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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
[They know that John is her friend, they just don't know the extent and my mother is admant that I should not Sad, I know your mother means well but she has no experience and background in saving a marriage from an affair. Dr Harley is a psychologist and an expert and he is ADAMANT that the children are told. It is harmful to lie to them about this.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 8
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Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 8 |
I am seeing the light, guys. Here's what I hope happens: I go home tonight, call all the boys in and tell them what he is to her and let them know what they have done. I am hoping that she will see their reaction and truly realize the impact and selfishness involved in her behavior.
Besides, I need their help to disrupt her communication.
Last edited by SadyetdevotedBH; 08/29/13 03:19 PM.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
I am seeing the light, guys. Here's what I hope happens: I go home tonight, call all the boys in and tell them what he is to her and let them know what they have done. I am hoping that she will see their reaction and truly realize the impact and selfishness involved in her behavior.
Besides, I need their help to disrupt her communication. Perfect!! And be sure and tell them her plan to bust up the family for this loser. They need to know also WHY he is in prison and that the FBI has contacted you. I would not include her on this discussion. Do you have a keylogger on her computer?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 395
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He's up for parole in 8years?
How would it effect him if the parole board heard he was breaking up someone's marriage while in prison?
You can give him great reason to back off!
Me 58: FWH (NC 32 yr), W 60, married 36 yr, DD 32
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
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Here's the deal - and it ain't an easy one to pull off! For certain elements of her lifestyle, that can be used to facilitate her affair, and provide her a comfy "home-life" while she develops the access to her planned "whore-life", you are going to have to be a p***k, but a caring, regret-filled, p***k!
The trick is going to have to be that you sell her on the following construct:
"WW, I have hopes that we can save and recover our marriage, but I cannot permit anyone (unspoken: including you!) to take actions that make that less likely to be pursued, and more difficult to accomplish. Therefore I am forced to have already:
- cut you off from all access to the proceeds of my wages and/or salary. I have opened new accounts in my name only, and will control all disbursement of funds.
- cancel all our jointly-held credit cards.
- remove you from usage of the vehicles titled and registered in my name, by removing and turning in the tags for such vehicles.
- cancel your cell-phone plan.
- decline to fund the completion of your education.
If you find these excessively onerous, I would urge you to leave our home, and await POSOM's release in eight years in other lodgings. I would hate having that BE YOUR CHOICE, but I cannot live with your carrying on an affair from our home BE YOUR CHOICE.
The good news is that these exclusions can all be retracted if:
- You are willing to hand-write a No-Contact Letter to POSOM for my approval and mailing.
- You accept Extraordinary Precautions to eliminate any possibility of future contact.
- you enthusiastically enter into, and stay with, the MB Recovery Plan."
There is absolutely no reason your boys should not know of this discussion, and even be present (again: consider the similarity of familially confronting an alcoholic).
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
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I am seeing the light, guys. Here's what I hope happens: I go home tonight, call all the boys in and tell them what he is to her and let them know what they have done. I am hoping that she will see their reaction and truly realize the impact and selfishness involved in her behavior.
Besides, I need their help to disrupt her communication. How did it go?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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