Better yet, burn it in a bonfire!

Ill pray for you.
Please remember you are in Plan A
NO disrespectful judgements or angry outbursts.
Communicate "I am willing to work with you to create a loving healthy marriage wherw both of our needs are met but you must first permanently separate from OM"

If she starts arguing or sometjing, offer her a cup of coffee and walk away.

Be like a broken record , because she is in the fog and you want this to sink down into her head

And if you can , try to get her to go out with you and do sometjing you both enjoy.
That way uou can fill the Love Bank!

(As a precaution, try to record the conversation since she has already said you are dangerous. There is always a possibility she is trying to set you up to get the house back)

CS,

No matter how ugly what she tells you is, remember that the ugliest truth is so much better than the best written lie.

God Bless
Gamma

Your absolutely right be because it got worst.... She revealed she has had sex with a co-worker twice so this is not the first time she has had an affair. This is ridiculous and she just revealed to me that she was talking to other guys and had recently stopped. I am glad she didn't come back in the house. She said her co-worker was a jerk and she did oral and anal with the other guy and didn't like anal. This is just getting to be the worst and worst. She said the other guy was a jerk and I am pretty sure they hAd sex at the place she works. Then she said she went back to the other guy and had sex in our bed.... This had to be over a two year period now... Because the other guy doesn't work there anymore and hasn't for about a year.

I still followed plan A to the T. I apologized for my porn use and said I still want to be with her and all and she got all googly eyed with me.

I took her out to dinner at the restaurant we met each other where we use to work. I almost basically took the blame for her affairs and she took no responsibility or showed any remorse. And to make matters worst we talked about something's such we her leaving her job if she wants to get back together and she said that she couldn't incase we get back together and I retaliated.

What do I do when my love bank is dwindling?

CS,

Very sorry for the horrible news.

At least she isn't currently pregnant, however I would get DNA tests for your children.

Especially now do not have sex with your WW anal sex puts a person at a very high risk for AIDS!

All of these fact have to be known before your marriage has any chance of survival, so while this is painful it's a bit like bitter medicine which is necessary.

Long term if you stay together your WW needs to take a polygraph.

God Bless
Gamma

She got tested for AIDS but she definitely should get tested again. This is such a horrible way to end my night. Just came back from IC and it went well. She said it came back negative...

Given all that has come out... should I continue Plan A?

Another question, should I sell any gifts she gave me the last two years or is that taking it too far? I feel like those gifts have no meaning now and I should just get rid of them.

Yes, please do make sure to have her get retested in a few months -- for all we know, she could have HIV now and it's early enough in the infection that the test could have been a false negative.

Have you had SF with her at any point when she was having SF with the OMs? If so it's probably a good idea to get tested yourself.

When your love bank is low balance you enter plan B to preserve the low balance and "freeze" the account

If you want to try to save your marriage and have a wonderful post affair marriage continue plan a.

If you desire divorce, then discontinue

The window period with current sensitive HIV-tests is very short (ca. two weeks) If she tested negative, she probably is, but to be on the very safe side test again three months after last contact.
Because there are other STDs she shoud get retested anyway and get the full work-up.

You stayed collected and I highly applaud you for that. Is your wife willing to give up working there?

She doesn't want to give up working there because she has no college degree or anything of the sort and is afraid that if something happens she will have no means to provide.

Giving all that has come out, now I have to ask myself, what do I have to offer her?

Edit: At this point in our Marriage, what should I be expecting from her?

She has no boundaries.
There is possibly more affairs that you still don't know about.
She is a serial cheater.
However if she was willing to follow MB rules you could still have a great marriage.

There was a poster named jah whose wife was a serial cheater and they are doi ng great now

Thank you Jedi. Your may be blunt and brutal but at least you tell to me it straight...

I feel somewhat encourage and somewhat borderline ready to drop out.

Think I just dropped a bomb. I am doing Plan A and telling my wife that I am avoiding this woman at work and keeping her informed. Called her to just check on her. I then text-ed her and apologized and said everything is my fault...

Watching this video on how my sexual addiction made her feel and then seeing how I treated her afterwards, no wonder she had an multiple affairs, and she disconnected from me. I am a wretched person... I still love her and I basically made her into this.

I lied, I hid the truth from her for so long and then I tried to speed up her recovery and I wasn't there for her when I was the one who stabbed her in the back. I picked her up instead of removing the knife and bandaging the wounds. I didn't give her the love she needed, she deserved...

I am going to stick in the marriage because she stuck by me during my Sinful Nature and wanted to help me. I want to help her and give her what she deserves...that's love...

It's hard because I know she doesn't love me, no longer and that again is my fault... I pushed her away.