Yes, I did... Maybe I missed it somewhere. I'll try to listen to it again later. But he would say no she doesn't forget her needs but then he never went into exactly how she could get her husband to do that. It kept drifting back to the fact that since he was depressed he wouldn't do that. He did tell her not to be his therapist and for him to get a "real" one to work with his depression. But until he gets that appointment, or if he does or whatever, what is she supposed to do in the meantime.

Once the husband's depression is taken care of, he will be able to meet his wife's emotional needs.

Yes, but for example the caller's husband took AD's when they were engaged, if I am remembering but hated the way they made him feel, so he got off of them. So what if he won't get back on? OR..Dr. Harley figured it was his job. So does that mean she is just patient for the 3months to a year it would take for him to get in a happy job situation to get out of the depression situation? She just sounded so incredibly tired. And Dr. Harley said she is wanting a pill to make him happy that doesn't exist. I get that. But even Dr. Harley said he had to schedule depressed patients so they were not back to back because they drained him so much... How do you think a spouse feels that has been doing it for years and years.. I guess I wondered how she was supposed to hold out and get her needs met since it sure sounded like her love bank was in the negative.

One thing that is always true, is that feelings are real even if the reasons for them are not. So if you are not getting your emotional needs met and you are not letting the one person that said he would meet those needs know they are not being met, it doesn't stop his bank account from being withdrawn.

And even though you feel like you are being selfless by 'Protecting' him from your complains the reality is you are doing the opposite. Meaning that if you care for him you would inform him when his account is being withdrawn so that he can safe guard his marriage.

God gives us requests of things he would like us to do for him and because we love him we do it for him, but no one would say that God's requests are selfish. He is making the request out of his desire to be in a relationship with us.

I would like to believe your H wants to have the best relationship he could with you and by not giving him the information he needs to make that happen you are robbing him from that and that is a selfish act not a selfless act.

He could agree that because of all the things he is dealing with and what you have shared about how he is dealing with it that he is more then likely dealing with a situational depression, but would your H agree with that? If he does agree, have you spoken to him about taking steps to get help in dealing with is depression.

I think that is why right now he has put openness and honesty as his top emotional need. I don't know if the legal issue he is dealing with has anything to do with a lack of honesty (and I don't need to know), but if it is he may be even more sensitive about any perceived dishonesty from you. I think he would more then likely say that even though he may not like what you are saying to him, he would prefer you saying it instead of trying to 'protect' him.

I was talking about the caller, not necessarily myself.

I was referring to these 2 statements of your. Which sounds like you are talking about your marriage and getting your needing meeting as it related to what Dr. H said to the caller.

May we keep it hypothetical for legal reasons please.

Absolutely I don't want you to discuss his legal issues her because this is public and can be used against him. I just mentioned it for your benefit in case that is a case so you can be mindful of that as well. Either way honestly is a top need for him so not informing him of that you need from him is selfish not the other way around.

Here is your show.
Radio Clip of hopefulwife47