She is a principal? So is she this man's boss then?

Your marriage cannot survive them working at the same job. She will need to find employment elsewhere, if he does not leave.

Stop letting her dictate the terms of what happens here, take charge.

Then she won't mind if you personally contact the superintendent and inform her of the facts. [without forewarning, of course] I would expose the affair to their director of personnel additionally.

Is your wife the boss of the OM?

You should demand that your wife leave the job. Being "professional" is really cute but your marriage will NEVER recover if they work at the same place. Do you realize this? That is like the alcoholic changing the name of his drinks to "business drinks" and then proclaiming his sobriety while he sits in the bar and drinks. That is all your wife is doing by maintaining that job.

And I predict she won't want to quit because she doesn't want to end her affair. She can carry on her affair in peace forever as long as she works with her OM.

CO, you can't ignore these steps if you want to save your marriage.

You have a very small window of opportunity to save your marriage that will never be here again. Each step you skip reduces your chances dramatically until all opportunity is gone. The longer your wife carries on her affair in secrecy, with you knowing, the more entrenched it becomes.

Do you want this to be the status quo? Because that is what you will get with inaction and passivity. No one saves a marriage by being complacent.

Please start taking action NOW. Your chances are dwindling as every hour passes.

Cap'n:

Your wife has to leave that job. I know it will be massively inconvenient for you, but it won't work otherwise.

I know what I am talking about here. We tried it when I discovered my husband's affair. He said it would take a few months to get a transfer. Well, it took 5 months, because my WH was dragging his feet, and, of course, the A continued throughout. So it was even MORE entrenched by the time I made the discovery after false recovery. Believe me, you don't want to have a false recovery...

So, your wife doesn't get to have a say. Give her 4 weeks to get out of that job. At the same time, expose to her superiors. Do not threaten her with exposure. Just do it.

Yes a principal and the affair partner works at school board office. He reported the affair to the superintendent once I knew because he is afraid of me. The superintendent is a huge christian , and said he couldn't judge their sins and had no intention of any disciplinary action since they were both principals (same level of job). He went on to say that he thought God might be working because my wife's ap was an atheist but he asked the superintendent to pray for him.

Long in short I'm a mess and I know I should tell her dad but she said I was 'bullying her"

She said the affair is over but I have no way of knowing.

I want to thank you all for your input and going to try to expose this with her parents .

I realize i do not want this but all of this sounds like i really need to think about stepping off of this rollercoaster and getting myself back on solid ground

The proper way to expose this would be to write a letter to the School Board and send a copy to the Super. Send certified mail

It sounds like the super is not following protocol.
Or your wife is just lying to you.
He is allowing religion to dictate his actions.
Send the letter to the school board and also send a copy to the State Dept of Education just for the effect

Capt, I would expose the affair to the school board and the human resource department in addition to demanding that your wife quit her job. She cannot ever have any contact with the OM again.

Please read the instructions on my exposure thread and get this affair exposed to everyone. Start with her parents and then move onto your children, family, close friends and all the OMs family. You should be able to find them on Facebook.

Please get this all done today. Your window of opportunity to kill the affair is closing by e hour. Please don't waste anymore time.

"know I should tell her dad but she said I was 'bullying her"

Go tell her parents NOW. Stop discussing it with her and expose the affair. Go expose and tell her after you have exposed.

That is wonderful. Perhaps the school board and the hr director will feel the same. God does believe in exposure so the superintendent should be happy with your exposure.

Ephesians 5:11 Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.

What a mess. First I went to leave the house for a few days . My 12 year old saw and lost it hugged me begging me not to leave. It broke my heart even more to see this.

At this point I decided I would tell her parents which I have. My wife is furious and mad at me for this and for troubling my two girls when I tried leaving.

In front of her parents she could only say she did not know what she wanted ( make it work or not). I told her parents that I didn't want to waste 19 years of marriage and wanted this marriage to work. But as her parents pressed her she only said she didn't know if she wanted to make it work. Should I just file for divorce on Monday? I don't want to be dragged along with someone who has had an affair and not willing to move forward. She told her parents that she had no interest in the affair partner anymore.

I love my wife still and my two girls. I'm devastated to think of a world without those two girls.

One sad guy is me.

You need to kill the affair to save your marriage.
Expose to the school board Monday

Oh and DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOME.

CA, do you want to save your marriage? If you can put aside your emotions and follow a plan we can help you, but it doesn't seem like you are listening to a word we are saying. We cannot help you if you refuse to follow the advice.

Why in the world would you leave your home??

Don't leave your home or your children. Due to their selfish and irrational behaviour waywards do not make good parents. Your children need the the stability of one sane parent ...thats you.

She left with the kids

When?