|
|
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 8
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 8 |
I wish I could save my marriage but it seems like things are just too far gone. My husband of 23 years is having an affair with a woman 20 years younger. When I discovered the affair, I asked him to stop the affair and go to counseling. He refused both. I asked him to leave and he moved in with her. I am afraid I drove him into her arms by doing this. He showed no remorse at all and I was very angry. I am devastated as he was the love of my life. The pain is unbearable. He was taking her on vacations and lavishing her with gifts. The lies and betrayal were awful. We have been separated for 14 months. Is it too late for me?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Hi Betsy, i am so sorry for your loss. Was this his first affair?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 8
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 8 |
Yes this was his first affair.
He is 50 and she is 30. They met at work. They both ended up getting fired.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Yes this was his first affair.
He is 50 and she is 30. They met at work. They both ended up getting fired. It sounds like this has gone on for a long time. Was she married? Was the affair exposed to her family and everyone on your side? How did the workplace find out? And do you hear from him now?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 8
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 8 |
The affair went on for 2 months before I discovered it. She has never been married. I did expose him immeidately to our children, my entire family, and his entire family. Everyone was shocked and appalled. I chose not to expose him at work as this would have financially devastated us. However, they both ended up getting terminated. Their affair has been going on for about 16 months. We have been separated for 14 months.
I do still hear from him regarding our kids, bills, etc.
I did not expose the mistress to her family, who lives out of state. Perhaps I should have?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 8
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 8 |
She reports to him at work. She was stealing and selling the stolen goods on ebay. She stupidly sent him an email on his work email address bragging about the money she made selling the goods. His company suspected that there was something going on between them, so they were monitoring his email. They fired the mistress and then fired him as her manager, based on the fact that he knew she was stealing from the company and did not report it. His life is a disaster now. I cannot believe he went along with all her shenanigans and lost a great job. He is still unemployed.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 1,433
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 1,433 |
He didn't just lose a job. He has wrecked his marriage. You should be preparing for Plan B. As to what will happen to your husband - most affairs die a natural death within two years. Will all the pressure on his affair, I bet it will be toast in a month or two. At that point, he will probably want to come back. You will need to establish the conditions in your Plan B letter which he must meet to return. These conditions will be the basis for rebuilding your marriage, and making sure that nothing like this affair can ever happen again.
me-65
wife-61
married for 40 years
DS - 38, autistic, lives at home
DD - 37, married and on her own
DS - 32, still living with us
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 8
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 8 |
Should I expose the OW to her family? And post on Cheaterville? She is extremely private and does not even have facebook. I think it would really bother her. It could also hamper her efforts to find a job.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Should I expose the OW to her family? And post on Cheaterville? She is extremely private and does not even have facebook. I think it would really bother her. It could also hamper her efforts to find a job. Absolutely. I would also go into plan B and end all contact with him. We can help you do this if you will diwnload and read Surviving an Affair on kindle.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 8
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 8 |
I will do it! Can a person get sued for posting on Cheaterville?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,549 Likes: 10
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,549 Likes: 10 |
I will do it! Can a person get sued for posting on Cheaterville? Sued for what? Is it against the law to tell the truth in your country?
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 8
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 8 |
Just posted the home wrecker on Cheaterville. Will anonymously email it to the world !!!
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
336
guests, and
120
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,038
| |
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
