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My children know. My family knows. My friends, his friends, everyone knows. This was exposed over two months ago. After getting on this forum my husband decided more people needed to know. He opened pandoras box and the other man contacted me again. I wanted nothing more than to move forward and now I feel like we are back at square one. Actually behind square one because I am not sure he has been honest about forgiving me and fixing our relationship. How did OM contact you? Have you not changed all your contact information? What is your BH's posting name?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Hi MarieMab, when you say that everyone knows, did your husband tell them or did you? Did you let your husband know that the OM contacted you again?
Just HOW was the OM able to contact you at all? With Extraordinary Precautions, you will need to CLOSE ANY GAPS that the OM could contact you through.
MarieMab, can you ask your husband to come here and sign up for a screen name and post to us? If you both do want to recover your M, we will help you both.
Why don't you begin by telling us your story?
DDays - six months of them THANK YOU God and Marriage Builders. We never knew that it could be this good! 
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I told everyone except my children and that is because I was out of town. My husband told them.
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I read the book. I was trying. My husband spends about five hours on this site and suddenly new steps MUST be taken to protect the marriage. There are many forms of betrayal and I realize the cheater gives up all rights to pain but I am literally crushed. There are MANY of us here who can confirm that the MB principles are the only reason we were able to recover our own marriages. I spent a year in resentment and anger over my own FWH's affair until I found MB. Are you objecting to the steps to protect your marriage?
ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
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The only thing I object to is cheaterville and the mob mentality that lead my husband to tell more people (a not completely true version) after the affair was already exposed.
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MarieMab, I just went and read your husband's thread.
Could you answer my question please�did you tell your husband that OM has contacted you?
HOW was the OM able to contact you?
Marie, you need to change all of your contact info immediately, as in right this second, so that the OM can never contact you again. That will go far towards showing your husband that you are serious about protecting him from any more pain.
Will you change your cell phone number and give ALL of your passwords to your husband?
Will you get rid of your email account?
Will you delete all social networking accounts? Facebook, etc?
What else can you think of to DO right now so that your husband can KNOW that you will never ever have any form of contact with the OM again?
DDays - six months of them THANK YOU God and Marriage Builders. We never knew that it could be this good!
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I did all of that initially but I am in school. I cannot escape on line completely. Unless I want to quit school.
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marie, if you and your H are doing the work of recovery and you are daily proving yourself to be transparent, then this whole cheaterville thing can be a blip on the radar. It's done. It seems to me the best thing to do is to get back to work.
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The only thing I object to is cheaterville and the mob mentality that lead my husband to tell more people (a not completely true version) after the affair was already exposed. Getting exposed is a job hazard of cheating. If you don't like being exposed, you shouldn't do things you don't want exposed. It's real simple. You are not a victim.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I would just add that you volunteered for this; your victims did not. So you won't get any sympathy from us, madam.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I did all of that initially but I am in school. I cannot escape on line completely. Unless I want to quit school. You do not need Facebook or any other social network account for school, do you? Are all social network accounts still closed? Did you change your cell number and give Drew your passwords? As for email, where there is a will, there is a way. People change emails all of the time. I can think of one easy way to protect your husband going forward. Can you think of anything? PLEASE answer my questions�how was the OM able to contact you again? And also have you told your husband that there was contact?
DDays - six months of them THANK YOU God and Marriage Builders. We never knew that it could be this good!
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Yes melody I heard you the first time. Just burn me at the stake. It will be better for all...
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Yes I told my husband and the OM e mailed me. I can be located in my school e mail.
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Yes melody I heard you the first time. Just burn me at the stake. It will be better for all... Your self-pity is pathetic. Most of the people posting to you have successful, recovered marriages. We did not burn our wayward spouses at the stake - we worked with them on the marriage. They did the work required and our marriages are better than ever. That is what we wanted for Drew when he posted here in despair, and it's what we want for you. Do grow up, Marie.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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Yes he has all my pass words and intercepts the mail.
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Yes he has all my pass words and intercepts the mail. Did you respond to the OM?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I know melody I am a pathetic piece of [censored].
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Yes I told my husband and the OM e mailed me. I can be located in my school e mail. Good that you told your husband, I am relieved to read that. What does this mean�that you can be located in your school email? Many of us have also been in school, and the general public cannot locate us via our school email. Are you saying that the OM is ALSO in school with you?
DDays - six months of them THANK YOU God and Marriage Builders. We never knew that it could be this good!
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Marie, use this energy to do the work you need to do for your husband, your marriage, and yourself. The man you live with needs that from you.
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