So, why are you depressed? Consider taking an antidepressant. This is keeping you from spending UA time with your wife. You sleep as soon as you get home during the week and do chores on the weekend. Where's the UA time?

My wife doesn't want to use it. I try very hard to spend time with her but she creates excuses to not. When we first started the program her main want was for me to be more helpful around the house and kids. Which I feel I have done a pretty good job at. She wants mr perfect and I am not that type of guy. I consider myself a simpleton

I do take medications. And the odds no UA time because she declines it.

You didn't have to change your screen name because your wife didn't "respect" your time on here. Don't blame her for your decision to change your screen name so we wouldn't be able to learn the backstory. Apparently, she disillusioned readers about the inaccuracies of your previous posts, and you viewed her truth telling as disrespect. That is very disturbing. Also, why did you choose the screen name "retiredguy" if you aren't retired? Either you deliberately chose a misleading screen name, or you were you lying when you claimed that you actually work full time. Which is it? And why did you refer to your wife as your "significant other"?

If you had genuinely turned your self around and become transparent, I'm sure you would have said that. Instead of writing "I turned myself around and became transparent," you repeatedly inserted the qualifier "I make every effort to...", suggesting you didn't actually do it, and that the sincerity of your "efforts" is a sensitive subject for you. Why is your wife saying you are no longer being transparent? If you genuinely "make every effort to be" a stellar husband, you would be a stellar husband. No one is sabatoging your "efforts" to be a stellar husband, so why aren't you? Your sentence about picking up the kids "damn near every day" reveals resentment/hostility regarding your parenting responsibilities. You wife said you have a mean attitude, and that meanness comes through in your writing.

Retired,
Sorry for misunderstanding, but the name retiredguy and your first post stating mainly household chores and in bed a lot implies being either unemployed or retired. Pretty obvious you are being vague, and in so doing there is not much to go on for anyone to help you.

Some tough questions need to be asked if you expect help: 1) sounds like any UA time with your W is minimal and/or fraught with arguments and conflict. How much pleasurable UA time do you guys really have per week? 2) Are either of you making any effort to meet each others' needs, and do you really know what they are? 3) Are either of you having a affair right now? 4) Do you guys ever sit down and talk about the problems and issues you're facing, or simply avoid any meaningful discussion? I say that because of your apparent dissatisfaction with your W seemingly focused so much on her work. When is the last time you two did anything together that you both really enjoyed - a dinner out, movie, walk together, etc.?

Tom