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Please try to get there tomorrow. Then you can start making decisions with a clear mind.
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Yes ....I was reading my husbands forum. He was asked repeatedly if he has ordered the book to which he says I have ordered it and should be there tomorrow. I have ordered it but gets here after eight days. One of the members suggested he downloads the book to which he made lame excuses that how to. Here is an insight to my husband. He knows how to order escorts and prostitures online. Runs and manages four different businesses in three different countries. Is capable of deleting erasin messages downloading songs on iTunes magazines on his ipad but now says doesn't know how to download a book. He can log on every morning on multiple bank accounts and remember his keeps different telephone numbers ......Just a classic example of how he manipulates people to make them believe it's not him but the situation.
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He waited till few of your forced him and spelled it out loud and clear that he should do this. He claims he will try his best. The least he can do is read this book. But no. He will sit back and wait for someone todo it for him. He pre tends and uses more effort pretending that he cares about this but truth of the matter is he cares about his needs and himself. He will probably read a page or two so he looks like he is trying and use it to his advantage. How he feels trauma discussing this. Cause that's what he tells me. It causes him trauma. !!!!!!!!!
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No one here is going to be taken in by a facade. I promise you that there are posters here who can smell rotten wayward dung even if it is masqueraded as a million dollar ruby with a cascade of diamonds.
Mrs. Gkumar, I would like to ask a question of you. In the present. Okay?
Your husband started posting here on MB (Marriage Builders) on June 4th. He had some rough questions to get through, since he was dealing with long-time posters who see through every bit of BS.
He still dared to invite you here, even knowing that we would all point out the truth about your life (as the posters did with him).
Why do you think that he did that?
DDays - six months of them THANK YOU God and Marriage Builders. We never knew that it could be this good! 
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Blind sighted. I had introduced him to it. It wasn't the other way round.
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okay, I apologize, I had not realized that. I have been staying away from new wayward threads because so many of them post and run once the posters here see through them.
So�did you kind of butt in and start posting (doesn't matter if that is what happened, we are happy that you did)?
Or did he suggest it?
DDays - six months of them THANK YOU God and Marriage Builders. We never knew that it could be this good!
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He suggested. I first resisted then agreed
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Now he regrets it as many encouraged me to leave
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I am glad to hear that he suggested it to you. And I am so very happy that you did post. I do not think that anyone would encourage you to leave. Go back through your thread and read your posts. Maybe I am wrong again!  You of course have the RIGHT to leave, and no one would fault you for your choice. Yes we all have said that. But no one here at MB would encourage leaving UNLESS you wish to leave. Do you want to leave?
DDays - six months of them THANK YOU God and Marriage Builders. We never knew that it could be this good!
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Here's the thing. I am here to tell you absolumently that you and he CAN make a brand new marriage and fall passionately in love with each other. If you feel that you want to stay, we can guide you both. Him on his thread and you on yours. BUT YOU BOTH have to be committed to the hardest work that you have ever imagined! If you stay, we will help. If you decide to leave, we will help. There are many long-time posters on here who did decide to leave, and yet they continue to post and help others, because they are fully recovered and happy in their present lives. They pay it forward now and help others. Same with recovered marriages�Marcos and Prisa are one. They now spend their time to help others (thank you God because they helped me a lot).
DDays - six months of them THANK YOU God and Marriage Builders. We never knew that it could be this good!
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I will stay. And try. Just for a few days. I will give him a few days. If. to leave. All I get is false promises. He just talks and talks and there is nothing that he does to back those talks up. Nothing new. And I can't wait longer. This is my last few days with him. I will give this my last try. If he can make me feel different about this I will stay. But I won't live in hope of a change and stay with just hopes .....I don't know how but if he can make me feel differently now in few days versus what I have felt for months now it will work. So far he is being him. An escapist. If it concerned his own personal need he would have gone high and low but this is not about him. So he will find excuses to do anything. It's hard for me to explain in words but I can see thru his manipulation and sickeningly I let him get away.
