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If all your family want you to leave him; can they provide a short term loan?
If he yells, loses it or throws stuff again before you get out of there call the cops and tell them your husband is out of control and makes you feel unsafe. Don't hesitate to protect yourself or to get incidents like this logged for the future.
Last edited by indiegirl; 09/21/14 01:06 PM.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Joined: Jun 2014
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I moved out for one week and stayed with friends. I have been doing a 180 for about two weeks now. I am back home as of last night and have had no contact with H except for texts pertaining to the business of running the house (bills, dogs, etc.). I can return to the friends' house if need be, but its awkward to be there with them.
H is starting to beg for reconciliation. I have no emotions for him.
Last edited by Dawneva45; 10/17/14 02:30 PM.
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I moved out for one week and stayed with friends. I have been doing a 180 for about two weeks now. I am back home as of last night and have had no contact with H except for texts pertaining to the business of running the house (bills, dogs, etc.). I can return to the friends' house if need be, but its awkward. The 180 Plan will not save your marriage. It will destroy it
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I understood that a 180 was appropriate in the case of an emotionally abusive marriage.
Last edited by Dawneva45; 10/17/14 02:31 PM.
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You need to plan to separate, Ma'am. You did a very good job of explaining your needs in your letter and he has rejected that. He has insulted you in his response and made the problem 10x worse. I believe his threat of a divorce is meant to get you back in line and is a bully tactic. I would give him 3 weeks to meet the conditions in your excellent letter and then make plans to separate. You should start making those plans NOW. I want to applaud you for making a decision to NOT tolerate his abuse and not having sex with him again. If you did not take that stand you would grow to hate him if you don't already. Separation may be the only motivator for him to change. If he doesn't change, you are better off living apart beucase much more of this horrendous behavior will damage your emotional and physical health. Please check out this article by Dr Harley - and note that you have done exactly what he would have recommended: When To Call it QuitsThis is the advice you were given, nowhere is the Plan 180 in this post.
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I dont understand your posts.
Did your husband move out of the marital home?
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I moved out temporarily. I'm back in the house but not back in a relationship. We have an in-house separation because we cannot afford to live elsewhere and we have animals to care for until they are re-homed.
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I moved out temporarily. I'm back in the house but not back in a relationship. We have an in-house separation because we cannot afford to live elsewhere and we have animals to care for until they are re-homed. You aren't following any advice. How can I help you?
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After he has killed or physically disabled or driven you to insanity the animals as well as your children will have noone to care for them anyway.
MD
happily married to and in love with DH
3 children out of the house, 2 more to go
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There's a great movie about "in house separations..."War of the Roses."
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I moved out temporarily. I'm back in the house but not back in a relationship. We have an in-house separation because we cannot afford to live elsewhere and we have animals to care for until they are re-homed. I can't remember the specifics of your situation, but in some locations there are animal shelters who have ties to women's shelters and domestic abuse services, that will temporarily house animals while someone is leaving their home in a crisis. They basically board the dogs for you while you leave your place and secure a new place that allows pets, or while you find a different alternative for your pets. This may be an option in your area.
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