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Marie, you are not going to make it unless and until you start taking this serious. This whole thread is an endless litany of Plan Marie. Well guess what? MARIE only knows how to WRECK MARRIAGES!
When are you going to get serious?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Okay you win sister... I surrender. I have no answer for you... I didnt want to say well we dont have a hundred bucks a night for a hotel on the show. its kind of embarassing. He had great suggestions but there is no way we can afford it.
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This is a small town. There are two hotels one is one hundred the other is one hundred and twenty.
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I am sure she is fabulous but everything I say she slams and I am sick of it. I am trying my hardest to work on a marriage I was done with. She can ignore me but she loves to goad me on. I don't care if she doesnt post. I dont have to post. I wanted help. but all I get is everything I am doing wrong. If you really "want help" then why aren't you taking the advice? People who really "want help" don't ignore the advice and BRAWL with the posters. That is all you have done: BRAWL AND FIGHT. Brawling will not save your marriage.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I am taking it seriously. I wouldnt keep coming back if I was messing around. I would avoid you like the plague.
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Okay you win sister... I surrender. I have no answer for you... I didnt want to say well we dont have a hundred bucks a night for a hotel on the show. its kind of embarassing. He had great suggestions but there is no way we can afford it. I have an idea!! Instead of looking for solutions, why not BRAWL with the posters who volunteer their free time on the board?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I have been polite until you attack.
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My wife and I were also advised by Dr. Harley on the radio program to not be separated overnight at a time when we too were facing a difficult issue in meeting job requirements while working through our move to another location. We had to move Heaven and Earth (well, it seemed like it, anyway), but through the whole process, we were not apart a single night. This is more than just a matter of avoiding an affair, even though that is a plenty good reason. It is also concrete evidence of your commitment to restoring your marriage. Never being separated overnight is a basic MB rule. It is very important. It is more important than your job or your finances.
me-65 wife-61 married for 40 years DS - 38, autistic, lives at home DD - 37, married and on her own DS - 32, still living with us
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I am taking it seriously. I wouldnt keep coming back if I was messing around. I would avoid you like the plague. I see no sign that you are serious. Rather, I think you love to BRAWL. People that are serious look for solutions, they don't brawl and attack board members. Nothing serious here.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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You give me a solution...Quit and live on welfare? I cannot do it.
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Okay well if I am not I will just go. I will just do this on my own.
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Okay well if I am not I will just go. I will just do this on my own. You are wasting our time. There are so many people here who are serious about saving their marriages. They are not here brawling like a fish wife. They are looking for solutions and following the advice.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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\ Our home is in forclosure. We are broke!!!!!!! Collections at our door step this evening. That was great... Then you REALLY do not want D. A divorce is a nightmare on your finances. This is an opportunity for you two to work as a TEAM, brainstorm and figure this out. People who want to make things happen, do. It's that simple. ps - I don't have a ton of sympathy for the "I'm broke" excuses that get thrown around here often. I have to figure a ton of stuff out all on my own, ONE income. And yes, I also have a child in college and crazy legal expenses.
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Marie, a big part of the trouble is that you are talking to people who traveled this road before you (and saved our own marriages).
Would you rather speak with the average person who has NO idea how to save M's after an affair? You know the type�the type that I used to be when I always swore that if my H ever cheated on me, he'd be out on his butt.
Have you read anyone else's threads on here? EVERYONE has a story, and most of our stories include drastically changing our lifestyle (that obviously wasn't working for us).
We all had to do extraordinarily difficult things so that we could put a total cast around our marriages. In order to HEAL.
For what it's worth, I was very impressed when you interrupted Joyce in order to explain the truth about your working nights. But Drew STILL needs to be with you. Even if you are sleeping.
Dr. H sounded as if he thought that you two have a bright future ahead of you. Together. Please stick to HIS plan and follow the steps so that you both can heal. Please do not take "shortcuts" and make it Marie's Plan. Keep Dr. H's plan. Change your email and your phone number, and you two agree to NEVER spend a night apart again.
DDays - six months of them THANK YOU God and Marriage Builders. We never knew that it could be this good!
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Marie, assuming you cannot scrape up the $100, or stay at a town within 100 miles that has cheaper hotels:
If you have a tent, Forest Service campgrounds are about $6/night or KOAs are really cheap.
If you have a travel trailer, Walmart lets you park it in their lot for free.
Sometimes a local church knows someone you can board with for an occasional night or two.
If you have a pickup with a topper, you can put a mattress in the back and park in Walmart. My parents do that when they are traveling sometimes.
If you have a minivan, you can fold the seats down (or depending upon the model you may have to take them out) and put a mattress in the back.
Are you living in a covenant with death? With bitterness in your marriage? Read Isaiah 28. The bed will not be long enough or the covers wide enough for you to ever find comfort in that life. In Isaiah 28, God tells you to take a stick and beat these conditions out of your life.
Isaiah 28:29 "This [command] also cometh forth from the Lord of hosts, which is wonderful in counsel, and excellent in working."
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Is there a nearby YMCA or YWCA?
If you REALLY, REALLY think hard you CAN AND WILL find a solution.
A family who posts for boarders?
LTL
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Sometimes local colleges let people stay in their dorm rooms off season for cheap.
I have done that before.
Are you living in a covenant with death? With bitterness in your marriage? Read Isaiah 28. The bed will not be long enough or the covers wide enough for you to ever find comfort in that life. In Isaiah 28, God tells you to take a stick and beat these conditions out of your life.
Isaiah 28:29 "This [command] also cometh forth from the Lord of hosts, which is wonderful in counsel, and excellent in working."
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Okay well if I am not I will just go. I will just do this on my own. You're not going to make it. You are activelly looking for reasons why you can adhere to the "no nights apart" policy, instead of actively searching for ways to make it work. There is a difference. But then, I'm only repeating myself.
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I am not but in spite of of the affIair and the circumstances that lead to it life must go on...rent must be paid. School must be paid. I appreciate all the advice but we will make it. I know plenty of nurses who have And most of them worked nights for at least part of there career. I do not have the type of ince that is expendable no matter what you all think.
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