He no longer lives with his wife. He has an apartment. When it all began he was still apparently living under the same roof as his spouse.

I'm not really on speaking terms with her mother at the moment and can not prove to her that the affair is still alive and well. When I exposed to her mother and father they were both very supportive. There was an event that took place the friday the week she moved back to her mothers where I had planned to take the kids up to my moms house for a day and my WW decided that she wanted to spend time with them that night. Needless to say her mom supported her in this. I had even invited WW to go with us. Anyway I have yet to speak to her mom since because she did the exact opposite of what she told me she was going to do. However if I could prove that the affair was still alive I would let both of her parents know.

Not entirely sure how to get the emotions under control lol. I have had people watching but not really knowing where she is or what she is doing on a daily basis makes it difficult to give a PI anything to work with. If I had an idea of when or if she was meeting with him I would have no issues with hiring a PI.

how is this for a letter to his W?

I just wanted to let you know that your husband and my wife have been having an affair. It all started around the time I sent you the first Facebook message back in November of last year and went from an emotional affair to a physical one on new years. I do not know your situation or the status of your marriage however I thought it was important for you to know. I would be more than willing to share the details/proof that I have with you and answer any questions that you have. You can contact me at xxx-xxx-xxxx , email or Facebook.

Respectfully,
X

I would hire a PI and give the OMW a phone call. Try and get as much information from her as possible.

A PI should be able to get the goods very quickly. You can then take that information to her mother and enlist her help in busting up the affair.

Did you see my comment about exposing to the OM's family?

Ask her for the contact information to inform his family? I could add that into the message.

And if the PI finds nothing? She may still be talking to him but I am not sure if she would actually meet up with him right now with so many people watching her.

I find it very odd that I really want to believe her that there is NC but my gut is telling me otherwise.

Yes, but call her on the phone.

And if the PI finds something? Then you have the ammunition to bust up the affair. That is what you need to know. This situation is not moving forward unless you uncover the truth. Your wife is gone because of her affair so it unrealistic to imagine the affair is over. She would have moved back with you if that were the case.

An affair is an addiction so she won't be away from him for long. She won't be able to resist.

You are going to have to get proactive here if you want to bust this up and get her back.

The only contact information that I have on her is her Facebook. Is there a legal way to get her phone number?

Do most WW move home after the affair is over? She did move home for the two weeks after D day then went to move in with him. when she realized what that meant for the time she had with the kids and her mom and my mom agreed to let her stay at either place as long as she ended the affair. When it all happened I told her not to bother coming home at that point in time. I have since asked her a few times. However I do not know if I have been going about that in the correct way either. This is a lot of stuff to process. I understand the addiction part. I contacted the IG today and will follow up with that tomorrow and I will send OMW a message on Facebook tonight sometime. As for the PI how long do I have them follow her ect. What else is there I can do to be proactive other than hire a PI? How long should the fallout from exposure last. I'm sure she will find out about that one way or another.

Information is a good resource. Another great source is google. Or you can PM her on facebook and ask her to call you.

That fallout will last a few days, a couple of weeks. Please MAKE SURE she finds out about your exposure. That is the point. Be loud and proud.

I would encourage your mother to STOP enabling her marriage wrecking behavior and come home. Your mother should not offer her a place to flop while she carries on her affair and abandons her family. Your mother needs to be on the side of your MARRIAGE.

My mother is definitely on my side. She only offered because WW said she went to stay with OM because she felt she had no where else to go. It was a cop out. The conditions my mother gave her were she have no contact with the OM and that she work on our marriage. The only difference between my mothers offer and her mothers offer was that her mother did not make working on our marriage a stipulation of her staying there. The entire situation is a mess. So after I tell OMW I should tell her that I have done so?

HOPEFULLY, the OMW and all of the OM's family will tell him and he will tell your WW and your WW will tell you. Try and get some good facts from the OMW and pass them along to your wife.

I would ask both your mother and her mother to stop enabling her by giving her a place to live. All that does is enable her abandonment and give her a place to flop while she carries on her affair. "working on the marriage" obviously cannot be done while separated. If she was ever serious about "working on the marriage" she would have moved home.

Lets say the OMW tells you he has had other affairs. You would call your wife and say, "hey I spoke the OM's wife and did you know he has other girlfriends? I really hope you are getting checked for STDs; I am very worried about you."

I see. Well I guess we will see what happens as far as what the OMW says.

feel_crazy,

As others here have likely told you once you being your exposure of OM make sure you hit all the targets before OM gets a chance to beat you to the punch and do damage control.

Expose completely and without warnings or threats.

OMs workplace is another prime target as it hits OM in the wallet.

God Bless
Gamma

You may even find out that the OM and his wife are trying to get back together. I find it very interesting that your wife has not moved in with the OM. There must be some kind of problem there. See, if she moved in with him, the affair would collapse FASTER because reality will wreck the affair. With her living with her mother, the fantasy of the affair can go on and on...

Regardless, the OM is a married man and his wife needs to know the affair is still on.

Is this a workplace affair?