Okay, now I'm going to get a little hard on you.
Saying things like "I'll do it anyway" and "I'm not going to enjoy it" is not opening up your lovebank. You are setting yourself up for failure before you even start.

I know it's hard to believe that you can enjoy it, but you can. Focus on that goal. Start telling yourself "I'm going to start letting FTF meet my emotional needs. I will engage in conversation with him, even if it's awkward. I will do fun things with him, even if it's awkward."

Your feelings will follow IF you do this on a regular basis.

Are you feeling depressed at all? Are you on antidepressants?

I suggest you go ahead and shut your account down, then.

You don't need to be letting him touch you in ways you find repulsive. Find something the two of you can do together that you can find enjoyable.

Are you sure he's not committing Lovebusters? This doesn't sound like a lack of being interested, more like actively being turned off. Why? What is causing you to become more repulsed after a couple of weeks rather than more attracted? I think it's worthwhile to spend some thought on the answer to this question.

yes, but i'm not taking any meds

I need to do a better job of letting him know of when he commits LB but nowadays, they are so trivial it hardly seems worth bringing it up. For example, our 6 yr old went to play at a friends house. The 2 yr old was taking a bath when I left. We were going to put the kids to bed when I got back. When I walked in there was a naked baby standing in the middle of the living room dripping water all over the floor and he was playing a computer game with the head phones on. I was very upset but said nothing.

Sometimes it is the little things that add up to big things. Trivial or not, discuss them so that you do not have a lot of built-up resentment that explodes later on.

Oh, and the wet kid in the living room not ready for bed would bother me as well...especially if I had to clean it up.

FC, you've got to be radically honest about things that bother you. Here's why: if he's trying to deposit $100 and making a $2 withdrawal, that $2 withdrawal might not seem like much, might seem like not worth mentioning, but it's still going to prevent reaching the goal.

Let him know when he's being annoying. (Be respectful about it.)

So how do you open your LB to someone?

That is a very good question FC - personally I kind of feel that the phrase "open your lovebank" is a bit ambiguous - as are any phrases that focus on how you feel without concrete action.

I would say the answer is this: open your love bank by spending time with your husband coaching him to meet your emotional needs. Since family commitment is high on your list (last I checked - correct me if I'm wrong) insist on spending 15 hours together each week as a family with him being the best father he can be, giving him feedback as to where he needs to improve. To that, add the intimate emotional needs (even if you don't currently perceive them as being highly needed) - don't permit him to engage in behavior that bothers you, give him feedback about anything he does that you don't like or anything that he does that you do like.

Remember that question I asked about how you would spend enjoyable time with your friends? Try to get your time together with him slanted to be like that as much as possible. Even if you don't enjoy it with him at first or it is awkward, over time you will learn to recognize what (if anything) needs to change on his part to make it enjoyable for you.

Policy of Radical Honesty
Policy of Undivided Attention
A marriage of extraordinary care

Also, become integrated with him on a daily basis - get into each part of his life and bring him into yours. Talk to each other during the day (Prisca and I text, IM, and email all day long when we are apart). Get him to be affectionate to you several times throughout the day as well, in ways that you like (for some women that might be just the thoughtfulness of a phone call to see how she is doing, for example).

FC, let me ask - have you listened to Dr. Harley's radio show on any kind of regular basis? You might find some insight there as far as what kind of feedback your husband needs in order to become your best friend, integrated into your life.

This is great info, Markos, and much appreciated.

Ftf and I talked this am about me keeping a ntbk of things that bothered me so that we could discuss it on a weekly basis.

I also like the phone call idea and will bring that up to him.

What do you think about this?

It might be a good idea for you to go see your doctor and get him to prescribe an antidepressant for a short time.

I deleted it this morning actually

yeah that's not a bad idea

Awesome!

That is GREAT!

Color me impressed, FC -- Way to go! How did FTF respond when you told him?

Mrs. W

I keep forgetting to tell him! I should send him a text right now before I forget.