Thanks Jedi Knight. That's not very good news for me and my situation. I don't know anyone in this area. My mom just moved here recently. I suppose I can rely on the little ones to try to convey instructions. They are getting kind of good at that. He could drop off, without coming up to the house. I do remember exactly what the letter said...just do not have my IM anymore.

Things are not looking very good for plan B.

Will keep trying to figure things out. Thanks again.

WOS, do you have any friends out of the area? What about a sister? The IM doesn't have to live close to you.

That is NOT a good idea. Every child expert that I have read are in agreement that children should NOT be used as messengers.

You are NOT the cause of all this unless you ordered him to get his needs met by another woman. That is the SOLE reason for affairs.

AS for an IM, it can be any neutral friend, anyone who can keep their head and their cool. It does not have to be someone he approves of in fact it would be better if he didn't even know them.

So the Plan B letter is sent. That means that the next communication should come from your IM introducing herself. "Hi, as per the letter you received I will be the point of contact for WoS. If you need to contact her regarding children or finances please do so through me."



You can't tell him how to parent in Plan B, he is a big boy and can figure out what shoes to provide. If he messes up, he messes up.

Read How to Plan B correctly
How to parallel parent in Plan B
and the IM training thread.

A set routine however is good and will help your Plan B run smoothly. I realise you are very used to co-parenting and seeing your H as central to your life but you can't remain locked and bolted to a falling weight of lead. He isn't any help and stop expecting him to be.

You do need to stop and plan this properly, even if you need to have someone watch the kids while you do it. Your finances need safeguarding and you will need legal advice.

Do read the threads I referenced.