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You also have the option of not speaking to your ex at all, which is what I would suggest. You can have an intermediary communicate anything that is pertinent. Ex-spouses don't have to communicate to be good parents.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

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He is so controlling and possessive over me and uses boys as a tool to control me. I need to learn how to stand up to him and not cowar down to his bully ways. I just get so scared of losing boys completely and not being able to see them.

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Originally Posted by Ss83
He is so controlling and possessive over me and uses boys as a tool to control me. I need to learn how to stand up to him and not cowar down to his bully ways. I just get so scared of losing boys completely and not being able to see them.

But how can your ex decide whether you see your children or not? Surely the courts make this decision, right? The court didn't order you to give into him all the time in exchange for getting to see your children, did it?


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No. I will have to go to court and get at least visitation rights back. That would be the best start I guess.

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Originally Posted by Ss83
He is so controlling and possessive over me and uses boys as a tool to control me. I need to learn how to stand up to him and not cowar down to his bully ways. I just get so scared of losing boys completely and not being able to see them.

Are you going to get an IM?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
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Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Originally Posted by Ss83
No. I will have to go to court and get at least visitation rights back. That would be the best start I guess.

Yes - you shouldn't be in a situation where he decides instead of the proper authorities.

Why did you lose visitation rights?


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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He had me thrown in jail the Saturday before our hearing for visitation hearing. I stayed in the 48 hours on bogus charges and Monday after our hearing which he got full custody I got released. I then like an idiot sued the county and won, so now they won't help me at all and drag there feet when it comes to a hearing o any kind.

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What is an IM

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He had you thrown in jail for what?


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Originally Posted by Ss83
What is an IM
Intermediary Training School


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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They Didnt have a warrant or anything. The cops come picked me up and threw me in jail on a 48 hour hold is what they called it.

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I don't know what to start or how to start exactly or even what to do on trying to save my marriage or if I should just walk away. I love him but I don't want to hurt him any worse. That's why I am branching out for guidance and help.

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Originally Posted by Ss83
They Didnt have a warrant or anything. The cops come picked me up and threw me in jail on a 48 hour hold is what they called it.
But what were the charges?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Originally Posted by Ss83
They Didnt have a warrant or anything. The cops come picked me up and threw me in jail on a 48 hour hold is what they called it.
But what were the charges?

I'd really like that one answered.


Markos' Wife
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What to do with an Angry Husband

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There were no charges. They came picked me up and hauled me to jail. No charges, no explanation, no nothing. Told me they hve 48 hours to charge me, but let me out Monday afternoon after our hearing and said we're very sorry we had a misunderstanding you can go.

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Originally Posted by Ss83
There were no charges. They came picked me up and hauled me to jail. No charges, no explanation, no nothing. Told me they hve 48 hours to charge me, but let me out Monday afternoon after our hearing and said we're very sorry we had a misunderstanding you can go.
And so you sued them?

Does your XH work for the legal system? Did he file a complaint? I'm confused as to what made them just go over and pick you up and haul you off?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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He has friends in the system and has been able to get his way here in the surrounding counties by money and power. Yes I sued the county in federal court and won

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Originally Posted by Ss83
He has friends in the system and has been able to get his way here in the surrounding counties by money and power. Yes I sued the county in federal court and won
Sorry about that.

So why is it you don't have custody?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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I never went back to court to fight him. He has won every battle we have had.

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Originally Posted by Ss83
I never went back to court to fight him. He has won every battle we have had.
So why didn't you go and fight for your kids? How much do you have them now?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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