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Let's reset. I need insight on how recovery works now that the WW has ended the affair and has embraced recovery? Read through the links I posted on your wife's thread, together with your wife. Have you guys installed the Marriage Builders Radio app? Have you watched Dr. Harley's video on infidelity?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
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The 20 hours UA appears to be the key. The extraordinary precautions are the first key in a door that is double-locked. You won't open it with UA alone.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Joined: May 2008
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ALL the items in the checklist are key. We have seen plenty of negative results when a couple "cherry picks" the program, leaving other aspects out, only selecting the parts that are easy for them to do.
BW - 70
WH - 65
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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Go back to your own thread and leave this victim alone. Drew, this is incredibly disrespectful. I posted to you out of concern for the fact that your very unrepentant (and amazingly entitled and insulting wife) was reading and posting on your thread, and I did not feel you were safe to seek support. Many of us know how tragic and painful adultery is for the betrayed spouse, and it is clear your wife does not. You ARE the victim here, and I showed concern for you and your well being. And this little exchange between your wife and yourself on your thread makes a mockery of that? MelodyLane is a SAINT, because she has been treated very poorly by both of you and is STILL here continuing to try and help you. As for me, I'll bid you both good luck with your recovery and find some better use of my time.
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PS, guys think long and hard about Cheaterville. The OM's W was dragged into the site by a third party who recognized him and it compounded her pain besidres adding shame. She really is innocent Have you listened to what Dr. Harley himself recommends about these sites? Shesahomewrecker.comSir, The OM girlfriend is probably used to his behavior if it happens regularly and is in constant "close my eyes and pretend it doesnt happen" mode. Reality is reality. 1 + 1 equals 2, no matter if someone wishes the answer was 4. If I drive drunk and get arrested, my name will be in the loacl newspaper. That is a fact. My girlfriend may not like it, my parents may not like it. Is the police officer to blame for taking my picture and arresting me? Is the newspaper to blame? The answer of course is that I am to blame for my own actions. If you and your wife are serious about recovery, please focus on following the steps in Surviving an Affair.
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Drew, how do you know there has been no contact between your wife and the OM other than the one your wife recently told you about? I would like to know why you believe this?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Drew, how do you know there has been no contact between your wife and the OM other than the one your wife recently told you about? I would like to know why you believe this? Because she said so and she has never lied, right?
BW - 70
WH - 65
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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Good luck with the gaslighting going on in your marriage. ML isn't a enemy of your marriage. Your wife is and you are if you keep believing her and not verifying. Won't be long till she has to call the POSOM to apologize and you right back in D-day. Timidness doesn't look attractive and doesn't save marriages.
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Drew, I made the post below to your wife tonight and I wanted you to see it. I am very serious when I say that I have a hard time believing that your wife has truly ended contact with her OM given her extreme fogginess and hostility. We never see way wards this combative unless they are still in contact. Oooo... You know what why would I have wasted so much time getting beat up here if I were still screwing the other man? I would avoid you right. Oh wait let me guess this is how I covering up affair by coming here????? Does this make sense to anyone????? Even so, nothing you have said or done for the past 3 days would convince anyone that you are not still in touch with the OM. Just the opposite. Your behavior makes me believe you are still in contact. It is very unusual to see a wayward who is *THIS* fogged out, entitled and hostile this far out from the end of the affair. This is how a wayward acts who is still in contact.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
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Bump - Drew, I understand your wife is not happy, two years later. Would you like to know how to have a happy marriage?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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