriage and ask the OW father for help.

I see your point 20YH, I can see WH pushing even closer to OW because now her dad will be on her. I see myself being hurt if WH shows up here at home and says something to me. I have not sent anything, that's why I came on here to ask if there was a point anymore, if it would help in killing the affair.

Jedi, OW father information was not available to me, her cousin sent it to the fake FB a week ago. I had not checked it since doing the exposure, I could not even remember what email I had used. If I had had it, I definitely would have exposed to him ASAP, but the only people I had was OW aunts and cousins.

You all realize that sending the note to OW's father could have been completed in about two minutes, while this conversation has now entered its second day.

Which path do you think would have been more Plan-B-supportive?

In Plan A.



In Plan A.

Closer than what jma? They are already close.




Your WH could do this anyways. That is why you need to have a plan for how to handle any attempts from WH for contact. You need a strong Plan B and you will most likely will find holes to plug up along the way.


I'm not sure why it would be okay to leave OW's father in the dark about the truth...just because you are in Plan B. I certainly would not be okay with being left in the dark if my own daughter was destroying someone else's family.

Can the cousin tell the father?

Jo-Plan B is intended to break all ties with the WS and ALL associations. All. It is not to continue to make efforts to break up the A or to win the WS back. That is what Plan A is designed to accomplish.

Part of the intentions of Plan B is for you to emotionally distance yourself from the entire situation. The idea is that you will begin to not worry about what he is doing, what he is going to do next...on and on. Over time, you will start to feel better.

Of course it would have been nice for the OW's father to know. However, you are past that stage. Can't you see how even talking about this is causing anxiety? Isn't that exactly what you are trying to avoid?

What's done is done. You are now moving to the next phase.

At this point the ball is totally in his court. What he does or does not do has no bearing on you at all. The only impact now is if/when he decides to accept your terms of R. Plan B encourages you to move on with your life without him!


Please take the time to read other threads of Plan B on this forum.

You have to let go now. That is what Plan B is. Letting go. Every time you do something designed to try to win him back...you will reset your Plan B progress to Step 1.

NG, IDK, I guess not sending it is Plan B right? That's why I am asking y'all..

PF, he has heard from the family, but of course it was probably changed many times over. The cousin just said I should tell him directly.

20YH, I get it. I am not anxious, I am doing okay. I just wanted to know if I should.

ETA: I was reading 'Thinking of doing Plan B' thread. She has recently came to the same problem. She is in Plan B but is exposing to OW mother but its her own mother doing the letter to OW mother. 20YH, I get it, I should not be getting worked up, I just feel like I left a major opportunity to bust the affair. I am thinking of asking Dr. H on the show.

I am thinking of asking Dr. H on the show.

When will you be on?

Really in the end, it is a judgment call on your part, Jo. What do you want to do?

NG, I emailed the question. No response yet.

20YH, I am 100% unsure lol. At the end of the day if they want to communicate they will. I'll wait to see what Dr. H says. I know my own parents play a large role in my life and the hammer would come down on me and they would probably cut me off financially. But that's me and my family. They could support her and WH. IDK.

Right now I am reading other threads such as Rocketqueen and Gloveoil and what they have been through.

True Gloveoil, I think all BSs wish their WS would see things like you did. At the end of the day, each one of us has to make the choice to change. I know because of MB, I will never again commit the same mistakes towards WH or in any other relationship.

Totally broke down tonight at a family dinner. The last time we were here was for WH birthday. I couldn't help myself, I ended up in silent tears and just lowered my head. I miss him. I miss the laughs. I miss talking to him everyday... definitely will be taking Nyquill tonight.

Im sorry that things are rough. But hang in there you will make it. Do and be the best you.

I can tell you that Dr. Harley DOES say to go ahead and expose in Plan B if it was not done in Plan A. I haven't heard him address the scenario where a significant exposure target was missed in Plan A, but I suspect he would say go ahead and complete the exposure.

And get it done, and move on into Plan B and stop thinking about it all.