I did ask him to post here, time will tell if he does. I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of betrayel, he was unfaithful before we were married. I remember the nights away crying because he didn't want me. Finding another womens ID in our bed. That is what I don't understand, I always prided myself to being above that. I read all the stories here, and it makes me cry. The person who I love so much, I hurt that bad.

While you are still with POSOM you are continuing the pain. Please realize this.

They can mail you the title, leave OM for life right now, call your husband and tell him you're coming home now. Show him your committed right NOW.

You have already just about destroyed your M. It is in the ER on life support. It's pretty clear to me that you don't GET that if you think you can remain separated from your H for another three weeks.

Every day that you remain with the OM, you are pushing any chance for recovery further and further away. Don't fool yourself.

I don't buy the excuses. If you wanted to get home to your H and save your M, you would MAKE it happen. Nothing would be able to stop you.

In a HEALTHY marriage, an overnight separation is not good.

Three weeks when your M has already been devastated by an affair? Are you kidding me?

You need to put down the crackpipe (OM), get home to your H and come up with a different plan. The one you currently have isn't going to work.

While you may think most of us are only concerned about you continuing your A, but at this point I think I am more concerned about your H.

You realize he is at HIGH RISK for having his own A while you are separated, right?

Okay, so you financed a car loan on a car that would be in OM's name? And he is aware that you are now changing the title over to your name, right?

If the dealer is already in the process of changing the title over to you, it should be just a matter of having him send the Memorandum of Title to you when it has transferred. He can mail that anywhere. Give him your husband's address and then GO HOME.

Please answer mrEureka's questions:

EME,

You may never have really recovered from your H's cheating on you, and this may have to be addressed after you deal with your disaster.

All the same please do not say to your H that his affair caused your affair or that they cancel each other out, or one justified the other. What you did is all you and what he did is all him.

Especially do not try to downplay whatever activities you engaged in with OM as "not sex", tell it like it is and don't mince words.

God Bless
Gamma

Why can't you simply go home and deal with the car matter from there with your husband's help?

You're absolutely guaranteed to get divorced if you put your husband through another three weeks of infidelity.

He may well think it's doable - but its not. After another WEEK of knowing his wife is STILL with another man his emotions will collapse and he will simply decide he can't take the pain of being married to you any more.

Let's not forget that betrayed spouses are also always surrounded by a flock of opposite sex vultures who want to 'comfort' them.

So his having his own affair isn't impossible. You've discovered the hard way that anyone careless about their marriage is vulnerable to vultures.

When you get divorced, do you think paying the legal fees and supporting two households will be more or less than the cost of this car?

Here's the truth of the matter - no one escapes from infidelity without paying a heavy financial price. (Though the financial price is actually the least of it).

Take the Betrayed Spouse.

Betrayed spouses affected by affairs have had their money deceptively spent on the OP; on dates and weekend getaways they didn't enjoy (to put it mildly) but had to pay for.

They usually have to throw away or sell things used by the OP, such as cars, at a financial loss

Tonnes of BS's see their spouse lose their job due to workplace affairs. They haven't done anything wrong but they suddenly have to cope on one income.

Many families have to move across the country to safely remove themselves from the OP - a costly business.

Those of us who got divorced discovered that isn't cheap either. Even if you are the BS who never did anything wrong and never wanted a D.

So now you are discovering that affairs turn out badly and cost quite a lot of money when they do.

Welcome to reality.