She did admit she hasn't contacted him, even though there has not been a no contact letter sent... I am going to wait a bit to say anything about that. Going to concentrate on PLAN A. That would probably withdrawal from the love bank.

I decided to be open and honest and tell her and the counselor of the woman at work and now she is jealous. I told her she compliments me and all this other stuff and now she is jealous.

When I took her back to her parents house she sat in my lap and got hot and heavy with me. No sex this time, and I just tried to be affectionate. I went to her job and put a note I written in the van.

Could she be lying yes, but I have to stick to the plan. I truly honestly feel like this is good despite what everyone is saying.

The counselor even told her she needs to choose reconciliation because that is what God wants. I expressed how I felt manipulated right now because she is not choosing to reconcile because doing Plan A has built up all these emotions towards her and then if she says she wants a divorce she will then I will feel hurt probably even more.

Also, we went out to dinner and she asked me is there anything that she can say that might make me leave her.

I said if she doesn't tell me the truth and completely honest.

She said she understood that but she was referring to my questions about the affair.

I asked her why and she said that she is afraid of losing me. Now I feel I have control of this.

Any time the affair is brought is brought up you should say;
I am willing to work with you to create a loving healthy marriage but you must end your affair and agree to never see or speak to your affair partner again"

In Plan A you struggle to meet her needs while opposing the affair.
You have the right to demand she end it

She hasn't done a no contact letter but it is pretty much dead from my understanding.

If its dead she will have no problem writing the No Contact letter.
You need to insist on this.
Recovery should be as specified in Surviving an Affair and not the counselors own plan or your wayward wifes plan.
She must agree to never see or speak to the man again. Since he is a relative thhat means no family functions where he is present or where is picture is even displayed

She must also agree to remove all conditions which made her affair possible.

I agree with it, but for some reason she is not responding to my texts or phone calls.

I don't know how you feel about this but I reached out to the OMW and we are going to talk about the situation today.

Good idea. She may have info you don't have and vice versa.

That's what I was thinking. Not going to tell me wife though.

Dr Harley would support this.
He encourages betrayed spouses discussing affairs to get the full info.
Just make sure you keep your boundaries high.
Also please refer her to this website for help

So she didn't really have any information to share and apparently she was kept in the dark about a lot more than I was.

Yesterday, Thanksgiving, we went to her grandparents. In the ride up there she out of the blue drops on me that she is going to a concert with a female friend of her on Dec 13th.

Didn't ask if it was ok, just said she was going. Also, I been struggling with this whole though of being with her as of late. The reason is because she has not done anything to earn my trust. But she keeps trying to investigate me now since I told her about this woman at work.

Edit:
But I assure her nothing will happen because I have boundaries in place.

Another question, we were watching tv together and a commercial came on about a ring from Jared.

Would it be advisable to make a huge purchase when doing Plan A like this?

Also, if she decides she doesn't want to be with me, doesn't Plan A have the possibility of causing me to feel even more pain?

Just thought I ask.

This has to be ridiculous. My wife feels like I am going to kill her or may kill her if she moves back in. I am trying to re-assure her that I wouldn't.

I have been known to give dirty looks but I have not ever implied except on DDay and I apologized for that. Now she is acting like the victim because of that comment.

Is this a gaslight technique or is this a valid feeling she should have?

Do you know if she is still involved with OM?

I would not ask her to move back in until she is willing to write a no contact letter to OM.
Let the in law preacher deal with her ongoing adultery.

As far as I know she is not. She say's she is not.

You know what, after the conversation we just had where she said she is concerned about pornography and if I am going to kill her and all this junk. I agree. I think we shouldn't go away together either now as well.

I would encourage a vacation together

Ok...the MC encouraged it too...