You could also setup a recording video camera in a place she is likely to unlock her phone and view the playback to reveal the password.

Well, I did a little snooping into our wireless phone records....noted a california number, knew it was her old high school friend Dan (by searching her contacts I've met him several times). We are in NY so it seems to be an internet affair...It really started ramping up around the 4th of July and through the early part of Dec. Hundreds of tx messages and quite a few 15-30 min. calls. Then when we had our first talking about her "struggling" the tx messages went silent (and onto FB messenger I assume) and any few phone calls stopped.
I am going to see about getting some camera phone recorder...she is sleeping on the couch now but not sure you can get a camera set up close enough for detail.

Some of this seems to have started after their HS reunion back last August.

This also explains why right after we had a blowup on the phone, she immediately jumps on FB while she's at work.

BTW, not to mention, she NEVER leaves the phone out of her hand. And I'm sure she is deleting every incoming FB message. Meanwhile I do this feeling like my whole spine is on fire.

Can someone move this thread back to Infidelity??

I always thought this one would work well, and you can view it live or record over the internet: Drop Cam

As for close up, maybe you could make something like this work. It's cheap too.: Spy Pen

BTW I have no idea if the spy pen place is legit or not. I just did a quick Google search. The drop cam I'm positive is a legit store. I haven't actually used either, but I'd give it a shot if I needed to.

Click notify and ask the mods to do it.

I think you have plenty of evidence for exposure dude.

If you came to me as a stranger and said, "My wife previously had an affair and now..." ^^ all of the above.....

I'd be convinced.

You don't have to prove it to her you know. She knows what she is doing.

But with my "condition" and med. history, it could be an ugly sitch.
Can you plan A during an internet affair?

And, of course I want my marriage...."till death do us part". I've neglected her with self consumption....15hrs./wk.?? Lucky if there was one or two....for many, many months....it was just too difficult for me, and with everyone pounding the anxiety issue on me, (and my own Phsych I was referred to said "you don't have primary anxiety....you have something wrong with you physically....but the Dr.s say otherwise (quite quickly I might add to pull out the script)

I just sent her this email:

Yummy,(my nickname for her)

�I hope your day has been a good one!
The night will be too. It will be a safe place for you, and eventually a happy one for both of us.
"

Her reply: I really really hope so!  My day was OK. Hope yours was too!

This probably why you should just go to Plan B as suggested.




Of course you can. The type of A doesn't matter. But Plan A includes exposure.

Plan B requires removal from the home for one of us....and not sure she would move out either (other than with her sister down the road, but she would keep coming back home.
BTW, do you include the Affairee in the exposure...I forgot (used to be an expert!!)

You can't go blaming yourself for this. I've read your previous threads from beginning to end. You were the Plan A master. You fought for your marriage and did the near impossible. You can be proud of that. Your W didn't follow extraordinary precautions. That's why she had another A.

Here is a formula I like to remind myself of:

ENs met + strong EPs = No Affair
ENs met + weak EPs = Affair
ENs not met + strong EPs = No Affair
ENs not met + weak EPs = Affair

The key variable here is having strong Extraordinary Precautions in place.

It's not about blaming myself, it's about understanding the MB pricipals...yes my WW has some issues that make her a bit more of a risk, but that came from both of us...I neglected her EN's (intentiaonally or not) and her seeing me struggling was diminishing her LB. She, probably was in error for confiding in many of her friends while I've been struggling, and a long time fried of hers was probably a seemingly inoccent outlet.....but we all know that is a dangerous road.

And she has ALWAYS had strong EP's in place for the last 9 years.


I'll get her back...stand back and watch! It may take awhile, and if not....I know the path of self healing, if I can ever get this God aweful condition to go away or get properly diagnosed.

I would start by seeing an attorney and finding out what your options are. Since you have minor children you want to be on firm legal ground since it may be you leaving the house and taking your kids with you.


Why would you? They already know what they are doing. What you DO want to do is expose without warning and to everyone on your target list at once for maximum effect.

Study this thread very carefully: Exposure 101

I would include him anyway in a group email. I'll plan A for now, and hope I get a bit better....it's not as hard the second time around

Obviously she has not. You don't just fall into an affair the second time around. She had to go to this HS reunion, talk to this guy, get his Facebook, add him to hers, and then have enough conversation with him over a period of time to be in love. That doesn't sound like a woman with strong boundaries around the opposite sex to me.

I wouldn't. That would give them both some advance warning. I wouldn't tell my W either. It will be much more effective if they start getting calls, emails, and texts "out of the blue" from concerned friends and family.

Oh, and have your VARs ready. They will likely break radio silence once you expose.