What are you looking for? What do you want?

Yes it is. You don't want to hear that you have to give up OM, and you are fighting back.

Would you like for it to be beautiful with your husband again?
There is only one way that is going to happen. We can help you with that. Your choice.


If your husband agrees with the polyamorous lifestyle, then why are you here? Why do you call it cheating? What is there to work on?

Did you read what I said about judging?

Another prime example of a foggy wayward.

Are you proud of your lover? You mentioned that he is affectionate to you in public. And you defended him when he was called slimey and sleazy.

Adultery is about as "beautiful" as two hogs getting it on in the pig pen. That is why adulterers keep their affairs secret. Of course you can't see this because you don't have an objective perspective. You are high on the fumes of a filthy affair much like a crackhead gets high on crack. But once you sober up you will see what objective observers see.

A man who screws around with a married woman has degraded her in the worst possible way. That is not "lurve" it is a booty call.


No one forced you to marry your husband. If you want to be a playah, be a playah. But get divorced first. Stop hurting your husband and your kids.

Did your husband agree to have an open marriage where you would play booty call for some scumbag? Does he agree to this? Do your kids know?

My sister-in-law's husband was a cheater during early marriage. They were married 25 years. She could not bring herself to seriously stand up or leave him and the lifestyle they had built. Their marriage never recovered but bumped along while the children were raised. She'd justify her choice to stay to us while the kids were raised. 'they' rewrote history and began to claim they were 'cool' and living in a open marriage.

it took a huge toll on the children for certain and still does. While they were little they were difficult to manage and really withdrawn/depressed during childhood and teen years. They lost respect for both their parents for their betrayals. Sorry but its a betrayal to them too.

Eventually after the kids left for college my sister in law had her own affair and left her husband. She married the Ex husband of her best friend. Now she's in an Affairage. She set up now EX husband with another good friend to help him feel better as he was upset she'd finally left him. These days she spends a lot of time really stressed out that her Ex husbands girlfriend, the one she'd set him up with, will be encroaching her relationships with her own children.

Its really crazy making to attend family functions with all these people at weddings and such. I don't see anyone of them demonstrating the beautiful love you believe you are now part of but they used to all profess "this one is my soul mate" and think this the case.

I see my sister in law highly stressed and is breaking down physically although she used to be very athletic. In the past 10 years since she began her affair, she has an autoimmune disorder and both mates have become alcoholics.

I'm really sorry for them, their children, and future grandchildren. All they needed to do was create a new marriage with their original mate.

You know who have successful "open marriages"? Celebrities! I mean I idolize Kim Kardashian and the other reality drama queens (sarcasm). They have it all together! (sarcasm). What you mean is "Honey, let me drop my panties for this specific POSOM while you sit there and shut up and pay our bills." Sorry, I am 99.9% sure on your wedding day open marriages weren't written in your vows. As far as the right wing, religious nut comments, which btw are judgements, how would you feel if your daughter or son had their wife or husband cheat on them and justify it with excuses and toothpick thin justifications?

FACT: You are sleeping with a married man and your married. This isn't what marriage is about.

FACT: You called it cheating.

FACT: You admit that it is wrong.

FACT: Marriage Builders can help you restore you marriage but it's impossible to do while you are in contact with POSOM. (piece of !@#% other man)

Excellent!

Step one: End your affair immediately.
Step two: Write a NC letter to the OM and give it to your husband to send to OM.
Step three: Tell your husband what you wrote that I quoted above. Tell him that if he will agree, you want to work with him to build a fabulous marriage by following MB principles.

We understand that you are reluctant to end your affair, as your husband was not meeting your important EN's and right now, you are lost in the fog of thinking your affair is romantic love. My dear, your affair is many things, none of which are love. If OM truly cared about you and your children, he would never have risked tearing apart your family to get in your pants... and it may be hard to hear the truth right now, but yes, this is a cheap affair, regardless of how long you have known each other.

Did your husband notice you, appreciate, hug and kiss you at one time? He can again, you know. I'd be willing to bet that if you wind up with the OM in an affairage, that you will commit the exact same mistakes you did in your marriage and wind up with yet another mess.

You cannot work on your marriage while keeping OM on the side for sex... unless I missed something in your first post that you and your husband's marriage vows included having sex with other people. ??? If so, I'm perplexed as to why you wrote that you had this affair on the sly instead of proudly announcing it to your husband, daughters, family, friends... the world; why you wrote that you feel guilty about it, etc...

We also understand that you MUST end your affair immediately if you are to save your marriage and family. Take a good, long look at your precious, innocent daughters tonight as you tell them goodnight and the legacy you want to leave to them. I'd encourage you to watch the following and give your life, the lives of your family and your choices some very serious thought.

Here - you may find these helpful:
Infidelity: What every couple should know
Coping with Infidelity, part one
How Should Affairs End?

Well for the record, I wasn't calling OM slimy....I was calling BOTH of you slimy.

Good luck to you and OM. Sounds like a dream. Maybe you'll win the lottery too -- that might help since you only work part time and he's a sporadic "freelancer".

Send you soon-to-be-ex husband here -- he will probably fit right in with all us judgmental right-wing whackos.