Last edited by Gkumarswife; 06/11/14 07:34 PM.
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But no one here at MB would encourage leaving UNLESS you wish to leave. And I also need to clarify that anytime that we see anything that shows that your husband is being less than honest with us or with you, YES we will encourage plan B immediately. At that point though, you will probably have learned so much from MB that we won't have to tell you.  Plus, I have only been here for a year�.there are others who have been here for ten years, and I absolutely guarantee you that those old-timers WILL descend like vultures to protect you faster than you can blink your eyes.
DDays - six months of them THANK YOU God and Marriage Builders. We never knew that it could be this good!
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Thank u all for being there for me. Just not knowing me or who I am as a person yet spending time talking to me more than I have spoken to my closest friends. My husband has for years made me appear like a demon. All my friends and family carry preconceived notions about me. My employees do. Because my husband made it sound like I was a maniac
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He did it in his own subtle ways. Using the right words yet made me look bad. Always was there to hand out the goodies but when it was time to discipline or get something corrected threw me in the front. I am just sick to my stomach what I have done to my life
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GOOD! I am happy to hear it, because you need to get those anti-depressants pumping through you before you make any long term decisions. Okay, so now for your trying� Can you speak with your husband and in a kind voice, let him know that you are willing to keep trying? You need to schedule the polygraph. You need to read Surviving an Affair. Can YOU not just download it for yourself? I know you are waiting for your husband to pick up the torch and do something, but YOU need this also.
DDays - six months of them THANK YOU God and Marriage Builders. We never knew that it could be this good!
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He waited till few of your forced him and spelled it out loud and clear that he should do this. He claims he will try his best. The least he can do is read this book. But no. He will sit back and wait for someone todo it for him. He pre tends and uses more effort pretending that he cares about this but truth of the matter is he cares about his needs and himself. He will probably read a page or two so he looks like he is trying and use it to his advantage. How he feels trauma discussing this. Cause that's what he tells me. It causes him trauma. !!!!!!!!! We see through a Waywards lies and half truths very clearly. That is why he is being held accountable for his Actual ACTIONS, not just his words that say that he is going to be doing something. You concentrate on YOU!!! That is the ONLY person any of us actually have the power to change. Just take this program One Day At A Time. Now, YOU should attempt to eliminate any of Your Own ANGRY OUTBURSTS and other LOVE BUSTERS. After you BOTH read through Surviving An Affair, the Love Busters book would be the immediate next one to read and absorb the contents of. LTL
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I will download it now. Thanks for the input. I will msg and agree to try for a few days. And yes I will get a dr appt for the ad. Will they make me gain more weight I am already in the heavier side
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He did it in his own subtle ways. Using the right words yet made me look bad. Always was there to hand out the goodies but when it was time to discipline or get something corrected threw me in the front. I am just sick to my stomach what I have done to my life Oh Sweetie, they ALL did this! Thank God you found it out, because NOW you can do something about it! Waywards lie. I know how hurtful that it is, but it isn't him right this second, right?And (hopefully) it will never be him again. I'm NOT making light of the hurt, but read this please: What is Gaslighting?
DDays - six months of them THANK YOU God and Marriage Builders. We never knew that it could be this good!
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And yes I will get a dr appt for the ad. Will they make me gain more weight I am already in the heavier side NO! Ask for Wellbutrin, and in fact it could make you LOSE weight! It is sometimes prescribed for people for just that purpose.
DDays - six months of them THANK YOU God and Marriage Builders. We never knew that it could be this good!
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What about writing Dr. Harley?
Email your questions to Joyce Harley at mbradio@marriagebuilders.com. When your email question is chosen to be answered on the radio show, you will be notified by email directing you to listen to the rebroadcast. If you would like to consider being a caller, include your telephone number. You will be called by us to explain the procedure to you. Every caller will receive a complementary book by Dr. Harley that addresses their question.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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