These are questions to ask an attorney.
But why don't you consider Mr. Wonderings suggestions and place your house for sale and move in with your wife?

Yes, Mr. W advice is spot on for Plan A but just I case you can't handle it Plan B is what's next. My point is prepare for Plan B so when its time you can go dark as they say. Does she have access to your earnings? Does your WW work at all?

She has access to my money, but I am thinking of going to the bank and opening a new account and transferring money from there to there. She has her bank account now.

I honestly can't put my house up for sale, I mean I could but I don't think it would pan out around here. I will schedule an appointment and go talk to a lawyer.

I exposed the texts to my FIL.

Need to remedy that bank account situation ASAP.

...you know what... I think I am just going to file for divorce. I just don't see me being able to do what you guys insist, not because I don't want to but because I feel like this has already been setup to fail.

Were separated. She took my daughter. Well if I am going to divorce I mind as well get my daughter back.

The house is in both our names... and it more or less a mobile home on a nice peace of land.

How do you know or why do you suspect there is another phone?

She lives with her parents so why would it be in your home?

Most commonly...her affair phone is stuck to her person like glue. Check her bra or tucked in the back of her pants. Her purse and then, lastly her car.

If you discover the affair phone number...maybe text bomb her while in her presence to see what buzzes, chirps or beeps. Added bonus of seeing the look on her face.


Be careful of legal liabilities...hacking is illegal so what you share and with whom you share it could get risky. There's a big difference between SAYING "wow, someone mailed me this printouts containing these text messages between my wife and OM that said x,y and z" without even handing anyone a copy that they could use to file a police report versus emailing someone in writing and saying "I hacked wife's computer and phone and I've attached PDF's showing the evidence I found".

Great...then is the plumbing one of those hookup deals???

Just indicate the plumbing is backed up and needs an overhaul and you NEED to move in with inlaws for a week or so while that is being taken care of.


Then...keep saying you talked to plumber and it's worse than you originally thought. They have to do a dig out and the guys backhoe is out of order till he gets a part next wednesday. He could rent one but that would cost you another $100 so you'll just wait. Should be done by mid-april...hopefully, etc., etc., etc.

Mr. W this is awesome advice! What do you think CS?

There is no room at my in laws. 2 bedroom place. I gave it some thought.
1. I am not capable of doing what you say or have said.
2. I am pathetic, it took me forever to get exposure.
3. I am basically arguing with you when I know your advice is to help.

That's why, I decided, I am going to go to court house, get divorce papers, go to bank, setup new account and take money and then, dump her off my phone plan and just go apply for custody of my daughter.

Make of me what you will, coward, deserter, dishonorable. But I think you all can tell by my actions alone that I won't make it...

I'm sorry, I felt like I wasted your time...

The problem is easily solved. You can do both! But it is your decision as for the self mauling of your character, ton't do that as none of it is true. Just because you filed doesn't mean your divorced. You can still Plan A, it is what I am doing now. Filing help secure my finances and the well being of my son. So, I am onboard with that idea. What did Dr. Harley suggest? Do you have the cheaterville set up? You fell for the oldest trick in the book for any man who loves a woman. you fell for her womanly charms and made the choice to drag feet on exposure and MB in general. Now that your reconginze that what will you do to solve it?

Well, I am going to file today, and open my own bank account and so forth. I added him to cheaterville. I am now contacting the Harleys. I posted his picture on there as well. Hopefully they will accept my post.

This is so depressing...

Just don't make this an emotional decision but a logical one. What I am saying is you knew she was in an affair. So don't be surprised at the content of the text messages you found. You knew she is a liar as well. I understand it hurts like hell but also be cool and collect when your make your decisions.

edit: I am reading this thread that was bumped by indie for a second time. I think you should take a gander at it as well.

http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2791203&page=1

There is nothing wrong with filing for divorce.
I filed for divorce when I first learned of my wife having sex with OM, literally within 3 days of discovery.

If I marry again, adultery will be immediate divorce.

Life is too short to be miserable;

However, since you have a kid in this it may be worth trying plan A longer during the divorce process.

I was in Plan A during divorce and went to plan B immediately after divorce. But DO NOT allow yourself to deteriorate mentally or physically in Plan A. Dont kill yourself trying to win back a wayward.

She was planning to run away with him, well she was. She addressed him as Husband and her as Wife. That was some hurtful planning and the things she said in those texts, will be haunting, not forever but for a long while.

I looked at the thread and I see my WW in both of those categories.

1. Previous adulteries or cheated on boyfriends.
2.Her adultery choice knaws her conscience and she has difficulty reconciling her behavior with her beliefs.
3.Physically suffers with a guilty conscience. Difficulty sleeping, eating, concentrating. (maybe in the beginning not so much now)
4.Has fallen head-over-heels "in love" with OM, which is often an old flame.
5.Has spiritual/religous beliefs she must ignore in order to "follow her heart".
6.Cries for an audience, especially when caught.
7. I believe she has turned to food or putting all her effort into our daughter.
8.Feels powerful and in control
9.Loves herself. Why not?
10.Can look people straight in the eye and lie her [censored] off. Then go to bed with OM(s), then come home and kiss her BH, her children, and have a good night sleep. No problem.

Maybe I should try Plan A a little longer, but there is only so much a man can take before he realizes, she is too far gone and never coming back...

Just like last night. I let the cat go out for a little bit while working and of course the dumb creature didn't come back. She got upset for letting it out, and begin to berate because she said it can fleas, ticks or rabies. Then she said, if i can not trust you with the little things then how can i trust you with the big things.

She is a "freeloader" in relationships and her parents are too.

Did you make an appointment with an attorney?

What worries me is the "running away" part of her plan,
Was she planning on taking the daughter with her?

Does she know that you know about this plan?

She doesn't know. And she never said anything about our daughter in the plan at all. Of course I don't have all the pieces.

I am going to make an appointment today. I didn't get a chance to go to court to pick up papers because Chiropractor took longer. I stopped by to see my daughter and then I went to Counselor.

You need to show these to the attorney and tell him you want a Court order that your daughter is not to leave the county or state.

Who was the man she was going to run away with? OM1, OM2 or a different one?