All overnight travel has been eliminated and we live a completely transparent and interdependent marriage. We are more in love then we've ever been.

If the WS doesn't want to stay then this whole discussion is meaningless. I come from this with the asumption that both WS and BS is willing to try.

Regarding WW1. You are correct, however if we follow your line of thought we shouldn't have punbished the Nazi leadership and consentration camp personel because it doesn't prevent anything.

Some form of compensation/recompence is ingrained into us as a very central part of us.

The next paragraph of yours I totaly agree with.

However I don't really agree with your next part. It is never anything the BS does that leads to an A. That is 100% on the WS. However, they both contribute to the state of the M and the problems it has.

My problem with "Just Compensation" is that I just don't see anything there that adresses compensation/recompence. Yes it is designed to affair prof your M and make your M a great one but it demands an equal amount from both BS and WS. So in a way you can see it as the WS is being rewarded with a great M for their A and pays nothing for it that the BS doesn't do.

If I was a WS and regretted the A and wanted to stay with my BS I would gladly and expect to have to do a lot more than the BS to repair the M. But I don't see that in Just Compensation at all and that makes me wonder...

Tom,

What is the point of the thread?
Are you considering divorce?

Sorry if I struck a nerve there.

Houswork as well as the other things I listed was just examples of things. There is tons of things you could do. And obviously it wouldn't be one thing and yes just having the WS do 4 days of dishes and the BS 3 every week is very trivial. But that was never the idea.

Also if you didn't notice it I'm not a BS nor a WS.

BrainHurts

OK, change travel for work with a work related conference lasting late in the evening or a meeting with a late dinner with important customers instead.

Again I don't doubt that you can have a better M. However, you didn't answer my question if you as a BS ever experience stress, angst or any negative thing because of the A even though you have a great M now?

Sorry everybody, I noticed that I didn't quote, thought I did. I'll do that from now on when replying.

I'm neither a WS or a BS so no I don't.

The point of this thread is that I'm trying to learn. I have a very close family member that is a recent BS and I'm trying to understand as much as I can and help what I can.

Other forums I've been on proposes quite a different approach than MB and I want to know your thoughts regarding the issue of compensation/recompence, most other parts of the MB principle I think I grasp and understand in a general way.

I'm not trying to be a pain or anything just having a discussion and learning as much as I can. Since I got mostly negative feedback or no understanding of my initial thoughts I'm trying to understand your point of view and have you challenge this idea.

I'm sorry if I'm in the wrong forum for this discussion. Please point me in the right way if that is the case.