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I wish i could just snap her out of it.
DO I BRING MY WIFE HOME?
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I'm sure ML posted that video clip to encourage YOU to snap out of your paralysis. Glad you are talking with a PI.
Ask your wife to come home and keep it on the front burner. Tell her you will not be angry or judgmental, that you are going to stop doing the things that made her lose her love for you. Tell her you plan to do what it takes to make the marriage wonderful.
Make sure the PI starts working right away.
Married 1980
DDay Nov 2010
Recovered thanks to Marriage Builders
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OK, what if she says, i still am confused and still need this space. Even her mom wants her to have this space.
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She is supposed go to the house after work to pick up our son and i should get home when she is there. Is this the chance to ask her to stay.
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I have talked to a PI and is sending me a quote. He mainly will be conducting in her work PI as she works in a hospital and possibly outside of work PI. That's good! I would hire him for both, especially outside of work. Can he start this weekend? It usually just takes a couple of days to uncover an affair. Once you get the goods, we need you to NOT SAY ANYTHING but come back here and we will give you next steps.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I wish i could just snap her out of it. We want you to snap out of it! And I don't know what you mean when you ask if you should bring her home? How do you propose to do that?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Do I just ask her to come home. Tell her, I will stop doing the things that made you fall out of love with me. I care about you more than anything and will do whatever it takes to make this work. Come home and lets start improving.
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Should i buy the his needs, her needs and love busters books?
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I went to a physic as my wife did too. She told my wife, she needs to quit her job in order for the marriage to work. thoughts?
She mentioned there was another man and the the grass was not greener on the other side and that if we did not resolve, next year my wife would be in serious pain and her health would decline. She said i would get in a relationship rather quickly and my wife would want her family back but since i am so loyal and committed it would be too late for her.
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Forget the psychic! She's not a PI. You really are getting the best advice from this forum. This is what Dr. Harley would be telling you, and he has helped save thousands of marriages. He is also an expert on infidelity.
Married 1980
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Recovered thanks to Marriage Builders
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OK, i message her and said, How are you doing? Its been an hour with no reply.
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She also just withdrew $40 cash. Should i ask about it?
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You can't force her to come home - you can't snap her out of it. You don't have a magic wand.
Exposure will make her ashamed of the A. Exposure will make her mother see this 'space' for what it is - adultery.
Any 'psychic' worth her salt can diagnose an affair. She's described what usually happens whan an affair goes untackled.
The betrayed spouse falls prey to a vulture and the wayward spouse's affair doesn't last. Everyone familiar with affairs knows that. How many desperate betrayed spouses do you think psychics come across? Ever seen The Mentalist?
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Yea i understand I can't force her to come home. I also don't think she has committed physical affair yet and i don't want it to get to that point.
I have seen a few episodes on the mentalist. Is there a specific episode on this?
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Should i schedule her a phone counseling with Dr. Harley?
Last edited by StuckInLove; 09/19/14 03:32 PM.
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That won't do you much good at the moment. The first thing you need to do is get the PI hired and get him/her started on finding out what's going on with her.
Married 1980
DDay Nov 2010
Recovered thanks to Marriage Builders
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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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No. He hasn't got back to me. If I catch her cheating. I don't see my self trying to even bother fixing this marriage. I consider that the ultimate disrespect. Although she is in a fog and is drunk on her feelings.i still wouldn't take her back.
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No. He hasn't got back to me. If I catch her cheating. I don't see my self trying to even bother fixing this marriage. I consider that the ultimate disrespect. Although she is in a fog and is drunk on her feelings.i still wouldn't take her back. You don't know that now and you need to take this one step at a time. All of us felt that it would be over if there was cheating, then realised that adultery can be a catalyst for change if both want it. A chance to tear up the bad habits and create a passionate, romantic marriage. Would you like that?
3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)
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What do I do if I catch her and this other man together? Put on a walk, at dinner, etc?
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