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.. Do you know his name? Yes. Well if you know his name you should be able to find out everything about him.
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Believe it or not we had sex and a very nice evening. I gave her a long foot rub and plan A'd her for over 3 hours . Yes I know and have known her flaws and knew I had a wife that bought into most of the MB principals. My family right now is what I need to try and keep together. I am in a holding pattern. As I seem to be feeeling better. I will fight for her again and once recovered will adress the outstanding issues that she has. I've been down this road and am hardened. What happens I am going to be OK. DD'S BIRTHDAY. Next week
This will be hard and I know most here would be sending her out the door. I know that she had boundaries and accepted them. But they obviously were temporary. That will change or it won't but I will take that risk for my family. I dont understand. Do you still plan on getting evidence for exposure?
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She had one contact in her whole list that was a male. And I knew about him, and he was certainly not in anyway threatening to me but now I know different. I met him several times...seemed like a nice enough guy. This just strikes me as odd. If you knew she was on FB messenger and she only has ONE male contact, wouldn't you have known who the OM was immediately? Any of her Female Named contacts could also have been the POSOM. My WW had her POSOM's listed as one of her new girlfriends names. Don't discount thee female names in her contact as, yet it seems you did find the smoking gun with all of her calls and texts. LTL
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The phone # matches his contact info and his FB page shows a california beach. I am going to do my best at get through theses next few weeks.
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The phone # matches his contact info and his FB page shows a california beach. I am going to do my best at get through theses next few weeks. Here is another idea for you. If his FB profile is not public, then you can setup a fake FB account. Use a girl's name and choose a pretty woman's picture from Google images as your profile picture. Then send friend requests to all of his friends. At least some of them will add you. Once you have a few of his friends, then send him a friend request. Most people will add friends of friends even if they don't know who they are. Especially if it's a single guy who thinks you are a pretty girl.  Once you are friends with him, you'll be able to get a lot more Intel from his page.
Me (42)
Her (43) - feuillecouleur
DS(11)
DD(7)
Married: June 24, 2000
Recovered
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The phone # matches his contact info and his FB page shows a california beach. I am going to do my best at get through theses next few weeks. Do you have the phone bill? Does it contain proof of an affair (excessive text or phone calls) to this man? If so, you can trace his number and then get exposure targets
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The phone # matches his contact info and his FB page shows a california beach. I am going to do my best at get through theses next few weeks. Here is another idea for you. If his FB profile is not public, then you can setup a fake FB account. Use a girl's name and choose a pretty woman's picture from Google images as your profile picture. Then send friend requests to all of his friends. At least some of them will add you. Once you have a few of his friends, then send him a friend request. Most people will add friends of friends even if they don't know who they are. Especially if it's a single guy who thinks you are a pretty girl. Once you are friends with him, you'll be able to get a lot more Intel from his page. That is despicable. I love it.
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Or how about getting another phone...that WW doesn't know about...send a text to OM, "Stop contacting my wife. I will CERTAINLY know if you do".
Then see her response....if she responds at all, whether it be a severe change in attitude, or a question of "Why the F%^$ did you tell my friend xxx to not contact me(seeing as though she said she hasn't been talking to any men about this) then the affair is confirmed because there would be no way to tie me to the message, and I'd deny it, and ask "why would you ask ME that if there has been no contact with men as you've said??." And maybe it would scare the OM off and he'd drop it. (probably not)
Then nuclear exposure. Or do I just divorcer her...or play nice for the kids. Hell, at least I'm getting a fake wife right now!
Last edited by Mywifeilove; 08/27/14 09:37 AM.
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Do you have the evidence you need? Do you have all of your exposure targets ready? If not, I wouldn't alert them to anything yet.
1. Gather evidence
2. Expose without warning
If you don't think you have enough evidence, then snoop quietly. As soon as you tip them off, it will go way underground and it will be much harder to get proof.
