Can you focus on a plan? If you can follow a plan there is a chance. You need to spend all of your focus on spying on him. Can you get access to his phone bill online?

Would your parents loan you the money to hire a PI? Is he a policeman?

Well I was spying.....confronted him.....texts stopped...then I found sticky...then all hell broke loose....then EVERYTHING STOPPED...and now here we go again. I am getting nowhere and am finding nothing on phone records. I do not have access to his vehicle, I do not have access to his office, I do not have access to his phone most of the time because he always has it and like I said he delets everything. Nothing on his email and he has a work one that I do not have access too. Parents probably would yes, but I have not told them about all of this and yes he is....well...he was and now probation officer.

I suspect that my H called OM wife. We did not discuss a lot of those things after the affair.

I was thinking of calling the girl in the other city my husband was speaking to a lot to see what her take of their relationship was.

Ok, go check out some good PIs and get some quotes for the cost to follow him for a couple of days. It usually doesn't take longer than a couple of days to get the goods.

Go get that information and come back here. Can you do that?

You don't ever confront a cheater until you have them dead to rights. You can see why, can't you?

I wouldn't worry about your affair right now. You can deal with that later.

Yep...I can absolutely see why. I did it way too soon, but that sticky blew me up!!! I will look into it and come back.

I thought someone asked me if I was exposed and yes I was. To family, friends, co workers, etc. I have not discussed my H behavior with anyone except close friends and close family members. H does not like it at all.

Do not jump the gun. Get solid evidence first, then expose to everyone possible all at once. Family, friends, WH's family, your family, WH's friends, OW family (if possible), WH's workplace. The whole idea is to get the A out in the open so WH can't have the element of secrecy anymore and so he can face the consequences of his actions.

I have exposed his emotional affair(s) to close family and friends and to his mother. He is FURIOUS....when I found the sticky note I contacted OW via text and told her to back off. She called me and I let her have it. She obviously was very nervous because she ran to her supervisor to tell him. The supervior in turn called my husband in his office. I got yelled at for that and for confronting OW. Then my husband wanted to switch offices at his work and they wouldn't let him because of the sticky note incident. Husband told me he asked OW if she had anything to do with it and guess what she said "well your wife should have thought about that before she yelled at me!' What does that mean and why is she acting like that if it was just friendship. I am sorry I am going on and on, it is just something is not right, he is not admitting and making me feel stupid and I just need someone to justify this for me or slap me to reality. Everyone I have asked finds something wrong with all of this except for him....they found the sticky note disturbing.

Is the OW married?

And have you got some quotes from some PIs?

co worker is married to someone else in the office.

girl in other city is not married.

I am getting them and my boss is helping me but the quotes I am getting are outrageous!!! Plus they think he is being extremely careful right now. we are all confused by this situation.

Which is why you need to get the goods. You did an exposure to people who got to hear the waywards spin on what the note �truly� meant. Waywards are the world�s best liars.

Stop telling us what you did and do exactly as these posters are telling you. Your methods haven�t worked. It is time to do something different.

And yes your H is having some form of an A. But to do anything about it you need hard evidence. Time to get busy doing that.

Call him up and tell him what you found.

Okay so I talked to several PI companies. Way too expensive. I need to research other avenues. On another note while I was waiting to pick up my daughter I decided to look for the cologne smell in H truck I have been smelling for months. Found a cologne after shave lotion and no clue where it came from, how long it's been there. Could be from innocent party. I also found a keychain still in package that is engraved with his name and a xo on it. This just puts me on the negative thinking track. He could be from the friends at his old job from forever ago or from anyone. I found a card under his seat when all this came down and etched it for months. He told me the card was for me. He brought the card inside but I can't find it now.

YES!!! Absolutely do ^^this^^! The OW's husband may have information that you do not. He certainly has more opportunities since he works in the same office. He may also have $$ for a PI -- Who knows? One thing is for sure though, he deserves at least the amount of information that you have, boo.

When will you call the OW's husband?

Mrs. W

Here is the problem. All I have are sunrise texts, lunch bills and sticky note. My main problem or what is odd to me is no
1 she ran to supervisor about note ( think she was covering her butt) and not my h which is weird, no2 she told him "your wife should have thought about that before she yelled at me" and 3 he needs that job. If I call her h then thy will cause a major problem at his workplace. I still have not spoke. To other girl in other city so I think I need to do that and then I need to figure out what to do about his work. Another off thing is I must have accidentally friended co worker on Facebook while snooping a long time ago and guess what...odd he didn't friend me! What is y'all take on all
If this. Am I crazy? Just jealous or is something off here?

So have you called her husband yet?

It is time to stop rambling on about what might be and do some things that will give you some hard facts.

- boo

Look, I know you are scared, confused, hurt, everything right now but inaction right now is putting your M further and further in jeopardy. When I found out about my WW's A, I was afraid to confront her, thought she would leave and was scared to rock the boat. Everybody always is, it is a typical BS reaction. But, what you have to think about is what exactly is the worst that will happen? H will get angry and throw a tantrm and maybe lose his job? Your M obviously isn't going very well right now so I don't think further damage can be done at this point honestly, so that's not something to fear. If your H gets angry and throws a tantrum its going to end exactly like when a child throws a tantrum; He will try to get his way and when he realizes he can't then he will accept what happened. If he loses the job, honestly thats probably best for your M in the long run instead of actually harming it. People have this strange resiliency about them and something tells me you will find a solution to the financial burden.