OM # 1 is the Long Term Affair Partner, my relative.
During their affair, they took a break from each other then she slept with OM # 2 and then OM # 1 came back and she was planning to run away with him, but he as far as I could see he was very hesitant in the texts. You can basically see that he wasn't planning on to do it.

http://www.cheaterville.com/?page=cheaters&id=31892&sid=91087
Om1

Good job on posting; hopefully that will prevent him from ruining other families.

When you expose OM2, don't write in third person.
There is more credibility when you proclaim who you are.

When I exposed my ex wife, I posted by First name and identified myself as her ex husband.

How did the appointment go? I watched a movie yesterday that really touched my heart. It was Tyler Perry Temptation, watching it I could see the road an affair takes and how they end. Not a fan of his movies but this one was personal, I guess. You should watch it.

I hope this comes off not being offensive and I am sure some people will already be ready to blast this out of the water but I am going to share it anyway, because I think it just changed the game...
Sunday, after church my FIL who is the pastor wanted to talk to me and my wife. My MIL and FIL sat us down in a room in private and revealed the following.

Background: Pentecostal church, believes in speaking in tongues and all the gifts that are in the bible. (Yes I believe in it too...)

My FIL said he received a message from The Lord, that "Perfect Love Cast Out All Fear." With that said he, informed us that the path we are on now we are heading for a very bad place and we are more than free to get a divorce from each other for our sins. My MIL said is concerning that we haven't been to marriage counseling for the past 5 and half months we been separated and if we wanted to save our marriage we would be doing what ever it takes.

I informed them that I have been doing Anger Management, Counseling, which they already know about. I have been trying to talk to my wife and I have been wanting to go to counseling and so forth.

Well they informed us that God said if we get back together and stay as we are we would be headed down a dark path and if we get divorce and act the way we are we would be heading down a dark path. If we do what God want's we will be able to have a better marriage, or we get divorce and do what God wants, we can have an ok relationship basically that would not affect our daughter as greatly as divorce or staying married and being bitter and resentful.

My wife say's she thought she made up her mind to come back but after talking to her parents she decided to that we should go to marriage counseling first for 4 sessions. I agreed. I also said we are going to go to my Counselor, because,
1. he is tough as balls, 2. he is no nonsense type of guy. (He jumped on me in counseling).

Any way, I think this could be a good sign that things are going to go in the right direction

Seeing how I believe she wants to come back, my plan is to sit with her in Counseling and say this is the plan I want to follow for our marriage to make sure we are always in agreement, and meeting each others needs.

Sorry man I hate to be the bad guy here but it seems your WW is only agreeing to this counseling because of one thing. The old I tried to make it work but I don't feel that way about you card. This can be a good thing if you have the right counselor. I suggest you do the phone counseling they have here on Marriage Builders. I am 100% sure your WW won't commit to MB counseling via the phone. Then you will see what here TRUE intentions are.

If she won't agree to the phone counseling via MB then I wouldn't waste your time with marriage counseling. I'm sure the vets will weigh in and agree as well. Is she still in contact with POSOM? Did you ever post the POSOM #2 on cheaterville? Why haven't you been posting daily? Have you filed for divorce? Sounds like the in-laws want you married to save their own hides.

I haven't posted the OM#2. I don't have a picture. I haven't been posting daily because I had some issues come up, with work and so forth. I have an appointment with the lawyer this Thursday. I don't think so, because the way the conversation came off it came off as it better for us to divorce if we don't actually do what s necessary.

If she agrees to counseling then I think she would agree to MB counseling even though it is quite expensive.

I have to agree with Tranquil on this one.
I would be very wary, remember the old saying - Don't believe a word of what a wayward says.
True actions(not going through the motions) are what will tell you the truth.

You are absolutely right. If I can get the MB program setup and get her to commit to the program I would be more hopeful as well.

How's things going? What did the lawyer say?

Lawyer is this Thursday. My IC thinks MC would be pointless with my WW by the way she is acting. He believes more IC for her. A couple of her responses to everything has been very not taking responsibility.

I would NOT take affair recovery or even marriage advice from a counselor.
Are you aware that they dont save marriages? They never have.

You should only insist on MB Surviving an Affair.
Your wife doesnt need to see an IC to figure out why she has sex with other men. She just needs to stop having sex with other men!

edit: do not show her the forum.

Well good luck on Thursday. Also the affair is still going on so try to get her into MB coaching.

Samurai,

Good that you are holding your ground. I agree with TD about MB Coaching. If you and your wife desire a full recover, that is the way to go. Let your in-laws know that Dr. Harley is coming from a Christian perspective. Ask for their support. If they meant what they said at the meeting they will support you 100%. YOu might lend them a copy of Surviving an Affair so they can check it out. Until this happens you will continue to flounder.

Follow the steps from SAA that Melody Lane leaves for those who post here.

From Surviving an Affair, pg 66-67

The extraordinary precautions do more than end marriage-threatening affairs; they help a couple form the kind of relationship they always wanted.

These recommendations may seem rigid, unnecessarily confining, and even paranoid to those who have not been the victim of infidelity. But people like Sue and Jon, who have suffered unimaginable pain as a result of an affair that spun out of control, can easily see their value. For the inconvenience of following my advice, Sue would have spared herself and Jon the very worst experience of their lives.


Checklist for How Affairs Should End

_____The unfaithful spouse should reveal information about the affair to the betrayed spouse.

_____The unfaithful spouse should make a commitment to the betrayed spouse to never see or talk to the lover OP again.

_____The unfaithful spouse should write a letter to the lover OP ending the relationship and send it with the approval of the betrayed spouse.

_____The unfaithful spouse should take extraordinary precautions to guarantee total separation from the lover OP:

_____Block potential communication with the lover OP (change e-mail address and home and cell phone numbers, and close all social networking accounts; have voice messages and mail monitored by the betrayed spouse).

_____Account for time (betrayed spouse and wayward spouse give each other a twenty-four-hour daily schedule with locations and telephone numbers).

_____Account for money (betrayed spouse and wayward spouse give each other a complete account of all money spent).

_____Spend leisure time together.

_____Change jobs and relocate if necessary.

_____Avoid overnight separation.

_____Allow technical accountability.

_____ Expose affair to family members, clergy, and/or friends.

I will recommend MB coaching and contact Harley about setting up appointments.

Sir, don't recommend the coaching.
Insist on it.

Once again on the show yesterday, the example of how MC are useless when it comes to saving marriages. Did you hear about the last email question on the show? If not could our resident MB scholar, Brainhurts, post it for CS. Thanks in advance.

Please post it because I didn't have a chance to catch it.