Have you seen this?

Three Affairs-Is it time to quit? jah's thread

Really? Was she a white unspoiled virgin that you corrupted and turned into the office slut?
I'm not excusing your behavior but her behavior is just as bad.....

And maybe that's why she was attracted to you?
Maybe she's attracted to filth because she feel more comfortable with it?

Irregardless of what happened in the past, you can still have a great marriage if you are both willing to radically transform your lives and follow thw recovery program in SAA.

I encourage you to read jah's thread

Oh, if the man in the office is married Harley would encourage you to expose to his wife also.
And also expose her multiple affairs to her parents and the employer.

I read this one and another. They are filled with a lot of hope for me.

I am reading it and I still reading SAA & HNHN. You got a point. When I told her I was a horrible father and husband she said I wasn't horrible.

He's not married and no longer works there. He left years ago and she no longer talks to him. We are an interracial couple, she's white and I am black and this guy she was messing with apparently hates black people and thinks blacks should be with blacks and whites with whites and said he was a jerk. Why, I have no idea besides that he was talking to her...

the issue with the workplace is similar to an alcoholic in a bar: in recovery all conditions which made the affair possible must be removed. So in the case of your wifeshe can props no longer workoutside of the homejust as an alcoholic can no longer go to a bar

I agree but she is not committed at this point. She thinks I am going to kill her... she has totally manipulated what I said and feeling and made her self the victim in that regards.

But I am not going to let her back in the house until I feel safe.

She doesn't think you want to kill her that's an excuse. My WW did the same thing, she doesn't want to live with herself because of what she has done to you. Does she have a history of suicide attempts? She is self loathing at this point and is begging for some positive attention from you. Are you in Plan A? What have to done to clean up your side of the street?

I am in plan A. I have installed accountability software on everything and I am in a men's accountability group and I joined an anger management group and I told her of the other woman at my job who i thought was coming on to me. She has not had suicide thoughts.

I agree that her fear of you killing her is her trying to play the victim card and take the attention off of her affair.

How long have you been in recovery for your porn? Good job on staying in a program and walking the walk with your addiction.

How long have you been in your anger management program?

Does DD3 live with you?

I been sober since May19, 2010.
I haven't started anger management yet. I start next Tuesday.

So listen to this. Our MC said that we should go away together but we should do forgiveness of each others sins against one another and we should be moving towards reconciliation.

So I say to her: What do you want to accomplish by being together on the trip?

WW: Want to accomplish are we going to stay together or not?

BH: How are you feeling right now about staying together or not right now?

WW: I'm sure I'll let you know soon.

BH: Before we go or when we go?

WW: Don't Know.

This whole thing smells. You want to go away together to see if you have feelings or not but you don't know when you will tell me. Who would go away with somebody and say, lets get a divorce???

I found this website where you can post people who had wrecked your marriage. Should I post the other man. It's called **EDIT**. Or should I let this go?

Yes, post it
However the only people that look at those sites are betrayed spouses.

Have you read lovebusters honestly it's the best anger management I ever had.

I haven't read it yet but I will, next on my list to get and do.

I will wait. I will have to be force to post the whole story and I make even have to post my WW pic on the cheaters women site.

quote from "Surviving an Affair:"

You may think that after a spouse willfully chooses a lover (over the betrayed spouse), there would be no hope for marital reconciliation, but that's not true. While there is no hope for reconciliation when the affair is underway, as soon as the affair is ended, reconciliation is definitely possible.

And almost all affairs end sooner than most people think they will.But for the betrayed spouse, waiting for the affair to end seems like an eternity. The wayward spouse can't seem to make up his or her mind -- one moment committing to the marriage and the next moment committing to the lover.

To help a betrayed spouse survive that painful period of vacillation -- the time it takes for an affair to die a natural death -- I recommend two plans. If the first plan (plan A) is unsuccessful in separating the wayward spouse from the lover, the second plan (plan B) is followed until the affair is ended. This sequence -- plan A followed by plan B -- represents the most sensible approach to handling a wayward spouse's inability to decide between the lover and the betrayed spouse.


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She is in the fog and vaccilating between you and the om.
Now you are shooting yourself in the foot by arguing about yhe vacation.
In plan A the goal is to make love bank deposits and vacation is ghe perfect time to do so! Build up the love bank!