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Yes I m remorseful I still would confess 2 wife if I knew I wouldn't get caught its radical honesty & I was stupid.
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"total transparency?" What is that supposed to mean? Were you transparent when you used someone's phone to call your girlfriend?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Thats why I feel so stupid I also ended contacting ow on my own after the realization. You didn't end contact though. You just contacted her to warn her about the exposure. And I would like to know what your sleazy girlfriend told her family about those letters? How did she spin this to them?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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No I wasn't transparent that's why Im here & admit 2 stupidity,transparent in phone pass words e-mails etc.
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Yes I m remorseful I still would confess 2 wife if I knew I wouldn't get caught its radical honesty & I was stupid. I'm sorry but if you had radical honesty in the first place your A never would have taken place.
FWW, 36
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I don't think u r a dumb women. when I was referring 2 changes I made Alot had 2 do with myself & how I was treating my wife.I do realize what I did 2 my wife & how serious this is that's why I'm here asking 4 so help/guidance. I have just finished reading your BW's entire thread. I have to say, this is about as cruel as it gets. And I am very worried for your BW's long term health and well-being after what she has endured. Do you realize how devastating an affair is to a BS? Never mind a LONG TERM affair??? Dr Harley recommends a BW goes into a separation after a couple of weeks of an active affair because she can experience long term problems with her immune system due to the stress. You did this to her for 13 YEARS and then you tricked her into a false recovery for MONTHS. To add insult to injury, while your BW is on the ground bleeding from her injuries YOU INFLICTED on her, you walked right up to her and stabbed her again - by calling the OW. At this moment, there isn't much I don't think you would do to protect this POSOW at the expense of your wife's suffering. You haven't said ANYTHING that leads me to believe you would actually put her first before this POSOW that cares nothing for your family. My heart is broken for your BW. And I am more concerned about her health than your M at this point.
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U R right I broke the nc rule & 4 no reason that's totally unacceptable I owning up 2 my stupidity & would like so guidance as where do I go from here other than the obvious
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Yes I know I just learned radical honest recently.
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No I wasn't transparent that's why Im here & admit 2 stupidity,transparent in phone pass words e-mails etc. No, no, no, you were not "stupid," you were shrewd and sneaky. There is nothing stupid here.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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What did your creepy girlfriend tell her family about your wife's exposure letters? Be honest, please.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Yes I agree Ive made many mistakes I am truly remorseful I really want things 2 go well 4 us, So Im here looking 4 some guidance on what 2 do nxt.This is suppose 2 be a marriage builder site?
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What did your creepy girlfriend tell her family about your wife's exposure letters? Be honest, please. You haven't answered this question yet?
FWW, 36
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I don't know, I did not speak 2 her I only left a message of her getting exposed.On a voice mail
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Yes I agree Ive made many mistakes I am truly remorseful I really want things 2 go well 4 us, So Im here looking 4 some guidance on what 2 do nxt.This is suppose 2 be a marriage builder site? Yes, and we build marriages here by being HONEST. Not by pretending to be "dumb" and "stupid" when we are really wily as an old fox. And not by proclaiming to have "changed" when your victim is on the floor bleeding to death from your knifing. Crying crocodile tears of fake "remorse" will not suffice. What will work is some HONESTY coupled with ACTIONS. Talk is cheap around here so we need to see some action. What will stop you from going to work tomorrow and calling your girlfriend on someone's cell phone? And I will ask again, what story did your girlfriend tell her family about the exposure letters?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Not wanting 2 play any games this is very serious. I agree with honesty & actions. But I have made many changes. Wearing a voice activated recorder is a start as far as going 2 work.Don't know what x-girlfriend told her family i didn't speak 2 her & I'm not going 2.
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But I have made many changes. What did you "change?" Your socks? Because you sure didn't "change" your sneaky, cruel behavior. You just contacted the OW so excuse us if those "changes" are not very credible. You have been in touch with her the whole time. You lied to your wife about ending contact, wrote out a lying no contact letter, and then went behind her back and contacted the OW.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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DM,
First, I wanna tell you straight-up: I'm not a better man than you. I just got caught earlier than you did. So don't think I'm talking down at ya.
It took a while for lots of things to sink in for me, to the point where I could understand some things the way they felt to my wife (as opposed to the way they felt to me).
Something I learned more slowly than I should've is, one thing about getting your marriage past an affair is that your wife wants to feel like the other woman is as good as gone from the galaxy. And gone from your thoughts.
Almost nothing is as scary to her, or to any betrayed spouse, as the division of loyalties that became apparent when you called the OW to warn her about exposure.
The marriage can't heal until that bifurcation of loyalties no longer exists.
Why'd you do it? Why'd you make that call?
Me: FWH, 50
My BW: Trust_Will_Come, 52, tall, beautiful & heart of gold
DD23, DS19
EA-then-PA Oct'08-Jan'09
Broke it off & confessed to BW (after OW's H found out) Jan.7 2009
Married 25 years & counting.
Grateful for forgiveness. Working to be a better husband.
"I wear the chain I forged in life... I made it link by link, and yard by yard" ~Jacob Marley's ghost, A Christmas Carol
"Do it again & you're out on your [bum]." ~My BW, Jan.7 2009
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Don't know what x-girlfriend told her family i didn't speak 2 her & I'm not going 2. Well, we don't know if you spoke to her, but we do know you cared enough to give her a heads up so she spun the story to her family. How about offering to write a letter admitting your affair [with your phone #] and sending that to her family members? That would compensate for the lies that skanky told her family about your wife.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Yes Ive made many stupid unacceptable mistakes yes I lied & I'm acknowledging them, earlier I wrote of the changes I made since d day maybe its not enough there's all ways room 4 more.Especially if the changes Ive made aren't good enough.
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By the way, it wasn't just a rhetorical question that I asked there; we need to get into this & get at your motives: Why'd you make that call, DM?
Me: FWH, 50
My BW: Trust_Will_Come, 52, tall, beautiful & heart of gold
DD23, DS19
EA-then-PA Oct'08-Jan'09
Broke it off & confessed to BW (after OW's H found out) Jan.7 2009
Married 25 years & counting.
Grateful for forgiveness. Working to be a better husband.
"I wear the chain I forged in life... I made it link by link, and yard by yard" ~Jacob Marley's ghost, A Christmas Carol
"Do it again & you're out on your [bum]." ~My BW, Jan.7 2009
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