Has he gone to a doctor to get some ADs?

How did he carry on his affair? Phone? Meet in person? Do you have GPS on his vehicle? VAR in his vehicle?

Hello Brain Hurts, Back to Dday One now I guess. Just asked him to leave. Attempted reconciliation after the A was exposed about 1 month and 2 days ago but saw signs of him distancing himself again. I cannot be the other woman! He was turning off his phone locator, erasing messages in different places I found, then making excuses, still so secretive. I suggested a long weekend to heal and he arranged that immediately and I thought we were doing really good, having fun again. But it seemed to me that he was starting to withdraw a little as the weekend went on, just when I felt like I was feeling really hopeful about the a brighter future.

Come Monday, he goes to his IC as usual, then we meet to eat after work, he brings me flowers and a beautiful sentimental card. But oddly, he gives me disconnected odd glances at times during the evening. Not feeling the connection if you get my drift.

Turns out, today, he gets up really early, says he has meetings
off site at a facility all day. Would be "swamped" with one meeting after another then lunch. May come home not sure, may go back to work? Vague time again..... sounding fishy? Day progresses, no texts, no pics to reassure me and record locator turned off. "Drains my battery" too fast. More red flags than the Indianapolis Speedway again. Finally get a text, but he seems stressed or irritated in it. Did some checking, no meetings, no lunch, no plans to be at that facility, nothing scheduled till the next day. Filled with BS stories one after the next.

I tried to ask questions to see if he would tell the truth and said you seem stressed, no just "tired." Tried to give him an opportunity to spill the beans and tell the truth but no one lie after the next. So over goes the table and the heartache pours out again. He did not want to leave and begged me to allow him to stay but I am done. It is finished. I have been a doormat to someone who does not love me for too long. Knew it was terminal and saw the signs when I smelled the affair. He is addicted to the cocaine and does not want to quit. She found him after the NC letter and now is claiming to be pregnant. I asked why he had to go see her and why the discussion was not sufficient over the phone. Too confused he said. I shared with him the tenants of the agreement of reconciliation is NC with the OW and complete honesty about everything. Nothing not a peep. Didn't want to upset me he said. Oh more lies and deceit not upset me really!!! I cannot and will not take anymore lies and heartache. My heart is broken in an million pieces and I see he feels bad but can see he is still so addicted to her from many comments he made. Hope I can get a refund on some of this stupid stuff I ordered to heal a broken marriage. Hope he has a wonderful life with his OW and their love child. I am done. Better luck to the next couple, not sure about the statistics of reconciliation but I was not a lucky one times two!

In so much pain and typing through my tears. Sorry he has been on and off AD for years. Now on 3 adding a 4th one. Strong family history of depression, anxiety and brother with bipolar disorder. Also evident in several in extended family, cousins and nieces and nephews. Very sad, know it is a struggle and had been reading a great book on how to live with a Depressed person until it turned into, How to Survive an Affair. Now he has gotten this high, which must feel so good to a person that is so low all the time. He seems to be addicted like a drug addict. Throwing everything away for it. Promising me the moon, but still wants to work on things with her? 3 is not company. No, I don't think so. No point in working on this. He is an addictive personality I am afraid and now he has a new addiction. Chocolate and old cars made him happy for awhile but now this. Cannot compete and will not try.

Devastated, I am so sorry to hear this. I would strongly urge you to expose the affair today. Once you have done that, plan to go into Plan B. Do you have the book Surviving an Affair? Are you familiar with Plan B?