I don't have enough evidence to expose it right now and IF it's just a one sided emotional deal is it even worth exposing at this point?

I mean I've got some of the flirtatious txt messages memorized but what good does that do me in revealing that to her? Then she just gets even more covert. I'm gonna get back in and monitor I don't plan on bringing up OM in this discussion.

Get that phone spyware and computer keylogger installed asap and then you will know the facts for sure.

You know, at first i hated how any time new posters on any marriage forum got told by the forum regulars that there was Way more to the innocent flirtatious friendships, but after reading various forums for several years in a row, i found out that the signs are always the same and the strangers knew more about what was going on behind the scenes than the new poster did.

Yes, she does have a SSL, Secret Second Life that you are not nearly fully aware of.

You need the evidence before you lose the opportunity..... NOW!!!

Then, you need to bust up the fantasy with exposure.

Only then will you be able to work on the marital issues with any chance of success.

LTL

Please do not let your WW know that you are investigating her. You need to be as covert as possible about this.

That's what I'm getting from this and trying to accept. An outsiders opinion is probably the one I need because it's unbiased. Both of our families refuse to believe that another man could be the issue because "she's not that kind of person" but in reality anybody could be that kind of person.

I would not give any forewarning at all. The reason is because your "counselor" likely has no earthly idea about the dynamics of an affair. Once the counselor rules against you moving home, then you are doomed because the counselor will have validated your wife's destructive plan.

You should just move home now without warning. You have absolutely no rational reason to leave your home. Moving out because your wife wants "space" is irrational. If she wants "space" she can go ot the garage or the back yard, but it is not reasonable for a person to have to vacate his home just because a family member wants "space."


I would only tell her that you will not be moving out and that you are there to work on the marriage. In the meantime, you MUST hire a PI or get some spy resources to find out who the affair is with.

We can help you take a more strategic approach that will likely lead to the reconciliation of your marriage.

If there's anyway you can help me build up that message a little I'd appreciate it. [/quote]

I would not expose until you have all the evidence. I assure you there is an affair is the works. Sorry.

A PI can usually get everything you need in about 2 days. In fact, you might consider hiring a PI to tail her for a couple of days, get the evidence, move home and then expose.

"I would only tell her that you will not be moving out and that you are there to work on the marriage. In the meantime, you MUST hire a PI or get some spy resources to find out who the affair is with."

I have a name and cell phone # for the OM. Sucks, i pay most of the bills except the cell phone. I wonder is there anyway I can get my hands on txt message transcripts without her knowing. Bout my best bet for exposing an emotional affair.

I know where she keeps her work calendar/ schedule I'm going to write those days down for the next week or 2 and see if she claims work on a day she doesn't have listed in her planner.

Can you swing a PI for a couple of days?


And what would you do with that information, exactly?

Did you read my comments about moving back home? The danger of bringing a counselor into the equation is that many do not understand the dynamics of an affair or the mentality of a wayward, and as such, cause enormous damage by validating destructive tactics. The advice we are giving you here is from Dr. Bill Harley, clinical psychologist who specializes in saving marriages from infidelity.

You don't reveal anything to HER. She already knows she's having an affair!

Flirtatious messages are great evidence - do you know who this affair is with?

Who is this OM? Is he somebody she works with?

Hymn, I noticed that you used the term "emotional affair." I am sorry to tell you, but it is probably physical - that is probably what she wants "space" for.

Please follow MelodyLane's suggestions and get the evidence and get this affair exposed - AND GO HOME! Get back in your house which will make it harder for her to conduct her affair at your expense.

Help those family members help you: get the evidence and show them what is happening. They will be a million times more effective in fighting for your marriage when you arm them with truth.

Help your kids, Hymn. You guys don't deserve to be out so she can have a few flings.

All of the information you need on how to be a good husband is here on this site, Hymn (I love helping men become better husbands!) but it won't do you any good if you put the cart before the horse: that stuff comes AFTER you get the truth about the affair out into the open.

You can buy the digital version of this book and have it on your computer or device to read instantly. Get it ASAP.

Infidelity: What Every Couple Should Know:

[video:youtube]m8QKOUbosNo[/video]

Good husbands fight affairs.

Good husbands do not leave their homes.

My wife thinks I'm a GREAT husband and she knows that I'll check up on her any time I feel like it and that if she ever has a relationship with someone else that all of our family and everyone she knows will know it. And vice versa. Our kids know what adultery is and would be told immediately if one of us were to start a relationship with someone else.

Affair chapter from His Needs, Her Needs Read this - it explains how affairs start and what you need to do about it. Then order Surviving an Affair from the same author.

Sir, you remind me of a guy I once knew that was asking questions about Superman's abilities as life threatening work was being performed..he couldnt focus on the task at hand.

YOUR WIFE IS PROBABLY HAVING SEX WITH A MAN WHEN THE KIDS ARENT HOME.
YOU NEED TO GET EVIDENCE ON WHO IS GOING TO THE HOME, OR WHERE SH IS GOING.

Whats on her mind? Sex with OM!

She doesnt want you home. I suspect she's having an affair and you would just be in the way. How is she going to hook up with OM if you are and the kids are there?

One sided affair? Do you really trust the guy you spoke to?
people get killed over affairs! In the Bible, King David ordered one of his best soldiers to be killed so he could have the soldiers wife!
I wouldn't trust that guy you spoke to unless I personally witnessed him interrogated by Jack Bauer and only after Bauer believed what he said.

A good start point is to: 1.
Install GPS on her vehicle.
2. Install voice activated recorder on her vehicle

AND....when you move back in, keep a hidden VAR on you at all times for safety against false accusations