I recommend you get this book by Dr. Harley:

http://www.amazon.com/Buyers-Renter...swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&sr=&qid=

It contains the information that you need to develop a relationship of genuine commitment.

Oh really?
He threatens you?
That shows how stupid he is. People that call others on the phone and threaten to come into their home and harm them....sometimes end up with broken bones or dead.

Day 2.

My girl hates me. OM does not answer her text or phone calls. He wants to work on his relationship with his fianc�. As for my relationship i am not sure anything will happen. My girl said that she has made up her mind about leaving me way before she met him. I don't know if its true.

Any idea what to expect next?
Did i do the right thing?
She does not even want to be my friend any more.
OMW threw him out. This could back fire.

Jjs,

I dont know what your girlfriend will do.
However, please understand that she may not want to "buy" into a lifetime commitment of showing love and care for you.

Please read the book Buyer Renters and Freeloaders by Dr Harley (or listen on audio) ; he explains that people have differing philosophies on relationships and that we often place ourselves through unneeded turmoil and stress because we choose people that dont want a commitment.

So it is day 3 of me exposing to OM fiance. My girl and I have been okay. Last night we connected again, but she keep purposely disconnecting. I asked her why. She said because she does not want to keep the connection we have. She is forcing her self away. She says if she opens her self back to me that i will be the same person i was before. And i told her i wont be. Long story short, we had such a deep connection last night we ended up having sex again.

After sex we spoke. I asked her what is it she wanted. And she said i could stay in the house but give her space. She wants space to call and speak to who ever she wants, see who ever she wants and go where ever she wants. Basically, if we are both home and OM calls her she wants to be able to speak to him with out me bothering her. WTF? is this crazy? We have been together for 9 years and have 2 kids! Is this possible? what is going through her mind? She tells me not to lose hope for us. But not to wait around for her. If i find someone to move on. Again.... WTF?

I understand she is confused. What should i do? Does plan A take effect now? Compete with OM? and feel like a B***? What do i do?

OM fiance threw him out. He has not been home since Monday. He still calls my girl. But my girl says things dont sound the same. Its a bit awkward. A lot of silence because of what he is going through. His fiance took both the cars. Left him without a car, he had to call out of his job for 2 days. He just found out his aunt is dieing in the hospital. He is doing really bad. He actually called my girl yesterday and told her that he needs space. To not call him. She was upset. But then last night he called her to speak to her. WTF? He tells my wife he is trying to make it work with his wife but she wont answer his calls or anything. My girl tells me that if OM and his fiance dont get back together there is a good chance that she will be with him. WOW. i know its too soon to guess whats going on. The sad part is that my relationship relys on the decision OM and his fiance make. This is HELL!

Any ideas?
Suggestions?
ANYTHING?

I fell like some of you abandoned my thread once i said we were not married. That sucks. Becuase ive been with her for 9 years and 2 kids. She was my wife no matter what.

Any help please. Thanks!

Sir, Plan A and Plan B are plans to survive infidelity in marriage.
They dont apply to unmarried couples that cohabitate together.

At this point, your best hope is to try to win her heart and see if she will be willing to marry you and make a lifelong commitment to a marriage.

If she doesn't want to make that commitment through marriage then their isn't much advice I can give you.

Sir the fact is she ISNT your wife!
So stop saying that she is.
She has the right to be with whoever she wants.

People don't mean to abandon your thread.

But this woman has a pattern of playing house with men.

MB recommends not to continue a relationship with someone who has no value for commitment.

MB does not even recommend recovery for all marriages, let alone dating relationships. Recovery seems to work best for those who once had the commitment but things went wrong. When marriages start out with zero actual commitment (ie. infidelity from day 1), people here tend to recommend divorce.

The problem here is that you are trying to fix someone who never committed in the first place. She is just doing what she typically does, except it is to you. I'm sorry, because you have a child and that really is a shame, but she isn't marriage material. She's told you that - you just don't want to hear it.

Alis,

She was VERY committed to me through out the years. I was the one never committed. She told me she does not want to be committed now. And it kills me. Do you think i made the right move by exposing to his wife? He is going through hell right now, and i dont feel bad.

If you have been together for 9 years and you have two children together, the pain you are now feeling must be terrible.

But the advice you are getting here is spot on. Don't call her your wife, she is your girlfriend. If she is willing to commit, you can turn this around. Did you get hold of a copy of the book that Jedi recommended yet? It will open your eyes, I promise.

At this point i guess this is all up to faith......

I will buy the book tonight and keep you updated.

Thank you all for your advice.

Realistically, faith is not going to help you here. You should probably start phoning a family lawyer so you get adequate representation with your son. You will the professional advice, because while you may consider your older daughter to be your child, legally, you have no rights to her.

You can't keep just hoping things will work out. That sort of attitude is what leads people here in the first place. Take the bull by the horns before your girlfriend takes your son and moves in with this loser. She can legally marry him tomorrow if she wants, and he will be a stepfather. You need to approach your situation with a realistic outlook.

Did you read this?