Writer1,

Thanks for pointing that out.
Quick corrected timeline. correction in bold

1) I Dated future W for a number of years
2) I worked at company X for a few years OM2 was my coworker
3) Future W started working with me and OM2 at company X
4) I left company X to work at company Y
5) W and OM2 working together without me at company X, OM2 and W had affair, I think about a year before the marriage.
6) W and I got married.
7) W continued to work at company X with OM2 for about 6 or so months after we were married.
8) W and I run into OM2 and OM2W about 10 years into our marriage, meeting was subdued, OM2 didn't want me to see his youngest child.
9) This summer I engineered a meeting between my W and OM2.

God Bless
Gamma

Sorry, Gamma, please make one more revision showing when you learned of this relationship - before or after the marriage?

Your timeline did not clear anything up.

Did WW date OM before you?

Did WW date OM while dating you?

Did WW date OM while engaged to you?

To be concerned that your wife about your wife's boy friends before you came on the scene and what they did is crazy.

Normal for teenagers to kiss, touch, explore. So a guy touched your wife's rack. You never wanted to do some motor boating for yourself.

When I was young I wanted to, and the guy's I knew wanted to be the captain as much as possible an do some serious motor boating. Wanting and getting to pilot the ship are two different things.

We would not get to motor boat if the girls did not want it.

It is a two way street. As no where the same as a girl being the town bicycle.

Boils down to if you had to marry a virgin that never even allowed a hand on her shirt. Let alone under it. Then one should better not marry any thing less.

It appears that your wife did normal growing up things. Now I could see you not being happy if your wife worked as a topless dancer, porn actress, got three season varsity letters by letting the school teams run a train on her throughout her school years. Then worse not tell you she did this before she married you would be wrong. Those these extreme things were not done by your wife.

1) I Dated future W for a number of years

2) I worked at company X for a few years OM2 was my coworker,

3) Future W started working with me and OM2 at company X, this is the first time she met OM2

4) I left company X to work at company Y

5) W and OM2 continued working together without me at company X, OM2 and W had affair, I think it started after I left the company, I think about a year before the marriage.

6) W and I got married.

7) W continued to work at company X with OM2 for about 6 or so months after we were married.

8) W and I run into OM2 and OM2W about 10 years into our marriage, meeting was subdued, OM2 didn't want me to see his youngest child.

9) This summer I engineered a meeting between my W and OM2.

God Bless
Gamma

Gamma.

A simple yes or no, if you don't mind.

"Before I married W, I knew she had dated OM2 while we were together."

Yes or no?

Kerala,

"Before I married W, I knew she had dated OM2 while we were together."

Yes or no?

YES, is an affair dating?

I actually don't know what happened!

God Bless
Gamma

1) I Dated future W for a number of years


Did not ask how long you and your wife dated. Information not needed.


2) I worked at company X for a few years OM2 was my coworker,


Did not ask how long you and OM worked together. More unnecessary information.


3) Future W started working with me and OM2 at company X, this is the first time she met OM2


Did not ask how WW met OM. More non answers from you.


4) I left company X to work at company Y


When you tell a story it is more interesting when you have a point. More non information.


5) W and OM2 continued working together without me at company X, OM2 and W had affair, I think it started after I left the company, I think about a year before the marriage.


Were you dating wife at this time? Were you engaged to wife at this time? Do you have a problem with giving straight to the point answers?


6) W and I got married.


Pointless


7) W continued to work at company X with OM2 for about 6 or so months after we were married.


Pointless.


8) W and I run into OM2 and OM2W about 10 years into our marriage, meeting was subdued, OM2 didn't want me to see his youngest child.


Some posts need a snooze button.


9) This summer I engineered a meeting between my W and OM2.


Who asked not me. And you were wrong to break NC between them.


God Bless
Gamma [/quote]

Okay, so you knew your wife was dating this guy, at the same time she was dating you, and you married her anyway, and allowed her to continue working with him even after you were married.

And now, 20 years later, you're still carrying a grudge about this and threatening to divorce your wife and hunt down the other guy.

Why?

Writer1,

I did not know she was "dating" OM I never would have tolerated that, my W came to me emotionally devastated one night telling me she was in love with OM2 and would never have feelings for me again.

As far as I know they were not dating in the sense that they made their relationship known publicly. Again I was working at a different company when the affair was going on so alot of what went on is dark to me.

God Bless
Gamma

But you married her anyway, even though she said she would never have feelings for you again and that she was in fact in love with someone else. Why?

We hear on here all the time that dating is an interview for marriage. It would seem that your wife failed that interview before she in fact became your wife. But you chose to marry her anyway. And then you chose to remain bitter about all of the things that happened before you were married for twenty years. That doesn't seem like the most productive way to spend your life.

I don't know why it is like pulling teeth to get a straight answer out of you.

I don't give a flying fig about semantics either.

WHEN did you first become aware that something (whether physical or emotional) had occurred between them?

Before marriage, or after?

Again, one word will suffice.

Why did you get OM2 to meet your wife?
Harley recommends no contact between former lovers

Exactly he refuses to give straight answers.

Yet he demands straight answers from his WW.

Kerala

BEFORE

Now let us zero in some more.


When did you know it?

When did you became aware. Was it before or after you got engaged?


What did you learn when you found out?

TheRoad,

When did you know it?

About a year before we go married, exact length of time no important to me however.

When did you became aware. Was it before or after you got engaged?

I really don't recall, we never gave engagement rings we just sorta decided to get married, for me engagement or pre-engagement is the same

What did you learn when you found out?

That she was in love with OM2 and would never feel the same about me. Indeed that was the case about never feeling the same about me. Too bad I didn't have MB back then.

God Bless
Gamma

When did you became aware. Was it before or after you got engaged?

I really don't recall, we never gave engagement rings we just sorta decided to get married, for me engagement or pre-engagement is the same


I did not ask if you gave rings. Now you better not come back telling me about the cut, shape, clarity, whether the setting was white gold or platinum. And above all else I better not read anything about her ring size. I do not want to have to go key board commando on you.


Again when did you find out that your wife had the affair was it before or after you asked her to marry you? There is no being pre engaged. Dating exclusive is not engaged. Stop hiding behind words.

Thank you.

TheRoad,

Again when did you find out that your wife had the affair was it before or after you asked her to marry you? There is no being pre engaged. Dating exclusive is not engaged. Stop hiding behind words.

I really don't remember if it was before or after we agreed to marry.

To me it DOES NOT MATTER,

If W cheated on me 1 month after we started dating

If W cheated on me 1 week after or 1 week before we got "engaged"

If W cheated on me 1 week after we got married

If W cheated on me last week

The outcome in all cases is THE SAME, depending on sexual details.

So if my W had intercourse with someone else, the week after we started dating or last week, does not matter.

God Bless
Gamma


God Bless
Gamma