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The only hard evidence I have is an audio recording of my wife confessing to the affair. I was just going to play that to his wife if she called me back. Maybe I should just email the audio file to her? The OMW has probably not received any of your emails and that email was from the OM. That is why it is so important for you to contact the OP's spouse in person or on the phone. Waywards are notorious for intercepting emails, texts and phone calls. It is a good idea to just drive over there and knock on the door.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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It would be best to pack up WW's stuff and tell her she is leaving and the kids are staying with you in the home.
She will say she is not leaving but you tell her
"Your affair is causing me too much pain and you must go. The children will stay with me."
Round up a child care situation so that you can retain primary custody while you WW lives her independant life.
And, if you have a cell phone account, cancel hers,etc.
She is going to have to figure out how to live without you if she decides to continue her affair with another man. You have a responsibility to financially support your children and somewhat your wife but you do not have the responsibility to finance her affair.
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Joined: Oct 2013
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OP
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It would be best to pack up WW's stuff and tell her she is leaving and the kids are staying with you in the home.
She will say she is not leaving but you tell her
"Your affair is causing me too much pain and you must go. The children will stay with me." reading, I'm pretty sure if I did that, she'd just call the police to force me to let her back in the house. She'd even go as far as to break a window to get back in if she had to. She has a pretty violent temper. She's also denying that she's still talking to the OM... Thanks, Captain T
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It would be best to pack up WW's stuff and tell her she is leaving and the kids are staying with you in the home.
She will say she is not leaving but you tell her
"Your affair is causing me too much pain and you must go. The children will stay with me." reading, I'm pretty sure if I did that, she'd just call the police to force me to let her back in the house. She'd even go as far as to break a window to get back in if she had to. She has a pretty violent temper. She's also denying that she's still talking to the OM... Thanks, Captain T Go see the OMW asap!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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The OMW has probably not received any of your emails and that email was from the OM. That is why it is so important for you to contact the OP's spouse in person or on the phone. Waywards are notorious for intercepting emails, texts and phone calls. It is a good idea to just drive over there and knock on the door. I do know the OMW has received my emails, texts, voicemails etc, but I'm fairly certain she's in denial. I plan on just emailing her the evidence I have and maybe somehow try to see her in person. Either way, if my WW is still seeing the OM or not, if she's not on board with being transparent, I want to go to plan B. I just don't think there is going to be any way I can get her to move out, so that only leaves the option of me moving out.
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Joined: Apr 2001
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[
I do know the OMW has received my emails, texts, voicemails etc, but I'm fairly certain she's in denial. I plan on just emailing her the evidence I have and maybe somehow try to see her in person. How do you know this? Have you ever spoken to her?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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How do you know this? Have you ever spoken to her? Well, I guess I don't know 100%, but back when I found out about the affair, I immediately tried contacting her. During that time, my WW was still communicating with the OM. After we started Plan A, my WW told me the OMW got the emails, etc. but the OM convinced her I was lying. Plus, I have texted her numerous times when I knew the OMW was at work (away from the OM) and she would always immediately reply back to stop texting her. I will take your advice tho and try to talk to her in person. I'm just worried she will react badly when she see's me in person.
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ok gotcha, I would offer to give her proof of the affair. Approach her with the proof in hand.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I plan on reaching to the OMW in person soon to make absolutely sure she knows about the affair. I also plan on talking to my attorney this week about the legal ramifications of me moving out.
Not sure what my attorney will say, but I would really like to hear what your thoughts are on this. I know if we get a divorce I would have to pay child support, alimony, etc., but until then, can she legally force me to pay for anything if I move out?
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Yes, prior to a divorce being concluded, the courts can issue various temporary orders, such as Child Support, Maintenance/Alimony, and Child Custody terms. Often times, Temporary orders become the Status Quo and then become the permanent orders upon conclusion of the case, unless either party Motions for Modifications of the previous order for Just Cause.
LTL
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Yes, prior to a divorce being concluded, the courts can issue various temporary orders, such as Child Support, Maintenance/Alimony, and Child Custody terms. Often times, Temporary orders become the Status Quo and then become the permanent orders upon conclusion of the case, unless either party Motions for Modifications of the previous order for Just Cause.
LTL Please take this great advice on board. The actions you take now are very likely to become permanent. So do not move out, make your WW be the one to leave. Change the locks. Keep the children with you. You are in a great position to do this because she physically attacked you. Do you have a webcam? For $150 you can install a motion activated camera that will alert you anywhere if she tries to break into the house or attacks you.
3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)
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Why would you leave?
File, ask for exclusive use of the home (especially since you are the only one who can afford it), and force her out.
Stop worrying about where your WW will go. Not.your.problem.
Who cares if she's not happy about it? This is the risk she signed up for.
Stop appeasing her.
Making her leave will also cause her to lovebust the OM....bonus....
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It would be best to pack up WW's stuff and tell her she is leaving and the kids are staying with you in the home.
She will say she is not leaving but you tell her
"Your affair is causing me too much pain and you must go. The children will stay with me." reading, I'm pretty sure if I did that, she'd just call the police to force me to let her back in the house. She'd even go as far as to break a window to get back in if she had to. She has a pretty violent temper. She's also denying that she's still talking to the OM... Thanks, Captain T Sir, do NOT leave your home or children!
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