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I think her friends were gaslighted as well and because my WS is so lovely (before the fog descended and she was taken over by aliens) they would believe every word she said
Last edited by abccba; 03/19/14 01:37 PM.
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Well I challenged her about the phone, she was about to let me look at it until I told her i could view all the deleted messages and then she grabbed it off me. She then admitted she had been receiving texts off the OM. At which point I asked her to move out as I couldn't trust her anymore and would not accept her having an affair whilst living in the same home. Unfortunately I did get a bit angry (raised my voice only) when she tried to blame me again and did do some other LBs.
She has now moved all her stuff out. I feel strangely calm, not sure why.
She did say something weird as she left "I do love you" to which I said you have a funny way of showing it. She hasn't said she love me for a long time so not sure what to make of i other than she is possibly realising what she may be about to lose. What do people think?
Last edited by abccba; 03/19/14 06:52 PM.
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She is probably moving in with OM.
That will really put strain on their affair.
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Hi all, so she moved out last Wednesday night. Since then I have heard nothing from her. I am finding that having had no contact with her for a few days is a blessed relief as it feels like I have been used as a punchbag for the past 3 months. I am also unsure of my feelings for her and whether I want to try and reconcile. part of me still does I suppose.
Should I try to plan A or move to plan B. All plan A seemed to do is give her reasons to tell me why the relationship is not working (it was really because she was still seeing the OM). She also said she loved me when I asked her to leave. So I wonder if I do still have love bank deposits.
Thoughts?
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Sorry if i keep on asking the same questions, I am in total confusion at the moment
Last edited by abccba; 03/22/14 10:49 AM.
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Hi all, so she moved out last Wednesday night. Since then I have heard nothing from her. I am finding that having had no contact with her for a few days is a blessed relief as it feels like I have been used as a punchbag for the past 3 months. I am also unsure of my feelings for her and whether I want to try and reconcile. part of me still does I suppose.
Should I try to plan A or move to plan B. All plan A seemed to do is give her reasons to tell me why the relationship is not working (it was really because she was still seeing the OM). She also said she loved me when I asked her to leave. So I wonder if I do still have love bank deposits.
Thoughts? Do you know where she is staying? Is she still in contact with OM?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Hi, I have an idea who she is staying with but not sure exactly where she lives. She is still in contact with the OM, which is why I asked her to leave.
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Hi, I have an idea who she is staying with but not sure exactly where she lives. She is still in contact with the OM, which is why I asked her to leave. Who is she staying with? Have you exposed to this person? They are enabling her affair? Do you pay for the phone or her car/insurance or anything that she needs outside of the home?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Hi, it is one of her friends who is no longer speaking to me. My WS has portrayed me as solely responsible for the end of the marriage to her.
She pays for all her own things.
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Hi, it is one of her friends who is no longer speaking to me. My WS has portrayed me as solely responsible for the end of the marriage to her.
She pays for all her own things. Did you expose to this friend?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Did you ever write Dr. Harley?
Have you been to your doctor for some ADs? Dr. Harley recommends ADs during Plan A and Plan B.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Yes, I exposed bu then my wife spoke to her and painted me the villain. Yes got one ADs this week. I have not spoken to Dr Harley yet
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Yes, I exposed bu then my wife spoke to her and painted me the villain. Yes got one ADs this week. I have not spoken to Dr Harley yet Of course she will make you out to be the villain, because waywards always rewrite history. I'm glad you got some ADs those will really help. Why don't you write Dr. Harley?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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The other complication with my WS is that I think she is genuinely depressed an has been for some time. Therefor everything feels worse than it actually is (I have suffered from depression before so know the feeling). Her depression doesn't help my chances am I do wonder if I need to give her a bit of time for the ADs to have an effect.
How do I contact Dr Harley?
Last edited by abccba; 03/22/14 01:28 PM.
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Email your questions to Joyce Harley at mbradio@marriagebuilders.com. When your email question is chosen to be answered on the radio show, you will be notified by email directing you to listen to the rebroadcast. If you would like to consider being a caller, include your telephone number. You will be called by us to explain the procedure to you. Every caller will receive a complementary book by Dr. Harley that addresses their question.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Posts: 118
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Hi, thanks very much for the help, will email Joyce Harley.
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The other complication with my WS is that I think she is genuinely depressed an has been for some time. Therefor everything feels worse than it actually is (I have suffered from depression before so know the feeling). Her depression doesn't help my chances am I do wonder if I need to give her a bit of time for the ADs to have an effect.
How do I contact Dr Harley? She may very well be depressed. Most women whom are in unhappy marriages are depressed. Has she ever received help for he depression? Has she always seemed depressed?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Hi, when we went to coaching ( which was part of the false reconciliation) she said that she had been depressed for over 14 years. We have only been together for 9 years.
That's the weird thing she hasn't seemed depressed but from what she said in our coaching session just buries her feelings so she doesn't have to deal with them and she doesn't show her feelings. All her friends and myself were so surprised when she said she hadn't been happy as we all thought she was, with life and our marriage.
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Hi, when we went to coaching ( which was part of the false reconciliation) she said that she had been depressed for over 14 years. We have only been together for 9 years.
That's the weird thing she hasn't seemed depressed but from what she said in our coaching session just buries her feelings so she doesn't have to deal with them and she doesn't show her feelings. All her friends and myself were so surprised when she said she hadn't been happy as we all thought she was, with life and our marriage. abccba, I'm very concerned for you. I now see why Jedi has been promoting Plan B for you. You've been married for 4 years(together for 9) and haven't had sex for 3 years, is this correct? No kids? Do you want to continue in this marriage? When can you write Dr. Harley?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6
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Put this here to not t/j Bluebeck's thread. Hi, I am reading SAA at the moment. So it sounds to me that the approach for men and women are quite different. Does anyone know if this affects the chances of success? Yes it is different for a BW compared to a BH. Have you read the Jon and Sue story yet? Did you read the WH and BE story? I can find fantastic success stories from both sides.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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