Earlier this year I would jot a note in a notebook about items we had discussed previously. So one example would be, "Meetings not on calendar as previously agreed." He then said he would feel better about it if I phrased complaints in the form of an I feel statement. The majority were topics we had previously discussed so he knows how I feel about them but I agreed and have been doing that since then.

A verbal example from this last week would be when he left trash where the dogs would get it. I said, "Would you mind picking up the paper towel so the dogs do not eat it?"

A written example from this month would be,

"I feel let down when you don't do what we discussed - find car key and get a spare." His response on 12/05 was "I'll look for the car key this weekend. Ordered spare - I'll follow-up on whether that happened."
He did not look for the missing key (may have been missing a year, I have lost track) and has made no mention of the one that he stated was ordered and it will be two weeks tomorrow. This topic has been a problem since we were married. About 10 years ago I put a basket by the front door so all keys could be placed there and we could fix this issue. He still does not use it and will do things like this AM where he tried to walk out of the house with the only keys to the car he was not driving today. Why do you take keys to a vehicle you are not driving? This would have left me without transportation (we live in a rural area) if he had walked out with them.

On more than one occasion he has left for the weekend and taken the keys to my part-time job with him so I had to call my boss and track down a spare. Very humiliating.

About 2 months ago he lost the only key to the car again and I had to walk a quarter of a mile in the rain to my Great Aunt's house to take her to an appointment and then walk a quarter of a mile home in the rain. Again I had to explain why it all happened. These are not isolated incidences. Stuff like this happens all the time.

I blew it this AM. The cat projectile vomited in the bathroom after over eating. He made a "sympathetic" comment about it and walked away (he cleans up animal messes only when they are an immediate inconvenience to him). The comment came across as a sarcastic remark and I responded in kind with a DJ. He then got crabby and muttered something about empathy for the person cleaning it up. I should have just let it go and cleaned it up myself but the words were coming out before I could stop them.

The day continues to get better. He just called from his work phone to tell me that he accepted a phone update that would require his phone to restart. This of course would shut off the tracking on the phone. He said it just happened but then when he went into the tracking it stopped at 1 hr 57 min and mine was at 2 hrs 34 min. So for the 3rd time in 2 weeks more unaccounted for time.