Do we even know if these affairs are over?

She seems to be running this show and that's unacceptable. How about telling her what it will take to keep YOU in the marriage?

Don't be afraid to be tough. For instance, on the new year party plan the answer is NO. She simply can't go galivanting around town and if she wants to do that, then she's giving up the marriage.

All too often I see this soft pedaling with wayward wives. Women don't respect men who let them walk all over them. Be nice and polite when speaking with her but let her know in no uncertain terms what it will take to keep you in this marriage.

I am little confused. So I should tell her what it takes or not tell her what it takes. I might be reading this one wrong.
She's a serial cheat running roughshod over you and causing stress reactions. Draw the line and if she crosses it, THAT'S IT.

I am a former WW and for weeks now I've been thinking you need more stick in your plan A. You really have nothing to lose. This lady needs a wake up call to know you're not going to hang around and take the crumbs from the table.

Just MHO.

VENTING:We are going to leave tomorrow for York PA. I am starting to do a lot of thinking and feel like not having sex with her now... not because I don't want to per say but because the thought of it is I feel like a nobody in the sack with her now. 2 men have been with her and pleased her and she says things that makes me do the double think.

For example, I shaved down below and she said she doesn't like that. I never done that before... so it leads me to believe that one of the guys already done that and she didn't like it.

I find her still attractive but when we make love, it is hard not to imagine her saying those things or saying things that better stroke their ego and comparing them to me and saying they are much better than me...

I am just venting but I am going to stick to PLAN A. I am doing better, and I am getting sleep and exercising. I think I must of overworked myself.

Be a salesman; IF she brings up marriage say : "I am willing to work with you to create a romantic marriage where both of our needs are met but you must first end your affair"

Dont discuss further than that.
If she is willing to commit to that come back to the forum.

Well my wife just texted me and sais she is sorry for hurting me and disrespecting me.

What should I say into response to that?

Well my wife just texted me and sais she is sorry for hurting me and disrespecting me.

What should I say into response to that?

I am going to wait a bit to do any other discussing. She isn't saying much to me and some of her actions are not matching what she says or meeting my expectations.

"Added Note": I might of said this before but I am starting to feel indifferent towards her because we are not 2 months into separation and everything and like I said, she is not doing what I expected.

Feelings follow actions, CS. If both of you follow the plan, your love banks will re-fill. But she has to be willing to follow your EP's.

Basically what she is wanting is for you to forgive and forget.
She has NO desire to change behavior.
She hasn't even committed to ending her affair. She may just be meeting him, or the coworker there for sex.

Just ignore her nonsense.

CS,
I'm really sorry. It's clear that your wife is not not on board and her pattern won't change if she is not willing to change. You are not safe.

The best thing you can do is make an appointment with one of the Harley's. See if she will meet also.

Counseling with them is expensive, but much, much cheaper than a divorce.

I think this would just be a waste of money.
This woman is a serial cheater and unwilling to end her affair.
Telephone coaching won't help much. She might participate but she won't change.
He doesnt stand a chance at recovery until the affair has died a natural death