Yeah, I did, both times. With pictures even in July. They didn't charge him with anything.

We went to the women's shelter for a few months this summer.

Dr. Harley would probably encourage you to go back to the womens shelter and have no direct contact with him.

Why did you leave the womens shelter last summer?

Possibly, but I can't live there forever. 2 months was a long time for them to put us up, it's a 30 shelter. There's not a lot of help after you leave. Too many women needing help. It would be nice to get on with our lives.

If it's to the point I need to go back to the shelter, I probably shouldn't be fighting it out for money. Safety is the concern. When you have to give up everything and flee, you're just happy to be safe.

Flee to where? You can't remove the children from the state (and perhaps have a geographic limit within the state) so where are you fleeing to? With or without them?

When you say you have reported your WH...to who? Has CPS/County Health Services gotten involved? Where is the GAL?

If safety is your concern then let him go to jail. Court ordered support will follow him to his grave. If he ends up in jail, that sounds like a good thing too.

If you are awarded this house you will want to make sure the decree is very specific how the house is to be treated and make sure there is solid language in there so your WH can not touch any of the proceeds/equity or interfere. WIth your credit being shot (and no job???), how would you pay the mortgage for the next five years? I would not bother trusting him to pay it...he will just jerk you around. Perhaps you can propose you get $X of cash in lieu of alimony and the business...you said he had money stashed away.

Take the two paid for cars, get child support, the nicer house and $X...he gets the business, other houses and cars...and all debt associated with those things.

As for the "reasonable visitation", can you post the exact wording of the decree or do you have any? It may be to your advantage to leave it vague since you have older children who can refuse to go.

You said he was military and law enforcement...does he have pensions or retirement benefits? If so, he would be stupid not to accept a reasonable counter offer from you...and he may be that stupid but you can use those things as leverage too...even with the custody arrangement.

I think Dr Harleys main concern would be safety.
CPS is independent of the local police dept.
You need to keep reporting abuse. Every single time your child is bruised etc.
Call CPS. Call 911. Take the child to the family doctor and the school nurse. Ask the school principal for help. Tell the shelter.

Dr Harley would encourage you to take legal action to have no contact with him.
Have you told your attorney?
Have you given reports of the abuse to your attorney?

He's responsible for the remainder of the loan, which is about $25,000. I would have full title. If he loses the house, I can open the case for alimony (only then).

That the parties stipulate that they shall share joint legal custody with sole physical custody awarded to the Respondent, subject to the Petitioner's reasonable visitation. That the parties agree that should there be any disputes relative to visitation that they will participate in alternative dispute resolution, such as mediation, prior to bringing the matter back before the court for further order.

He already used his law enforcement pension, no military pension.

All the above has actually been done. So, you would take the offer, and be safe?

The GAL was ordered back in September, but they are very backlogged.

I think your immediate focus should be on safety and not on this divorce settlement.
I think you should tell your attorney: he is abusing our children and myself and I need legal protection from him.

He should only have supervised visitation with the kids

If I don't do this offer, I think it will inflame him, no I know it will. He's not going to follow court orders, or pay anything, so I'm not sure if fighting it out in court will help, but would piss him off. If I signed, hopefully he will be happy, distracted with his new gf, and leave us alone.

You don't have full title unless there is a re-fi and only you are on the loan. The lender does not care about a quit claim deed. Going back for alimony later is a toss up and offers you little protection.


This is iffy. It is going to boil down to how much you and your children are willing to possibly do in the future, if he wants to exercise visitation. That he is the one who filed, shows he wants the divorce. Having a new gf too may be a big incentive. Do not underestimate this. You have advantage. If he (or his gf) wants to be done so bad, they will likely not want the negotiations to die...regardless of what he says.

This will not happen...it never does. You are deluding yourself if you think this. I have to head out. I would look into finding a bulldog lawyer...your lawyer seriously sucks.

Ask the womans shelter to refer you to an attorney

He's the one they referred me too