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I still don't understand, you have full access to your WH facebook account right?
Well why can't you access her friends and family list using HIS facebook account?
BW 36(Me)
WS 38
Married: 2000
DD1November 22 2008 - DD2 October 2014
PA Duration September 08 - November 08
Second discovery- 6 online affairs 4 sexual one emotional. October 2014.kids: DS 17, DS 14, DS 12, DS 10 . Baby after divorce DS 18months
Divorced
Was misled into thinking we were in recovery for 6 years.
If you were shocked reading any of this, that this is the consequence of not following MB to the LETTER.
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I still don't understand, you have full access to your WH facebook account right?
Well why can't you access her friends and family list using HIS facebook account? I've asked this same question and haven't yet received a response. dfh88, can you access his FB account?
Married 1980
DDay Nov 2010
Recovered thanks to Marriage Builders
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I can access his account, but when I try to go to hers it tells me there is an error or the page is not available. Somehow she has it set up so it is really hard to see or get to. I think because she suspects I am on his account...
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Usually they communicate on messenger and then I think she allows him into her site. From some of the conversations she has had with my husband that I have followed, it sounds like virtually all of her friends on facebook are men and poets. I have never heard a woman's name come up. And all I have for the men is first names...the other interesting thing about that is that she was telling my husband that all of these men are or have fallen in love with her (and she makes it sound like she doesn't like it) but seems to enjoy the poetry they write about her...it makes me wonder if she is having the same kind of interactions with all of them that she is having with my husband.
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Right before he left on his trip on Sunday he was on facebook messenger with her so I logged in to his page and then tried to go to hers. Even then I got the error screen saying the page was unavailable and they were actually chatting right then. I know she also checks the "location" or origination of the device that he contacts her with because she asked about it in one of their chats saying she didn't recognize the device. I don't know quite how to work around that...she is obviously pretty savvy and I don't really want my husband to know how much I am tracking right now...I know if I ever tell him he will be really angry. Will I ever need to share this particular aspect with him?
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Just to clarify are you trying to access her page from HIS account? Because it sounds like you can see his account from your account but can't see hers from your account. What we are saying is log onto his Facebook account and as him look at her friends list
BW 36(Me)
WS 38
Married: 2000
DD1November 22 2008 - DD2 October 2014
PA Duration September 08 - November 08
Second discovery- 6 online affairs 4 sexual one emotional. October 2014.kids: DS 17, DS 14, DS 12, DS 10 . Baby after divorce DS 18months
Divorced
Was misled into thinking we were in recovery for 6 years.
If you were shocked reading any of this, that this is the consequence of not following MB to the LETTER.
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Posts: 30
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Oh, my husband also mentioned that there were other men from our town that have sent her friend requests while her information was showing up on his page (she has since made sure that nothing she likes or writes to him shows up for anyone else to see) and she has denied them all. For example if I am looking at one of his posts on my page, the post may say 3 likes but when I click to see who liked it it will only show my name and one other. I know she is the invisible 3rd person. I don't know how she does that...
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Another way around this is put her on cheaterville like it's already been suggested to you to do so and then expose her with the link to cheatersville on the poetry page on Facebook where she claims men are falling in love with her and where the affair began. This will warn others about her and get the message through for her to that you are fighting for your marriage.
BW 36(Me)
WS 38
Married: 2000
DD1November 22 2008 - DD2 October 2014
PA Duration September 08 - November 08
Second discovery- 6 online affairs 4 sexual one emotional. October 2014.kids: DS 17, DS 14, DS 12, DS 10 . Baby after divorce DS 18months
Divorced
Was misled into thinking we were in recovery for 6 years.
If you were shocked reading any of this, that this is the consequence of not following MB to the LETTER.
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When I log into HIS account and try to go to hers, there are no friends visible.
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Well she has blocked you wich is understandable but you should be able to see her details if you log on as your husband.
BW 36(Me)
WS 38
Married: 2000
DD1November 22 2008 - DD2 October 2014
PA Duration September 08 - November 08
Second discovery- 6 online affairs 4 sexual one emotional. October 2014.kids: DS 17, DS 14, DS 12, DS 10 . Baby after divorce DS 18months
Divorced
Was misled into thinking we were in recovery for 6 years.
If you were shocked reading any of this, that this is the consequence of not following MB to the LETTER.
