Jedi or anyone,
I was reading My Story - I am the WW and I see now, what you mean, follow the plan and follow it to the T.

I am going to write my wife an email, stating the things from the Checklist of ending the affair. Is that good. I want to do PLAN A the best I can.

Also, can I see the links to successful Plan A's.

Also, the 16th is our anniversary. Should I get her a gift?

Part of exposure, I am questioning of doing is my WW job. The first OP is no longer there and she has not communicated with him since she had this long term relationship. She also started her own bank account and is depositing money into there...which she says she will use for us if we get back together for a vacation as a family...

I read that you have to be careful with exposure to the Job. What do you think?

I found the call log... I got my evidence. Time for the trip to attorney and get plans ready. I haven't heard from her all day.

I made a request of text messages she has had and call log and request them to be notarized and mail to the house. 10 business days... just in time for Christmas.

Is the recent OM at her work?

Have you exposed at all? You don't want to do trickle exposure.

So what's your plan?

No, he is not.
Her family knows, my family, church and OMW knows.

To either write her a letter stating that I am willing to meet her needs if ends all her affairs. I don't trust her and I am snooping now to find out if there are others going on.

Request that she writes a NC Letter and enter recovery as well. That she basically does what's on the SAA checklist.

If Not PLAN B!

Dr. Harley recommends a BH to Plan A for 6 months to 2 years.

Can you do that?

Who else on OM's side, besides his BW did you expose to?
His parents? Siblings?

If this wasn't a workplace affair then you shouldn't expose it to her work. Dr. H only recommends workplace exposure when there's a workplace affair.

Another good show of a H Plan A'ing from afar, but keep in mind they don't think she's still involved with OM.

Tell us what you think.
Radio clip of Plan A'ing from afar
Segment #2
Segment #3

6months, yes... 2 years... no way. That's just too long. I already have it marked at the 6 month mark, I go to Plan B.

I didn't expose, but my father in law called the OM's church, and his job has been exposed and so forth.

What about OM's family?

His father, is dead, mother is a vegetable, sister is dead.

Did you get a chance to listen to these?

What did you think?

So then the affair is exposed, correct?

I would concentrate on your Plan A and making LB deposits and avoid all Love Busters.

This woman is becoming impossible. She thinks I am still going to kill her...

I have to re-listen, because I don't think I am getting a good idea of Plan A form this. I keep re-listening.

1. I think I need to see PLAN A written example that is easy to follow. Any good ones out there.

2. What am I supposed to do when the WW is doing the Love Busters and is not given me a change to really do plan A?

http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1659680#Post1659680

Found this... this will help... technically, I shouldn't be meeting WW needs should I during Plan A?

But what if the affair is over but she is not sure she wants to reconcile and she feels like I am going to kill her? What then, PLAN A still/ begin Plan B?

Should this actually be in the recovery board since the affair is over or should I start the recovery board once she agrees? Because she hasn't agree completed I should assume the affair is going on. I do have access to the phone records.

GOT IT!
Do's
1. Act Happy
2. Get a life (new activities, etc.)
3. repeat over and over..."I will make it"
4. Actively LISTEN....keep conversations "to the point...small talk" ...don't blow it up beyond the waywards current comfort zone and/or ability to logically carry on a conversation. Their mind is elsewhere so you are just trying to keep them in the present.
5. Tend to Agree (Thank you for your truthfulness, It seems that way, you have a point)
6. Expand your social relationships (Being especially aware of your own vulnerability and keeping sharing and time with opposite sex relationships to an absolute minimum)
7. Get sexy (gym, new clothes, new cologne, shower gel, etc)
8. Focus on your strengths and Positives...don't put yourself down verbally or constantly go over what you did wrong
9. Accept Uncertainty (Do your best today and let God take care of tomorrow)

DON'Ts

1. Repeatedly say "I love you"
2. Ask questions that don't have answers yet
3. Criticize, complain, whine or nag
4. Say, "I've changed"....allow the wayward spouse to simply judge your actions
5. Argue, Reason or Plead
6. Don't get family or friends overly involved in recovery (notice I said "in recovery", EXPOSURE to bust up an active affair IS ESSENTIAL and EXPOSURE to the OP's spouse is an absolute MUST)
7. Act helpless or depressed (it may be hard to imagine this but YOU will make it regardless whereas without you, your spouse won't)
8. Discuss morality, invoke God or Dr. Laura type babble
9. Suggest marital counseling (must be the waywards idea and is usually a waste of time anyway unless it's with the Harley's or a counselor that uses MB materials)
10. Tell them continually "we need to work on the relationship"
11. GIVE UP