Part of the protection God offers to people whose husband or wife has been unfaithful is the blessing of separating. As I said, this gives the unfaithful spouse one last chance, or if they don't it saves the betrayed spouse from further pain.

You didn't take that, though. I don't believe that God would want you to refuse that blessing. Instead I believe He would want you to accept it with thanksgiving.

http://biblehub.com/1_timothy/4-4.htm

Intentionally subjecting ourselves to pain does not build faith or spirituality, and God never said that it did. You can build faith and spirituality by:

* Talking to God
* Listening to God (reading His words)
* Obeying God's commands
* Expressing thanksgiving for the blessings God has given you
* Worshiping God

None of these is supposed to involve intentionally going through unnecessary pain and suffering. In fact, the faith of people in a bad marriage usually suffers - people in a good marriage are much more likely, statistically, to believe in God than those who are not.

Two simple points to add to this discussion

1) In my opinion God helpes those who help themselves not those who sit back and expect him to do all the work. What exactly are you doing to help yourself and your marriage move forward a part from working on yourself? It takes two to make a marriage work one spouse CANT carry the marriage on their own, same way you can't love someone enough for the both of you.

2) Did you ever consider that God might have guided you to this site to get the advice you are being given?? Could it be a possibility that God told you to hold on to your marriage in order for you to find your way here and gain the skills to sort it out properly?? Dr Harley is a devout Christian and so are many of the forum members, no one here recovered by disregarding Gods will but they also did the hard work required.

I am disappointed when I read people mentioning their WS past childhoods or abuses and use them as a free pass to behave in a dispicable manner, there are plenty of people out there who have been molested as children, abused by parents and had a very rough start in life yet they don't have Affairs and go on to be beautifully decent members of society and don't hurt or lie to their spouses.

Stop looking at your WS like a victim, he's not a victim in any way.

The only proven reason why affairs happen is due to lack of boundaries and allowing other people to meet emotional needs.

What boundaries does your WH have in place now??