Have you seen this?
Plan A Dr. Harley doesn't want us to perceive "the stick" part as punishment, but holding the WS accountable.

Also, this.
What are Plan A and Plan B?

I read both of those. I have the one bookmarked. I am understanding Plan A much better.

Today I am going to go spend time with my daughter.

The affair isn't over.

I got caught snooping. I called one of the numbers on the call log from the phone records... I assume this a major love withdrawal. It was my wife's gay co-worker. She answered the phone with her at the party...oh boy.

Your WW answered the phone?

Did you do a reverse phone look up before you called? Did you block your number when you called? Did you say anything when the phone was answered?

My wife sitting right next to her and another call came in on another phone...it was my WW. I spoke.

You say "I will do whatever it takes to protect my marriage".

So the person whose number you called is a female?

My wife accused me of lying because I also created a Facebook page to apt on her and I friended men and women from school. I removed all women and deactivated the account.

She asked if I had any female friends on there and I only had some older lady like grandmother but i friended some later and asked some to be friends.... I see that was wrong and so I told her I was sorry and that was inconsiderate of me and I removed them and deleted the account. It appears now that she seems indifferent towards me because of this. She said this is a sign that you haven't changed and your still lying to me and I am do e with the lying stuff. I gave her the password to the account so she can see I am being transparent open and honest and I confessed I used it to just see what she was doing.

When did you make this account?

I made this account years ago but I reactivated it to spy a few days ago.

Listen, spying on your wife isn't bad.
I wouldn't worry about it too much.
The fact is, she has an ongoing 2 yr affair with a relative;
And office romances where she has confessed to having various sex acts with.

There are probably a lot more you dont know about.
In fact, its possible shes having an affair with this gay coworker.

Just keep plan A. Dont worry about being caught

I am going to continue with Plan A. I might bump it up to a year though.

I hope my wife is not engage in lesbian activity...that might be too much.

Should I do this, or no?

This is the letter I drafted.
WW,
I know our marriage has had a lot of ups and downs and now we are in a situation that is just unbelievable. I know you are going through a tough time and have a lot on your mind. This whole situation has caused a lot of pain on our families, our church and most important our daughter. I know things do not look hopeful but I am open to working on this marriage and making it better and healthier than what it has been.


With that said, your affair(s) have caused me much pain. I reflect upon the good times that we did have and I have to question if those were real or not. The affair you said lasted two years but I go back to when the 1st time you told me and it is like it has not ended, so it felt like it lasted 3 years.

I still love you and I am willing to forgive rather you wish to be in the marriage or not but If you are willing to reconcile I am asking for the following if there is to be any reconciliation to improve this marriage.
�End all/any affair that is going on now
�No Contact Letter sent to OM and any other person
�Quit your current job and find a new job with different hours or stay home
�Transparency and accountability to all devices, phone, email, FaceBook
�You go to individual counseling and get a female mentor/advisor
�You stop associating with certain friends (named in letter).

I wouldn't write a plan a letter.
It won't do any good as long as the affair is ongoing.
I would just continue plan a.

If you prefer you can email Dr Harley and ask him for his advice

I will take your advice. I will save it for later. On to plan A.

2 things.
1. I just HACKED OM's FACEBOOK ACCOUNT!!! Now what? Say's I have to wait 23 hours and 59 minutes.

• What should I do if I find out my WW has still been contacting him through it?
• What should I do with the account after I search through it?

2. December 16th was our 7th anniversary this year. I invited her over the house, she has been staying with her parents. I played some songs that we liked and danced with her, and gave her a ring and a card. We ended up having sex for an hour and half and then went out to eat.

Print all messages.
Dont do anything with it.

Ok. I will.