You might also consider making copies and putting them in a safe place like a safe deposit box.

I hope you took screen shot pics.

Whats going on?

1. I ended up in the hospital.
2. I am working on accessing it now.
3. My WW is starting to be transparent...granted that doesn't mean much.

And it didn't work. I couldn't get in...

I am still continuing with PLAN A. We are going to York Pennsylvania this weekend. Based off how the trip goes we might stay together or go our separate ways she says....

Are you ok? Why did you have to go to the hospital?

I was having chest pain, severe, and was stressed out with the whole situation with my wife and the long commutes and doing plan A. I have been texting my wife at late hours, trying to communicate with her almost all the time.

Can you go to your doctor and get some ADs or anxiety-meds?

CS,

Take care of yourself, and follow BH's advice.

I wrote a reply to your comments on my thread. I hope my words will be helpful to you.

I've been there, chest pains, anxiety and hospital.
Make sure you get sleep and exercise.
Eat healthy.
Part of Plan a is taking care of yourself.

Your cheating wife isn't worth having a heart attack over, so dont let yourself get that far down again.

Don't worry. It turned out it might be a muscle related issue from working out. I am not getting all whatever over a WW, anymore.

Something's she has said or done recently:
1. Said if we get back together that I shouldn't think about her being with those other men.
2. Plans to go with two of her female friends to a News Year party at a hotel...
3. She wants to be a better mother, communicator, and wife.
4. She wants to go to another church as a family...
5. While I was in the hospital, she said I love you too. (only time she has said it recently)


What should I think of all these actions and statements? I know, I shouldn't trust anything she does or say at this moment.

You have to watch her actions. If she is really serious about recovery she will have to live by some ironclad EPs/boundaries.

Going with girlfriends to a NYE party at a hotel is a huge red flag that she isn't serious about boundaries.

I would offer to go with her. Her reaction would also be very telling.

CS,

I think you are still in a very fuzzy Plan A. Things need to be ironed out on your part. Its a busy week as it is the Holidays, but we need to help you iron out the wrinkles in your Plan A when things slow down. Your plan is still incoherent and I sense that your emotions buffet you around like a small ship in stormy seas.

And under no circumstances should your wife go to that NYE party without you. The fact that it was even considered is evidence that you two are nowhere close to fixing this mess.

I agree, and based off her actions, I almost feel like going the other way now. I am starting to feel like Jon and SAA. My lovebank is starting to turning into not loving her and into dislike. She say's little comments without thinking like, "if we are still together you can't let the images of me and the other men get in the way."

What?!

This is like total whatever...

VENTING:We are going to leave tomorrow for York PA. I am starting to do a lot of thinking and feel like not having sex with her now... not because I don't want to per say but because the thought of it is I feel like a nobody in the sack with her now. 2 men have been with her and pleased her and she says things that makes me do the double think.

For example, I shaved down below and she said she doesn't like that. I never done that before... so it leads me to believe that one of the guys already done that and she didn't like it.

I find her still attractive but when we make love, it is hard not to imagine her saying those things or saying things that better stroke their ego and comparing them to me and saying they are much better than me...

I am just venting but I am going to stick to PLAN A. I am doing better, and I am getting sleep and exercising. I think I must of overworked myself.

Plan A is carrot and stick. I see you doing a fair amount of carrot and no stick?

Do we even know if these affairs are over?

She seems to be running this show and that's unacceptable. How about telling her what it will take to keep YOU in the marriage?

Don't be afraid to be tough. For instance, on the new year party plan the answer is NO. She simply can't go galivanting around town and if she wants to do that, then she's giving up the marriage.

All too often I see this soft pedaling with wayward wives. Women don't respect men who let them walk all over them. Be nice and polite when speaking with her but let her know in no uncertain terms what it will take to keep you in this marriage.

She's a serial cheat running roughshod over you and causing stress reactions. Draw the line and if she crosses it, THAT'S IT.

I am a former WW and for weeks now I've been thinking you need more stick in your plan A. You really have nothing to lose. This lady needs a wake up call to know you're not going to hang around and take the crumbs from the table.

Just MHO.