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Posts: 1,155
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She may well be hiding her friends list from your husband as it's likely he's not the only one she is messing with so makes sense she would want to keep all her men oblivious to the exsistance of each other so best plan I can see is blow her out the water by posing her on cheatersville then posting s link of that to the poetry page
BW 36(Me)
WS 38
Married: 2000
DD1November 22 2008 - DD2 October 2014
PA Duration September 08 - November 08
Second discovery- 6 online affairs 4 sexual one emotional. October 2014.kids: DS 17, DS 14, DS 12, DS 10 . Baby after divorce DS 18months
Divorced
Was misled into thinking we were in recovery for 6 years.
If you were shocked reading any of this, that this is the consequence of not following MB to the LETTER.
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I haven't been able to so far...maybe she has her page down this week since she knows he is gone, or at least has it set so his account can't access it. She does worry that I am on there watching...
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I haven't been able to so far...maybe she has her page down this week since she knows he is gone, or at least has it set so his account can't access it. She does worry that I am on there watching... You don't know what she worries about in her head. But what you can do is expose her on Cheaterville and hold her accountible
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She is an attorney in her country and takes care to cover her tracks. The other piece is that she is incredibly wealthy (if she was telling my husband the truth) and I'm guessing that is helping to keep her more "invisible" - homes in gated communities all over the world WOW an extremely beautiful young wealthy attorney with homes in gated communities all over the world...is she a secret agent too??? This woman is a serial cheater who is cat fishing numerous men online and filling them full of CRAP. You know this right??? I am not saying you should not be holding your WH accountable and following the exact same steps to get him out of this affair as you would if it were with Jane next door, but this woman is clearly a predator of sorts. This is the EXACT place a cheaterville exposure would be helpful, to warn others online about this woman.
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You keep saying how she covers her tracks and worries about you 'watching her' which makes perfect sense, because she is living a big fat lie and is protective of being outed.
Exposure would work like a charm with this woman. I would focus on Cheaterville and exposing to her poetry clan, this will cause a great deal of havoc for her and I'm guessing she might just *poof* disappear.
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I am grateful that he has had no electronics this week. He has been totally out of communication. I have been checking just to make sure and they are definitely out in the wilderness far enough to not have cell phone coverage.
My only fear is that he will be so anxious to contact her after a week of no communication that he will connect with her before we can have our talk... Not if he comes back from the wilderness to find 1) OW disappeared after being outed as a cat fishing predator or 2) OW raging like a rabid raccoon after being outed as a cat fishing predator, 3) ALL his family, friends, and colleagues aware of his secret and shameful affair, and 4) a wife who lovingly but firmly tells him that he is going to send a no contact letter to her and then have NO FURTHER CONTACT forever, or it will end in a dark separation and divorce. But, if he comes back to the standard quo of a wife who gives him the 'ok' to cat around with a catfish, then yes, he will probably contact her immediately.
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Oh, and the person that my husband told used to be in the military and said he still has a few contacts so he was going to try to do some sleuthing for me about the other woman... This is great! I think it was also recommended you hire a PI to find out more info on her. Are you able to do this? I was looking for someone once, and had a friends who's dad was a PI. He had the person's address, work, and all communication device information to me within an hour!
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I don't really want my husband to know how much I am tracking right now...I know if I ever tell him he will be really angry. Will I ever need to share this particular aspect with him? You don't care if he is angry. First of all, that is like a drunk driver being angry that you took away his keys. Or a baby being angry because you won't let him eat the whole bag of candy. He is simply having a tantrum for not getting his way (not in his right mind), when all you are trying to do is protect him! Also, your marriage can survive him being angry, but it may not survive an affair. Where there are affairs involved, O&H behavior does not apply. You are snooping to protect your marriage and family. No you do not need to tell him. And even after the dust settles and she is gone, you will want to continue to use spyware to snoop on him to make sure he has not reinitiated contact with her, which you also will not tell him about.
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WOW an extremely beautiful young wealthy attorney with homes in gated communities all over the world...is she a secret agent too??? This woman is a serial cheater who is cat fishing numerous men online Report her to the relevant Bar association. People get disbarred for this kind of stuff.
3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)
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A little sleuthing on my own and a call to the law society of her country shows no record of her being registered as an attorney...I guess I shouldn't be too surprised...going to see what else I can dig up on my own to present to hubby during our talk when he gets out of the woods!
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