replies coming i'm using my voice control

Melody Lane I am so sorry for my postings I was just bringing up that my wife thinks that I love the OW, I don't feel that way I want to fix my
relationship with my wife and I came on on the site to help me. I'm a little mistrusting about throwing my feelings on the floor. Dr harley says that it is possible to love two women. I am doing soul searching and I don't think that I love OW but why did I keep going back when I love my wife?

DM, the reason you went back to OW is because you are addicted to her. You "loved" her in the same way a crack head loves crack. Once you really cut her out of your life - sober up - you will see her in a different light.

yes u r rite I do agree with what U R saying. Yes that is an addiction ? she did make me feel comfortable and met my needs, I just wanted 2 ask that question as 2 what u r explanation is. look u want 2 know if im a real person & I also want 2 know if U R real person, I

U also follow up U R posts with scrips from the bible I honer that & I am catholic, I really need help in my relationship , I dont have anywhere 2 turn, I want U R help.

DM, you are in the right place to get the help you need. Your wife has also sent an email to Dr Harley and he will speak to you both and give you guidance.

The most important thing right now is to stay out of the crackhouse and stay far away from the smell of crack. Do you understand what I mean by that?

**edit**

yes I think I understand what U mean, I will stay out of the crackhouse & stay away from the smell & I really thank U 4 U R support.

Meiodylane thank u 4 being here 4 us!;)http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/images/icons/default/smile.gif

You are very welcome, my friend!

Hi, DM,

I understand you called your mother recently to confess your affair. I commend you for that. That is one of the most important steps in being an honorable person.

Dr. Harley's position is that it would be great if we had no privacy at all - if everything we did were on a camera and broadcasted to the important people in our life. Then we would be much less likely to engage in reprehensible behavior that hurts other people!

Since you mentioned the Bible, I'll mention what the Bible says about this:

This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.
Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed.
But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.

http://biblehub.com/john/3-19.htm
http://biblehub.com/john/3-20.htm
http://biblehub.com/john/3-21.htm

By shining the light of public attention onto your dishonorable deeds, you took one of the important steps toward transformation.

There is also this statement:
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
http://biblehub.com/james/5-16.htm

After my experience here at Marriage Builders, I'm extremely convinced of the importance of confessing one's wrongs - primarily to the person who was wronged! But also importantly to the important people in our life, those who have influence over us. Everybody should know to be on the lookout for us!

I heard your call on the show. Your making progress, I hope you see the error in your ways and fix the damage you caused your poor wife. Keep posting here and encourage her to as well.

THANK U 4 the bible verses Markos,they really helped to read them & thank u 4 such a positive response.

This week we went to a difffernt church and had bible study before mass. It really helped me to identify what I am going through.

I am having some thoughts about OW and its difficult to deal with but I believe that is what is withdrawal. I have confided in my wife with my thoughts and feelings. She has helped me immensely.

I am trying to pick up the pieces and make sense of what has happend.

We are reading together Surviving an Affair and it really helps me to put things in perspective as to what I am feeling and going through and putting my wife through. I wish we had these tools years ago before all of this started.

Trying to deal with my feelings can be very difficult because I feel bad about destroying two peoples lives and mine also.

I understand that I was compartmentalizing and now it feels odd that I cannot compartmentalize.

I am feeling guilty that I am having difficulty sharing these feelings with my wife, the feelings of guilt, the feelings of remorse, the feelings of disgust with myself.

it really helps 2 have a support group 2 communicate with, thank you.

Thank you for your support,I'm doing the best I can to support my spouse. My mistakes are hard to face. But through Marriage builders I am working hard to address be honest with myself.

Have you considered taking ADs while you are going through this? They can be immensely helpful by evening out your emotions. My H was on Wellbutrin with no ill side effects at all. They greatly helped. They need only be temporary - a few months.

Please strongly consider going to your doctor for a prescription. Meanwhile, exercise and eat healthy, get enough sleep.

Make sure the time you are spending with your wife are very enjoyable for both of you.

Here's your show.
Radio Clip of Blindsighted and Dumbman's Show
Segment #2
Segment #3

DM, can you clarify what you mean when you say you "destroyed two people's lives?" I know one is your wife, but I am not aware of any other victims here unless you are counting your children. Is the OW married?

I hope you don't mean the OW, because you did not destroy her life. She was your WILLING partner in the rape and assault of your wife. Don't you DARE put that skankhoe in the same category as your wife. Your OW signed up to screw a married man, she is no victim. Your wife did not sign up for this.

x2.

Whatever may have happened to POSOW due to exposure is a GOOD THING - it will help her realize that having an A has negative consequences and the accountablility hopefully will keep her from going after another innocent woman's H.

My sisters and I chased down my BIL's skanky OW and confronted her in a gas station parking lot. It wasn't pretty. As far as I am concerned we did her a service. She will probably think twice before sleeping with another woman's H again.

And, DM, I realize you are still de-fogging but you realize that when you make statements such as the one above, looking at the OW as a "victim" is incredibly disrespectful and painful to your BW, right?? It's the same as twisting the knife in her back.

My ex made a statements similar to yours, didn't want me confronting the OW and said something about putting the OW in an "awkward position".

Let me tell you, that was an incredible lovebuster. Your BW's patience for this type of foggy thinking is not going to last. So I hope you STOP it & fast.

thank you so much for posting our show. I am going to listen to it on my phone.