Once you have the evidence, focus on exposure.
Last edited by FightTheFight; 08/27/14 10:10 AM.
Me (42)
Her (43) - feuillecouleur
DS(11)
DD(7)
Married: June 24, 2000
Recovered
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Do you have the evidence you need? Do you have all of your exposure targets ready? If not, I wouldn't alert them to anything yet.
1. Gather evidence
2. Expose without warning
If you don't think you have enough evidence, then snoop quietly. As soon as you tip them off, it will go way underground and it will be much harder to get proof.
Once you have the evidence, focus on exposure. i WILL TRY....VERY HARD,
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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Plan: I draft my exposure email, have it all set. Text OM from my phone (which he shouldn't know my number), then when wife reacts, It'll be definitive of affair, because why else would he contact her if he doesn't know my number? Then hit send on my email.
Then ask my WW what she wants for dinner!
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MyWife,
From someone who has been in MB for awhile (referring to your time here due her last affair) you seem to be losing it now! The spy game? - contacting OM via a pay phone that your ww doesn't know about just to try to rattle him and your ww? Dumb idea for a vet her such as you! It would not phase them abit. Why are you ignoring the advice here about getting the evidence you can (and it seems like you now have), and exposing her affair as her husband? I understand that you may have a physical or mental condition whereby you ignored her, but does not give her license to step out of the marriage.
You seem to be prancing now - not good for you or a wife or a OM to see.
Tom
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She had one contact in her whole list that was a male. And I knew about him, and he was certainly not in anyway threatening to me but now I know different. I met him several times...seemed like a nice enough guy. This just strikes me as odd. If you knew she was on FB messenger and she only has ONE male contact, wouldn't you have known who the OM was immediately? Only one male contact on her phone.
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MyWife,
From someone who has been in MB for awhile (referring to your time here due her last affair) you seem to be losing it now! The spy game? - contacting OM via a pay phone that your ww doesn't know about just to try to rattle him and your ww? Dumb idea for a vet her such as you! It would not phase them abit. Why are you ignoring the advice here about getting the evidence you can (and it seems like you now have), and exposing her affair as her husband? I understand that you may have a physical or mental condition whereby you ignored her, but does not give her license to step out of the marriage.
You seem to be prancing now - not good for you or a wife or a OM to see.
Tom Not losing it....trust me, I recovered this marriage before...not saying it will happen again...but there is always the chance the OM gets scared and backs off...and this from the good Dr.: "Dr. Harley generally encourages betrayed spouses to confront the affair partner." Here is an idea for you. What I did was to call the other man up and tell him that I knew "a lot" and would know if he was lying to me or not. I told him that I would expose the whole thing to everyone I knew if he didn't give me the answers to some questions I had. He spilled the beans and I recorded the conversation. It turned out to be a great piece of evidence to play back to his wife. (from another poster) And performing my plan is a 100% full proof way to HAVE ABSOLUTE EVIDENCE that there has been an A. No need to do more snooping.
Last edited by Mywifeilove; 08/27/14 07:58 PM.
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That sounds good but make sure you record the wife confronting you and try to get her to open up about the affair. Than you have evidence and you can even use it in court if needed. Also, do a thorough background check on this guy and have all his contact info ready to go. When you expose, also post him on www.cheaterville.com
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Both my WW and him share many friends from high school.
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When exposing, individual emails, texts, etc. or one bulk one where everyone can see who has been emailed?
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When exposing, individual emails, texts, etc. or one bulk one where everyone can see who has been emailed? Don't let others see who has been sent the exposure. Let the cheaters wonder: Did great Aunt Mae get this email? Did the neighbor across the street?
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When exposing, individual emails, texts, etc. or one bulk one where everyone can see who has been emailed? Don't let others see who has been sent the exposure. Let the cheaters wonder: Did great Aunt Mae get this email? Did the neighbor across the street? What about phone calls? Some people can get or don't have emails.
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